What is your impression of introverted people?

I think all of these may be true of at least some introverted people. The first three seem to me to be the most likely/common, so I checked those. The rest of them don't seem any more true of introverts than extroverts.

The first two, I think.

They are normal, just not extroverted.

This survey was inspired by "The Introvert Advantage" (which I've been reading).
The book's main point is that Introverts are largely misunderstood (mainly by the 75% extrovert majority, but also by themselves). The book defines shyness to be something completely different from Introversion. Shy people having low self-esteem, while Introverts just have a different temperment (are more reserved in how/when they speak). There are many leaders and celebrities who are Introverted.

Some people also mistake it for being a snob, too.

Introverted people aren't all the same.

Introverted (shy) people are VERY self-absorbed and very self-centered as they go about their lives thinking "everyone is looking at me"...when, in reality, they should be concentrating on how to make "others" more comfortable around them. That is THEIR lesson in life. The opposite is true with extroverted folks.

Does the word "elaborate" mean anything to you?

They rule!

I would say: they are normal just not extroverted,they are sensitive usually,self-centered or better they can fall in that trap,seeing that their self is what gives them strength,more than the selves of others,but it doesn't mean they are all a bunch of selfish butt-holes...,they are sexy (personal opinion ,they are for me),they have a tough time in their life,being a minority (and thus they often become shy,but they are not shy in themselves,so I didn't pick that).I am one,I understand them (us) and like them.

Yes,a lot of introverts are shy,but is more a consequence of the way they were treated.
A lot of extroverts are shy too,and I guess they're the one suffering more with their shyness.Maybe introverts adapt more to shyness,so is easy to confound the two things.
But surely is not the same.
I have always been introvert,but not always shy.When I feel well or between friends I definitely am not shy,more the other way around (same thing online,where there's a protected ambient),but I'm still introverted.

NO ONE is obligated to make other people comfortable around them. Introverted or otherwise. We are not all hosting each other.

Wow,you really don't know anything about Jung do you?

You have the sensibility and empathy and knowledge of psychology of a shoe.

That's the last exchange between us.
Still in anxiety for those poor people you "help".
You're shallow.

I'm not sure if I'm introverted. I don't think all introverted people are the same. If its possible I think I might be both.

That's not possible and is what happens to everybody.Yes looks like a contradiction.But,everybody is EITHER I or E,but we can act like both,cos both of them things are in us.But still there's a way you hang towards more.
Try to think about how you feel better,how you feel completely at ease.Of course some traits will be I,some E,but I think is extremely rare to have them totally balanced.You can switch and adapt (that's what all grown ups do),but where do you feel better?

I am introverted then. I tend to act extroverted a good part of the time though.

YOU think that they think everyone is looking at them. YOU think they are self absorbed and self centered. YOU also think because people are not afraid to be themselves that they are somehow uncaring to those around them. Maybe the social rules type people should chill and be more accepting of other people. If they are uncomfortable it is their problem. I've met plenty of extroverts who care what everyone thinks of them, yet they have mean hearts and are very self absorbed. You can't just generalise because someone is introverted or extroverted.

Hmm.Just look that is not a cause of stress not to be yourself.
You can also be just shy.

Yes, that was mentioned in the book too.. extroverts often see introverts as aloof.

I agree, and I think the book mentioned this too... It said that a shy extrovert is a very unhappy even tragic person, while a shy introvert is really not so bad off.

One of the things the book called out as a common misconception was that people (usually extroverts) often see introverts as self-centered, but this isn't generally accurate. Introverts have a rich inner-life, with lots of stuff going on in their head much of the time, they process a lot of what they experience, more than extroverts, and this is perhaps why they can be easily overwhelmed). Anyway, those thoughts are not self-centered, often introverts are thinking about other people, not just themselves.

Exactly.

Don't you find a little ironic that HE talks about social rules and making "others" comfortable?

That's the exact opposite of his behaviour here!

Yep!

Introverted people are shy, anti-social and boring. I understand introverted people. I know that sounds negative, but I'm quite capable of being an introvert myself. I think that those are the only really accurate options, they essentially describe an introvert to a tee.

I prefer the term 'asocial' to 'anti-social.' 'Anti-social' makes introverted folks sound comparable to the likes of Ted Bundy.

In response to some of the comments above, I think that anyone who says that introverted people are "normal" are probably trying to be nice. "Normal" being a supposed positive quality that one should aspire to. I think of "normal" as being something statistical, with no particular value judgement. It seems to me that if we are talking about introvert/extrovert behavior, obviously introverts are demonstrating a behavior at one end of the spectrum and therefore not "normal".

I think that bill's shy/introvert explanation (from the book) comes down to semantics. I doubt that most people would make those distinctions. To the casual observer, a shy person and a person with a "different temperament" are going to look pretty much the same.

I think most people's definition of 'normal' in this case is 'there's nothing wrong with them'

I've always had a problem with the idea of "normal" being associated with positive qualities. The fact is that if everyone was "normal", we would probably all still be living in caves! You know what I mean?

They are not common,but they're normal.Is only another way to adapt.And no one is 100% introvert or 100% extravert.In that case sure they are not normal
but is like red haired people,they are not common,but they're normal,that is theirs is just a natural way to adapt that doesn't have to create problems (and if it does is only because the common people don't like them)...normal is one thing,common is another.
The casual observer is usually extraverted,cos they're the majority.but saying introverts are not normal is like saying redhaired people is not normal.

Yep.

No, those are MY perceptions...not Jung's. Not everything has to be textbook, you know. So, I know you are pissed because I had to point out to Mandy and SueBee the destruction they are causing their relationship. You TRIED to sympathize with them, even condone the situation...but it was tenuous...at best. Do what you will with me....I still like your music, though.

No, no one is obligated, but shouldn't you "want" to do that? As being a kind, considerate human being instead of an introverted, self-centered "the world is watching me" idiot?

Is not only Jung.That's also MY perception.
So now?
I'm pissed for your whole attitude,all your dumb jokes,all your self-important comments about how you're handsome and lovey and you "help" people,all your histrionic acts,how shallow you appear,how completely unable to get a contact with people,all full of yourself and fake.
Because if you're not fake,then you REALLY have serious pyschological problems yourself,
I mean YOU married 6 times,your "marriages" lasted like max 10 years and you think you can tell to other people how to deal with their relationships???
And this last thing you said is the top of silliness.
I hate being harsh like this,but you deserve it.
Is like you're always trying to make people unhappy,poison whatever happiness they might have,and all the while call that "helping."Now I agree that helping can be shocking,can come as a shock,but it seems like you like to play with people personalities like toys.maybe is good your analysis are often inaccurate.And also even if they were,do you really think you can know people after spending so little here??
I really really fear for those who really come to seek help to you,if all you said is not some delusional thing as it sometimes seems,because you have the ability to make people feel hated,hateful,closed,depressed.I don't even want to think what you could do to someone who is really in a difficult time.Ruin their life forever I suppose.Or just hope they try to kill themselves again so you can "help" them?

I'm not like this-you bring this out.I guess that's part of your work...making people to become antisocial and mean?

really you should learn something,but you just want to teach,never learn.You're like a big endless joke nobody laughs at.
Sorry (but not sorry) if I made you feel bad,but is your turn now.Is been months you've been hurting people,now is your turn.
The bigger the picture becomes,the less I like it.
The Sue&Mandy thing is only very marginal to this whole thing,is just one of the endless things that make you appear either very sad and needful of SERIOUS help or the biggest butt-hole on earth.maybe a combination.
I'm sure you have lots of theories on why I hate you so much...*laughs*

Want to do what? I think that reply was for joalis. Also: You're completely wrong about introverts thinking the world is watching them. I don't go out with the thought in mind "everyone is looking at me/watching me". How is it self centered to be a quiet observer instead of an interacting person? How do you know a person's heart or how they care about others, just because they don't talk much? You ASSUME. Who ever said I wasn't kind or considerate? I am very considerate of other people. If anyone happens to get anal or bent out of shape over my mannerisms, that do not effect them, then THEY are over sensitive and easily offended. No one should have to walk on eggshells to please people.

...Are shy; are antisocial; are normal just not extroverted; are self-absorbed; I am introverted; I understand introverted people.

I'm introverted, we have a tough time in life, I understand us, we're shy, we're normal.
I myself however can be anti-social at time, and some introverts can be sexy, though I consider it more mysterious, and i want to talk to them....which makes a real difficult situation

No, you shouldn't want to go out of your way to make sure people are comfortable around you. People don't do it for me, why should I do it for anyone else? If I look or act or talk a little bit different, and I'm not hurting or threatening anyone but they get uncomfortable for some reason, I shouldn't change what I'm doing just to make them feel better. What if their standards are too high? I mean. lets say I'm in a room full of people all chatting away at each other, and I am just listening, being very quiet. Then I get a sense that someone is uncomfortable by my silence. That should make me want to say something? Sorry, I don't cater to unreasonable and petty expectations at the expense of my own comfort.
I am kind and considerate, and I don't have the attitude that the world is watching me. Where did you get that idea?

Nope. Sorry. I totally disagree that red hair is normal. Black hair is normal. In terms of natural hair colour, red hair is about as abnormal as it gets. I wouldn't be surprised if people with red hair were less than 1% of the population of the planet.

I agree that normal is one thing and common is another, but in order for something to be "normal" it must be the MOST common.

I know you've been under pressure lately...speculating at the insecurities of initiating a relationship with a musical partner that has changed from a 'long distance to short distance' romance. I do not, currently, know the status of that...my sources have not gotten back to me, but
I am hear to listen if you want me to know.
You're dissatisfaction with me has "nothing to do with me". I know that .It has to do with the difficulties you are, now, experiencing after so many failed relationships. I know how you feel.I've had them, too. Don't EVER give up!!! But, as I've said in past surveys...Love Conquers Everything, but you have to be open to it, Dora...not closed and immersed in solitude. Men want their woman to be butterflies...so fly, Dora Lighten up with him and joke...laugh...sing (happy songs not dead baby songs ). "My Ivy Days" was the only song you wrote that seemed to have true joy in it. It is time you allowed yourself to start feeling that. I do not take what you say personally, though. I have made many, many friends on this site that I help (and they, me) on a continual basis. I do not need validation, Dora. I've gotten that a very long time ago. Let me know how things are going!! Think "light and fluffy!!!!!!"!!!!!!

Why are they not talking? And describe...using 1,2,3,4,..your obligue mannerisms ( I already know about the eye thing...which can be corrected)

Because they don't feel like it? Because they just have quiet personalities, prefer to listen and observe rather than talk all the time or be the center of attention? Who knows and who cares. It doesn't matter. It's a dumb thing to worry about if someone is a quiet person.

I am just ME and it's different than a lot of people, I don't try to be fake, phony, use the same words people use, etc. If realness or being down to earth makes someone uncomfortable, maybe it makes them feel guilty for being so fake? I don't think anything is wrong with my mannerisms. NOTHING AT ALL. There are a few strange perfection police out in the world who might have a problem with it but they don't matter.

I havent slept well this week, getting about 4 hours a night. Don't make me think to talk.

they are just normal people who don't spread themselves too thinly. I am one.

Fudge you.
Your honey-covered tricks don't work anymore with me.
And you better take it personally,cos that's how it wants to be.

Actually black hair is not so normal/common in whites.I met almost the same quantity of red haired people and black haired people.Actually the reds were a little more common.
Brown hair are the most common.

I'm even more mad at him in that case.I'm not a mouse.
You have to ASK if you want people to help you on a project or be a sample.
Or else...well maybe that's not illegal,but is surely not a good thing.

I wasn't talking about whites, nor were you. At least that isn't what you said. I'll take a wild stab and say black hair is probably common to about 80% of the population (probably 99% in my neighbourhood). Brown hair would make up most of the rest.

But the point is, just because someone is "normal" (because they have black hair or whatever) doesn't make them in any way superior to someone who is abnormal. Everyone who has ever made a significant contribution to humanity was abnormal, if only for that very reason.

Well if someone is blind,and another is not,of course the not blind person is "superior",as long as is not socially superior.But of course the blind person will need to fight more to get the same things.
They're not inferior or superior in themselves,but some of their qualities are.I believe there are qualities (not people) inferior or superior,and qualities that are just different.

Actually this is a much more interesting example. Because most people can see, the human world is set up for their convenience. Even left-handedness/right-handedness would be a similar example. In these sort of cases the superiority of normalcy is tied directly. Of course it only relates to that very specific aspect.

I would think that for introverts this sort of thing would become apparent in social situations like parties and such. Particularly if they are being badgered to put that book down and mingle a bit.

Some introverted people would just avoid things like parties, and they would take a job where they only had to work with 1 or 2 other people.

To be honest I don't know what introverted means so I said they are sexy.....and just cause I don't know what introverted means does not mean I am a stupid person, so all of you computer geek dumb f u c ks who are about to reply to my message and talk down to me like I know nothing, just shut the f u c k up right now and try to understand that I really don't give a s h i t what you have to say.... :)

If anything was going to make you appear stupid, it would be your attitude... :)

I personally don't care how many people I have around,I just don't want them to expect me to be their "friend".
That doesn't mean I will be rude,just that I happen to have a different idea of friendship.
Some people think that just because you hang together a lot you are a friend.

And I like parties!

If I'm feeling well,that is who I am without depression or any other problem I might have,I'm social and not shy.I'm simply introverted.I don't give myself away easily,I need time alone,I'd rather have few deep connections than many superficial ones,I'd rather look inside than outside,and when I look outside I try to look inside others,the inside thing is always there...I think...is hard to explain...but that doesn't mean I'm shy,afraid to speak,or of a crowd,or of being with many people.Actually having a lot of people looking at me is okay,asking for a road to a single person is not.Many musicians,actors etc...are introverts.They don't take up performing art to cure their introvert style,actually that is an enhancing of their introvert style.If you're on a stage,people won't bother you with small talk,they will expect deep and get deep.It will be intense,like it's supposed to be.Also you will be protected,cos you will be in a particular position,so is like an ideal for some introverts.
Is like introvert-land.
I'm not afraid (I'm shy sometimes,but that's something that is not me,is a flaw.Is not "natural"),simply I couldn't mantain the same kind of relationship I have with my few friends with everybody I met.I will be dead by now.
To do so you either have to be superficial ,or completely crazy.
Don't know about you,but if you had to care and love every body you met your brain would explode!

And I don't mean a simple kind humanitarian care,but something that touches deep inside.No way I could do it with MANY.

They aren't so full of themselves as extroverts.

I couldn't do it either.

...but inevitably we all seem to wind up at a wedding, funeral, family gathering of some sort etc.. One really has to go out of their way to completely avoid all social functions.

that's true.

Well it depends

but they make less noise usually,so is better to have them around.

Four mannerisms, Ladhee. 1,2,3,4 concrete mannerisms.

UGH! I don't know. It would be easier to say what I am NOT like to compare differences of me and other people... I don't make eye contact, you said thats fixable but I dont see why it needs fixing.

I don't use the over expressed tones in my voice to sound sweeter or more caring like other people do.

I don't use typical words in response to people just because it's the typical thing to say. "Oh I'm so sorry to hear youre not coming!!!" etc. I'm more of an "aww" if I really wanted them to come or I say "ok"

I don't OVER express facial expressions to show fake over concern where there is mild concern. That goes for happiness, excitement, pleased with others etc. I grin at people and say "Hi" when they approach me and say "Good morning", I don't smile really big and say "Hi how are you-so nice to SEEEEEEEE YOU!!!!!" :D :D :D

I pause when I talk, and look off to think of what I am trying to say, sometimes I rub the side of my face or neck or fiddle with my hair when thinking--but I dont know if this is something people are put off by. *shrug* It might be why I'm not taken seriously.

I sit and stand however is comfortable without worrying how I look. As long as I am comfortable with myself, I dont care how it "looks".

In social groups, or social settings when a bunch of people are talking, and I'm tired, I cannot fake alertness and interest when I just want to sleep. I pay attention to people, but don't do a whole lot of responding, or respond more monotone. This makes people think I am acting snobby. (I know this by hearing it thru the grapevine)

I dont know if this answers your question. I tried to think about it, but it's loud here so it's hard to concentrate.

I have some of the same mannerisms as you, but it's easier overlooked in Alaska than Louisiana, I guess.

It is. I noticed that when I moved down here. It took a long time to find a more accepting group of people, like at my church now. Everyone is down to Earth & accepting there. A lot of other parents at Danny's school are Military and seem more accepting, too.

Well, how BIZARRE!!!! BIZARRE!!!!! BIZARRE!!!!!!! Nothing, I repeat nothing, sounds in the LEAST bit odd to me. When it gets "quieter" I will allow the question to be answered again, and this time....I want some clinical differences that pertain to making communication with people (Vickie, more or less) difficult. I haven't heard anything, yet.

I didn't say communicating with people was difficult. You said I dont do it enough.

Apparently my mannerisms alone are enough to put some people off. (like at my old church and with some inlaws) SOMETHING about me puts some people off when I've done nothing mean or offensive to them. I guess you'd have to be around me in person to figure it out, because I sure don't know what it is. I suppose I should ASK next time I put someone off!!!

OH MY GOD, A breakthrough........................Can you pinpoint one of these mannerisms that you believe bothers people more than the others? Does it depend on "who" you are communicating with?

somehow i knew this was yours...

YES it depends on who I am talking with! Some people, who are more accepting of others (or don't find my mannerisms odd) do NOT get bothered, while social ettiquitte police type people who believe everyone should conform to all these unwritten social norms would be put off by an "atypical" person.

I think maybe facial expressions, lack of enthusiasm in tone of voice. These are things I dont feel I need to change, because I would be MORE uncomfortable being fake to please people.

What breakthrough are you talking about? Asking people why they are put off? Well since nothing significant has happened in 3 1/2 years--don't have to worry about that do I? Ive told you before, I've been prepared to ask next time someone acts like a jerkish dolt! Before you even came to this site, I made that decision! It's too late to go to past people to ask.

Does Vickie notice these mannerisms? Has she ever commented on them? Why do you suppose "she" is not put off by them? Or is she?

Because she is one of the cool ones. She probably doesn't even notice, because she isn't anal (judgmental) and she doesn't expect too much of others or assume the worst because someone is different. If she does notice, she's just accepting and loving & isn't petty.

Oh, you have to be "cool". I see. And it's anal to notice your mannerisms? Have you ever "asked" her if she notices them?

What do you mean "oh you have to be cool"? If you're accepting of people even when they are different, you are cool. People who are not accepting=uncool. People who expect everyone to conform to their standards=uncool. She doesn't act like that, therefore, she is cool. People who do not get "put off" over things like that are cool!! This is why she does not get put off!! She's just cool!!!

No, it is not anal to notice atypical mannerisms. It's anal to judge negatively and be rude and snotty to people because they have atypical mannerisms.

Have you ever "asked" her (Vickie) if she notices them?

fudge 'em..they're just people

An excerpt from The Introvert Advantage:

In the early 1900s, psychoanalysis, Carl Jung was working with Sigmund Freud and Alfred Adler, two other pioneering psycho-analytic theorists, when he noticed something puzzling. When Freud and Adler discussed the same case histories of patients, they focused on very different information. They also had developed almost opposite theories. Jung thought they had both captured something valuable. [...]
      Jung thought Freud was extroverted because his personal orientation was outward toward the world of people, places, and things. Many of Freud's theories were developed in conjunction with extensive correspondence and discussions with numerous colleagues. Freud believed that the goal of psychological development was to find gratification in the world of external reality. Jung though Adler was introverted, since his theory and focus was inward toward one's own thoughts and feelings. Adler's theories were based on the internal struggle to overcome the feelings of helplessness expressed in his term "inferiority complex." He saw people as creative artists shaping their own lives.
      Freud's theoretical differences with Adler and Jung ended in bitterness. The three parted company and each went his own way. At that point, Freud began to use the concept of introversion as a negative, implying a turning inward away from the world, in his writings about narcissism. This shifted the evolution of the concept of introversion away from healthy and toward the unhealthy, a misconception that remains to this day.
      Jung continued to develop his theory, and he surmised that we are born with a temperament endowment that locates us somewhere on a continuum between very introverted and very extroverted.

No, I never thought to ask. Because.......... it never crossed my mind & doesn't matter!!

Then, how do you know you exhibit them?

Because I know myself.

It is just the opposite, Bill. There was "no" moral judgement referred to in these early discussions. "Typical" and "Atypical" were the words of choice...and remain so, to this day.

So, you're AWARE of your lack of a facial expression. Are you looking in the mirror, practicing talking to people?

You can tell what your own face is doing, if you smile, frown or be serious. I am more serious unless something is funny or someone is talking about something happy, I might smile, or when they greet me, I'll grin.

WHY DO I NEED TO PRACTICE BEING FAKE?

Do you think you are introverted?

People who come off as introverted interest me. I always tend to want to figure out why they are the way they are. I don't like to label people and I can at times be introverted and as everyone knows extroverted. I suppose if someone reacts(notice I didn't say acts) introverted more in life situations than extroverted or never extroverted at all(is anyone like this?) then you could label them introverted. I can't believe though that everyone, even those labeled introverted, doesn't have at least moments when they are outward and exuberant and extroverted especially with those close to them in private situations or with groups they trust.

There are times when I am very extroverted. One job I had, I was so talkative, I annoyed people.

Do you consider yourself an introvert?

yep

I think that many people who seem to be introverted also seem to carry an air of sometimes-attractive vulnerability

I agree. I just tend to want to pry them gently open...and peek in

Of course they do!

They're humans!

Is just a matter of how much...they're just less extroverted than extroverts.

I'm pretty sure I am. and you?

In reply to your larger comment... I'm also a little confused on this point. The book (and general theory) does say that introverts often will appear extroverted, be social, have a great time at parties, etc. But, the common thing for them is that they will need to recharge by being alone later. Introverts aren't shy little freaks (though, some may be), many of then are well adjusted, they'll just have different ways was recharging or coping. ... and they tend to have a rich inner life, so to speak (always processing and thinking about stuff internally -- which is bound up in why they need to recharge alone, often it's just to catch up on processing all that people interactions they just had). So, outwardly, you might be surprised who is introverted. But, most introverts know they are.

It's funny, the brief moments that I have spent with you in person you were so...quiet(is that the right word) compared to the person(a) I'd gotten to know online. Something about you though practically *screamed* that there was so much going on beneath the surface(picture that whole duck analogy/ above the water still and serene, below paddling like crazy). I found you to be "mild mannered" and yet brief flashes of something definitely not introverted would bubble to the surface every once in while that made me kinda grin and go, "Ah! There's bill."

I don't know what I am. I am still trying to figure myself out. I may never know. I just need to stop defining myself by the people around me at any given time and just fudging start being myself. *bangs her head against the wall*

I just dyed my hair purple

remember, "introvert" and "extrovert" are just labels we've come up with to try to classify certain patterns of behaviour... you don't have to be one or the other...

you usually seem to me to be very *mandy* and distinctive but then i rarely get to spend time with you in person...

Someone else I know online had a similar reaction, after they met me, saying something like "You're so quiet in real life". I didn't realize how loud I must seem on-line.
I was trying to be social around you and Sue when I met you guys in Vancouver, I was afraid I might be too quiet and give the wrong impression. This is a common problem for me (and introverts in general, I think). Actually, giving no impression at all is what usually happens. I think introverts can seem aloof, when internally they could be really focused on you and wanting to connect in some way, but are just waiting for the right moment or thing to say. Another friend of mine once said that he was often surprised when I would suddenly join a conversation with something really cool to say after being quiet for most of it, another Introvert trait. Still, I'm not always like that, I can be verbose and even leading the conversation. It's hard for me to reconcile that with being introverted, it's almost like I'm not being myself when that happens. It's either a different part of me, or I'm acting or faking it. Sometimes, I can fake it too well and get myself in trouble (into something I don't really like or saying something I don't mean). I don't have much control over turning that part of myself on either. so more often than not I'm more on the quiet side. But, in many ways, I'm more at ease with that side of me (what I see as the real me). How much do I owe you for this session, doctor?

This book I'm reading has a chapter about introversion and extroversion being connected to different brain chemistry and pathways (sort of hard-wired). The author feels these studies prove that the introvert and extrovert temperaments are something we're essentially born with and it has a deep effect on how we think. So, perhaps they are more than just labels.

I think I agree with the spirit of what you're saying, though... it's not worth worrying about which you are, or trying to be one or the other. I think for some, it can help them understand themselves and accept themselves. Especially for introverts who are out-numbered and may often feel unlike everyone else.

If we spent more time together in person you'd start to notice that I would take on "romkey" things. You've probably noticed this to some extent even though most of our relationship has taken place long distance. When I adore a person or am interested in getting to know a person or fascinated with them I tend to do this funny adjustment thing where I "try on" their likes and dislikes in an effort to feel closer and/or understand them. I guess that's what I meant by not knowing who Mandy is. I lose myself in people but it's fun and I learn so much and then incorporate what I like about them into myself hence...liking myself a little better with each persons positive qualities and interests I...uh...mimic? Sounds freaky reading it. I become more well rounded, experienced.
But my question is then, who is Mandy if so much of her is what she has gleaned from those closest to her? Like bill, I am a whole different gurl online than in real life. A real Extroverted *seeming* person. Bawdy, shameless at times. I am shyer in person until I really get to know or feel safe with people.
I cannot be one or the other. You are correct. They are behavior labels and I behave both ways depending on each situation.

Oh bill...you've given me enough. So many things and in so many ways. No payment required

You know, jen comes across the same way in person. I remember thinking the same about her and just being puzzled as hell that you guys are both Leos? Am I getting that right?

I remember though how exciting it was at one point when jen momentarily became animated and bright while relating a funny incident or story and I was able to see that side of her as well.

I adore you both.

I'm curious, what does the book say about intro and extroverts as related to upbringing(opposed to hardwiring) and/or birth order?
I know the way I was constantly shamed as a child by my mother to make me "be good" has a huge tie into my feeling shy or quiet or unsure of what to say at times.

I am introverted. It is misunderstood - pretty much everyday - it has cost me sometimes, but whatever. The thing is that I think that being shy is "elegant" sometimes - it's not always appropriate but there are times when there's people going around being loud and craving attention and the introverted folks are quietly observing, considering the situation, thinking about other things - and looking nice.