How would you solve this dilemma?

The police would be the best course of action. I would not get involved personally unless I knew exactly what is going on and it doesn't seem like you do.

I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do, but since you asked what I would do and not what I think I should do, I would agonize briefly and then delete the email and do nothing about it.

You don't know the circumstances behind this. For all you know, these people emailing you are axe murderers, not loving grandparents. You should not hand out info about your neighbors over email.

I think I'd go to the mother, hear her side of the story, and then depending on how that sounded to me possibly take it to the police. Although come to think of it, what do the police have to do with it? Do the grandparents have any sort of legal claim to the child? If so, why?

If the mother is abusing or neglecting the child, such that DSS (or the local equivalent thereof) gets involved and decides to remove the child from her custody, the grandparents are often given custody, should they so desire it.

There have been several cases in the news in recent years of grandparents randomly suing for custody of their children's children, some that I've heard of were cases of gay or otherwise non-traditional families.

That's exactly why I'd want to find out if/why the grandparents had any legal claim before helping them; there's an awful big difference in those cases, to me.

i don't think i could do nothing. i think i would try to find out everything i could about the case without going to the police. there are all these stories about women that run with their children because of abuse and they can't get justice. i would hate to send a child back into that situation. tough situation, going to mom would probably make her run again. police would probably take children back if it is a case being investigated(if the dad is looking too)..... it may not be though. then again these people may not be related at all.
very tough situation.

I have verified that the woman still lives with her daughter at the address the 'grandparents' specified & has lived there for four years with her parents. I talked to an attorney friend of mine who is their neighbor & she was quite stunned about it all. She said the child is delightful & healthy & happy & her first reaction was to warn the child's mother that these people are looking for her & their way of trying to garner information. Like she said, they aren't trying too hard since they know the address & no one has changed any names.

arg! I would do at least two of these, why is this a single answer?

I believe it's an FBI matter, as it crosses state lines, &the local police are likely to be at a total loss as to how to handle such a thing. That said, however, the kid could be in danger of being nabbed once identified, so I'd notify both the mother and the local police, and consider sending it upstream from there. In-family kidnappings have fudgeed up some people I know pretty badly.

I would not go around personally trying to find out all the relevant information. I am not an expert at this, and might miss some really important aspect- also I would not want to get myself lost in someone else's soap opera. I would leave the "talk to every one involved" part to the trained professionals- ie Local Police, FBI, DSS, etc. Basically, I'd try to set the right course of action in motion, then get the hell out of the way.

this sounds kinda strange...doesn't sound likely...at all

These answers don't work well in a single-choice survey; they aren't at all mutually exclusive.

If I think the kid's in danger (nothing in the dilemma as posed indicates this is likely) I might talk to the woman or the kid or the local school or something.
Otherwise, what you're telling me is a woman living in my community is raising her own children perfectly reasonably, just hiding them from her in-laws, who are the sorts of people willing to spam an entire community and try to turn her own neighbors against her. I have problem with that -- hell, I might offer to babysit!

I emailed the 'grandparents' & asked them who has legal custody of the child & would they object to me contacting the police. They have not bothered to reply so my attorney friend, the woman's neighbor, is going to talk to the mother & tell her what is happening. I think she needs to be forewarned that this is going on. I know the child is in safe hands. If I suspected that any child were being mistreated, I would definitely report it to the authorities, but this is not the case. If the mother feels these people are stalking her or that it is her ex pretending to be his parents, she can contact the police. It cannot be a case of kidnapping since they are in plain sight...no one is being 'hidden' as the 'grandparents' alleged. I also spoke to a friend & former police officer today & he said to just contact the mother. It is not a police matter at this time & it would be up to the mother to decide.

Call in the pros. A simple computer check down at the station might reveal some previously unknown factor.

You are right, you don't know that these people are really the grandparents. They could be bad guys out to harm the girl or family. Take it to the police and let them investigate.