Do you believe in the phrase 'forgive and forget' ?

Yes I can forgive everyone and move on.

Forgive-yes, let them forget-yes, forgetting yourself all depends on your memory and forgetfulness. Can I be forced to forget my first experience learning to ride a bike? Nope. Just as I can't be forced to forget some wrongs done to me. PS: thats not the same thing as dwelling.

No,I believe in forgive but not forget.

Forgive, but not forget.

It also depends on how often the person does what they are doing, and whether or not they even think it's wrong.

it really depends on the situation. There are some incidents which are so bad that you'd be a fool to forget them. You'd also be a fool to ignore a pattern of repeated incidents.

Generally, yes. Though, "forgive and be wary of them for a while" might be more prudent. I like the idea that the best way to encourage someone to be trustworthy is to put trust in them, but I know that this does not always work out. I probably most often just take a metaphorical step or two back from people who have done something that diminishes my trust in them. I think young people are a special case where you're more likely to get better results.

Kids who steal might be an exception to that. You could banish a kid from your house for stealing, and finally let them back in months later, only to find to your dismay, that they still steal.

personal experience?
My comment came from my experiences running a web site where there are a number of younger/teenage users. I've found that in most cases a slap on the wrist for breaking the rules is often all that most of them need to get on track. Though, there are others who never change, they are the minority.

Yep. Personal experience. I'm thinking of kids in the older elementary and pre-teen years who steal. It takes a long time for some kids to outgrow stealing, especially kids who steal things they don't even really want.
I hear you on the teens, though. Some teenagers are 'only playing' when they break the rules, and it doesn't take much for them to understand that you wont tolerate it.

I believe I can forgive someone, but I'd be a fool to forget what they had done. Fool me once, shame on you - fool me twice, shame on me.

For the most part, yes.

Other. (Sorry!)
Not only will I have to vote other, but I won't even be able to explain my choice of other, because it's too complicated. Bleh.

I believe in it very much, that doesn't mean I can always do it. I think I've forgiven everyone in my life but one person.

The question and answers seem totally different. I don't believe in forgive and forget, but rather forgive so you pretty much forget. This I can do, so I picked the first option.

Yes, it is always best to forgive and forget. That is not to say, I always am quick to do that or that I never hold a grudge. But really, it is the best way. I read somewhere that bitterness corrupts the vessel it is carried in.

Depends. Generally speaking, I tend to be very forgiving towards "equal opportunity" butt-holes for some strange reason. They can do just about anything to me, and eventually I would get over it quickly. I am not so forgiving towards 'nicer' people who screw me over or are not too nice to me. Especially groups, I fudging hate that. Individuals for some reason arent as bad. As far as forgeting, FUDGE NO!!!!

I belive it was Jonh F Kennedy who once said "forgive your enemies, but never forget their names".

Yes.

Can I say the infamous other?

I can forgive someone, but never forget. You don't forget because you don't want the person to do the same thing to you again.
But forgiving releases the anger.

yes, its possible if you can't just learn to move on and take things for as they are today.

absolutely....

"...I cling to nothing, therefore i have nothing to defend..."---carlos

happy birthday my lion friend

I can move on, but I don't exactly forget incidents. I can't erase significant events from my memory. I can get over it and stop bringing it up, but I still remember things from time to time.

It took some time for me to forgive and forget to a friend.
Once I did, she wasn't ready or willing to forgive and forget

I forgive and forget pretty easily. I think life is too short to hold grudges. We all make mistakes, and I would hope that people would forgive me for mine.

Living in unforgiveness will eat you alive and change you into a bitter hateful person.

I hold grudges and move away, distance myself from those I cannot forgive. I don't punish them or be unkind...I just pull away.

I'm similar to you (of course )

I give people a lot of chances

sometimes it's "cannot trust" rather than "cannot forgive"

Right on....I'll only be somebody's fool for so long. It's a self preservation of sorts. I harbour no ill will, just refuse to play the game anymore. It really is more about trust and less about forgiveness or holding grudges. You put it very well

thank you

It totally depends on the situation

Yep, it's the only way to live for many reasons.
1) You can forgive people simply because they are written that way 'Forgive them for they know not what they do'. No one begrudges a polar bear for eating a sea-lion.
2) People are a combination of innate tendencies and environmental conditioning circumstances. In a sense, everyone is doing what they believe life calls for them to do.
3) If a person has forgiven themself and moved on (for instance, the ('truly') repented sinner type), then to hold a grudge against them would be like holding a grudge against a new born person. By such rebirth, they are no longer the person who committed the crime in the first place. If, on the other hand, they are still feeling guilty about it, they are still the same person who committed the crime, and the guilt is about being a peson who could do such things.
4) We define each other. If you believe strangers you meet on the sidewalk will be butt-holes to you, that's probably the experience you will get. Going to family reunions should give you a hint of this. Don Juan goes as far as suggesting you stay anonymous and avoid all durable contacts with those who would hold you down. Social workers suggest something similar too for those trying to make a clean break of their life.
5) There's no point in YOU living with a grudge, no matter what others may have done to you. It just makes matters worse and gives offendors more continuing victory/offense.
If you can forgive people, you can have better relations later with them than if you don't, and good relations with others is one of the best things life has to offer.

There is a difference though between forgiving and being an ignorant continuing victim. What people are and how you deal with it are different. You can forgive someone who stole from you and be relieved of any karmic emotional burden, but without passing judgement, you may be wise to prevent them from doing it to you again.
This is quite tied in with judgement, a concept most people probably don't get. When scripture calls for not passing judgement, it refers to a higher subjective realm of wrong and right, not the lower objective realm, where it is indeed proper to call a thief a thief and deal with them as suits your societies laws. What is forbidden is condemning them in your heart. When you fell sorrowful that a murderer has to endure being a murderer and miss out on the greater joys of life, you spread a greater life. The other (less cool) option is let them pass a murderous heart onto you.

Doesn't surprise me at all that you've run into that. Better than teaching what won't be tolerated is to teach how it's uncool; treat everyone as part of your own being.

I love those answers. Especially #3. The last sentence in #5, I also believe. If people WANT to hurt you, tick you off, or make you feel bad, and you shrug off those minor offenses, you win.

You teach how it's uncool by not tolerating it.

I tend to forget so quickly I guess..I forgive...because i don't remember...

That might not convey it though.
There's a sucession of involvement on their part.
Not tolerating, particularly through punishment or scorn, will get through to the self-centered as 'I better not do this again or 'I' will suffer consequences'.
The next step in getting through is 'I better not do that because 'they' don't seem to like it and 'I' will lose their friendship, trust, or respect'.
The hopeful stage to reach is 'I would suffer if that happened to me so I wouldn't want that to happen to them lest 'we' suffer.'
Something short of the third option is comparatively living as if life were some sort of cheap game.
Another way of putting it is to get them to a place where it feels uncool to do it, not just registers rationally as being uncool.

I do believe in it but it depends on whats been done.

I don't have the skill to do that, and I'd rather not. There's this oblivious kid in our neighborhood that acts all friendly when I see her, as if she's never done anything I don't like, and as if she's never been kicked out of my house. She's 10 years old and she totally forgets what she does wrong or why I don't want her around, or even the fact I don't want her around. She's annoying and pesty and forgetful. One time, she ran Lexie over with a bike, and said 'let me see your leg' as Lexie was crying. A few days later she asks "How did Lexie get that scar on her leg?" No matter what I say or do, she forgets it all!

I bet she only pretends to forget, just to have something to do or say, unless she has something wrong with her that causes her to forget.

I think there's something wrong with her, and her parents are doing nothing to fix it.

umm, fun. I have a neighbor kid who blames me for things like her sandals getting muddy, although her parents can see me telling her to get out of the mud. I'm no expert on all sorts of personalities. Some of them operate from much different concerns and expectations of what can work.

I like your list of reasons. Well said!