... and all of a sudden I hear this strange noise. It comes from behind a big, wooden green door. The noise is getting louder and more intense. I look around. No one but me is there. I decide to have a look and push against the door. It opens very slowly...

...and there's a monkey sitting in the middle of the street, flinging poo. As you walk by, you hear it say "She's waiting for you," and you turn to look. I bit of poo lands on the tip of your nose. The monkey smiles and winks. You turn to keep walking down the street, the poo suddenly gone from the end of your nose. You smell flowers. You turn in at a door marked "The Bronze." Buffy the Vampire Slayer and her friends are dancing while some band with a name involving Dingoes and babies plays. You spot Mandy by the bar and head over to say hello. She turns to look at you, places a finger to her lips, and heads towards the back door. You pass by the bar, drop a five down, grab her drink, and follow her out. You see her turn the corner at the end of an alley...and then your damn alarm clock wakes you up! Just as it was getting interesting! Maybe you'll pick up where you left off tomorrow night.

You turn the corner and there is nothing there but a strange mist that smells like the general store you were in yesterday. In the distance you hear the clip clop of hooves on the wet cobblestone. The mist suddenly takes direction and fills a giant condom that is the color of a monkey's eye.

The condom slowly floats into the air but you notice that any birds which fly too close disappear completely. You hear two women (probably whores) walking up behind you, talking about Jack the Ripper. One of them suddenly comes out with a blood curdling scream.

Her friend has vanished, also sucked - perhaps forever - into the condom. The other woman glares at you, somehow believing that you're responsible. There's something about her. Her eyes pull you in.....

And Jack the Ripper jumps out. I take out my cell phone, while bunch of Brits stare at me, so I could call the police. But before I am able to dial my number, someone starts yelling 'She's a bloody witch, let's burn her!'. So they give me a 'fair' trial, and jury cons

Zang lurches out of a back alley wearing a Batman suit and a tutu, riding a unicycle. He has a large spoon coming out of his his mouth and soap bubbles are rising from it like a bubble pipe. As he scurries back and forth, suddenly hordes of miniature clowns come out of the alley from whence he came. They swarm like rats over the cobblestone pavement.

when suddenly you realize that everybody around you is carrying baguettes and speaking German. You suddenly see a bright light streaking across the horizon and heading toward downtown. You, along with everybody else in the street, run towards downtown, trying to see what it is. As you get closer to downtown, you realize that the light is a huge, HUGE missile, with the words "Made in the USA! (by the hard work of it's politicians)" stamped on the side. As the missile strikes a ski-scraper, and detonates in a bright flash of light, as you see the beginnings of a mushroom cloud and a shock wave decimating those buildings close to the blast, as the shock wave races down the street towards you, you think to yourself, "Oh, those #@$%ing Americans..."

(I know that this does not quite meet the criteria, since it doesn't involve Survey Central members, but it is symbolic of the world situation, not to mention representative of how I feel right now about America's politicians.)

And out of the marketplace walks Cleo, carrying a load of styrofoam, and Julie carrying a load of books and some FOOD. We all go back to her flat for a party. Zang provides the musical entertainment, while Kristal gives everyone psychic readings.

And in a back room, there's mandy with 8 other people, men and women, having the best orgy ever. They beckon everyone to join when they want or to just sit or stand and watch.

...and then you wake up at 10:44 when you had a political science test at 10:00! Oh, sorry, that was my morning this morning.

It begins to rain and the road seems to grow darker even with the glow of the gaslights. A beautiful pale woman in a cheap dress immerges from a dark dank alleyway just ahead of you, adjusting her bodice and smoothing her rumpled skirts. She looks up and frowns because of the rain. You recognize her immediately as mandy from SC but of course, in this surreal dreamlike state she looks to you to be a no more than a common street whore.
Her cheeks are flushed and her hair is disheveled and she appears out of breath. You almost bump into her as you step forward. She turns, surprised by your presence and exclaims in a crass way, "Oy! Watchit you. Are you trying to scare the life out of a poor working girl?"
You meet her gaze and are taken aback by her dark eyes. As you go to apologize she raises a small hand and motions as if to stop you from speaking.
"Wait a bloody minute. I know you...." she says, her eyes narrowing as she casts a suspicious look at you.
"You don't live around 'ere. What's your business in this part of town?"
In a sing song taunting manner she chides you, her hands firmly placed on her hips, her head slightly tilted.
"Shouldn't you be at a fancy dress ball or the living it up at the theatre, then, instead of wallowing around down 'ere with the likes of us rats and trollops?"
You look to your right and catch a glimpse of your reflection in a leaded glass window.
You are dressed in the finery of the upper class. You also see a small sharp scalpel clutched tightly in your right hand as it catches the light from the gaslight and the glint reflects in the window.
She sees it too and screams.

*bloody hell*

Hey, you asked for it!

Following the vanishing Mandy, you turn the corner and step into a sunny meadow. People are frolicking and Madonna is playing on a quaint white bandstand off to one side. You search for Mandy and spot her with a large group of people. You don't recognize them, but you know that they are all Survey Central users. You walk over purposefully and say, "Hi. I'm Dino. The monkey sent me." You hope this is the right secret passphrase. They turn and face you in unison and each person raises their left eyebrow and scrutinizes you. You feel eight years old again, and look down at your feet. You notice they look a little smaller than usual, and are clad in those trainers you wore in third grade. You realize that not only are you now three and a half feet tall, so is everyone else.

You wake up and realize it was all a dream, and then you go and have yourself a big snack.

Seems I'm in a lot of your dreams.
Just like real life

A two foot tall painted porcelain statue of the virgin mary has been following you for three blocks now. You duck into an alley and a greasy bearded man pulls open his trench coat and pulls out japanese color lithographs of orange coi with purple tree-ed mountains in the background. 'Where did these come from?' he yells at you.

Some of these replies are fantastic! And yeah, just like real life

*kiss*

Joalis pops out from between some buildings and leads Dino to a jungle-like place, where they meet up with a bunch of other SC users and go to a futuristic type of place, and then to a place with really weird buildings. Then they all go to a place full of souveneir shops. That's when he realizes they are in a theme park.

.....and he doesn't have any trousers on.

Which is all right because it's the Loch Ness Monster Park and everyone's wearing kilts. You're handed one and then you're free to frolick and play for a bit with a big blow up Nessie before coming back to Cain's Dad's house for some tea and biscuits.

*refrains from adding a bit about the monster under Dino's kilt*

Goes without saying!!

Easy Tiger!

*growls*

"blast, I say. The priestess has ravined, andthe crown is drowned. Hasn't Morgaine seen the Stag?

he he he he he he he he he he he he

I am a big dinosaur. My skin feels itchy and I have to go to the bathroom. A passing prostitute asks me how I would rate my need to go to the bathroom:

Very strong (urgent)
not so strong
just a mild sensation
other

I choose very strong and every creature I pass on the street gives me their rating. I stop to smell a rose and it says "other". A laughing animal in the shadows cackles "very strong". It starts to rain . . .