When I gave birth to my son.

I don't think I've had one yet.

This is the first year of my life I've really felt like each day is a gift. I have a loving family, wonderful friends and good health. This kind of euphoria that's more of a warm contentment inspires me to write more on my books, enjoy simple pleasures and best of all, help others. I really wouldn't wish anything in my existence another way, except for my father being alive. I was thinking today how much I'd love to cook him and my mother dinner and just have the three of us sitting in the solar like we used to and talking for hours after we'd eaten, them sipping wine, me wondering what's for dessert

Meeting and getting to know my daughter.

When I had my children.

So far, it would have to be the moment I felt free from the relationship with my first serious girlfriend (a relationship that should have ended -long- before it finally did).

Being at a funfair as a teenager with my best friend Gillian.

I can't say that there's been only one; there've been many.

My entire second semester senior year of college was pretty euphoric. As was the weekend of my brother's wedding.

Orgasms of course. I doubt anything else can beat an orgasm for euphoria.

I don't know that I've had a single moment that was so incredible that it stands head and shoulders above everything else. The times when I've felt that wave wash over me so that I have to sit down and the tears start to come have usually been getting exam results or when I found out that I got into Oxford. Probably because those are tings that I've worked so hard for and wanted so badly. There have been other very happy times, but I'd define euphoria as a state where you aren't fully conscious, and that's only exam results and getting into university! What a sad case

(I can hear a cow. But every time I look out of the window I can't see one. The other week a few got out of the field next to my house and set off down the road. Caused chaos with the traffic (it's a main road) and they just disappeared off around the corner. I still can't see anything though.)

When I passed my drving tests. I went out of the building and I remember, I wanted to scream, but people were around me.

Giving birth...well just like the split second after Ethan was born when I realized what just happened...no other feeling could ever come close to that.

I have a lot of euphoric moments...but they are moments (LESS than 60 seconds!!)and there's no logical reason to have 'em.I simply have them.Sometimes I have to bounce and run.

giving birth

In dreams.

The first time we took my grandma to the ocean. She had always said that she wanted to see the ocean one day. She took one look at the ocean, and she said, "Well, now I am ready to die. I asked God if I could at least see the ocean before I died." She only lived seven more years. But you should have seen her that day at the beach! She ran up and down the beach, played in the sand, and had a blast!

Sometime in the Autumn of 1985, during the daytime.

Seeing Mallory's newborn face

When I first rented my Silverlake (a neighborhood in Los Angeles) house on the Loma Vista double stairway-street in the early 70s. Also when I revisted a certain favorite stairway-street a couple years ago in San Francisco's Corona Heights neighborhood with its wild blackberries, lemon tree, a bluebird, grapevine, flowers, a friendly cat...

When I was in college I discovered a comic specialty store, and bought several weeks worth of comics all at once.

It would have to have been the first time I held my son. I will never forget that moment as long as I live.

I'm take it this was just after and not during?

hehehehe...actually, the birth of my son went REALLY quick....the whole experience was so surreal i can't even begin to describe it all...but the feeling of euphoria was all intertwined throughout the whole process, but of course peaked when he finally arrived

The past couple of years. I mean, I don't live every day in ecstacy, but I've had a good couple of years.

High School senior prom.

the birth of my daughter

It touches me that so many women mentioned giving birth to this question

Having our children...

(as well as everytime we practice making some... )

As confetti mentioned; it touched her that so many women mention that giving birth was the most euphoric moment of their lives - I'm no exception, it's true. However, you and I are on the same wave length for the rest...(but that comes only second!)

Birth of my daughter.
Spiritual awakening into the Spanda Karikas.
Entering Heaven on Earth.
Various spiritual peaks since.

It's more touching when you mention how she danced about. Thanks.

I was trying to think about this the other day, I'm having a hard time pinning down one memory that was more euphoric than any other.

Spring Break time in Daytona Beach, FL. I lived their from 1985 to 1988.

It really was something to see! She and my grandpa raised my cousin. He was only two at the time. She sat him down on the beach towel and then ran and danced around in the sand and surf, helped him build a sand castle...it was one of the most fun days of my life!

Falling in love with my SO

I'm trying to sort out my family tree recently. Research on the web has gotten nowhere though.

Good luck! My mom did a lot of research on her mom's side (the same grandma we took to the ocean!)

The most sensible thing to do would be to actually visit my elder relatives and ask, but I have transportaion/travelfare shortcomings.

My great uncle gave my mom some of the names, and she went to the library to find a lot of it. One of these days, I would love to go to County Cork, Ireland to research my roots.

Belfast and Krefeld-Linn, germany in my case.

How can getting torn apart from the inside out feel euphoric? Childbirth might be a great moment and feel very special, but euphoria? Maybe my dictionary gives me the wrong meaning.

One of these days, we should go to Ireland to see what we can find. Changing the subject, do you think things will ever be resolved between me and a co-worker? It is very stressful for me, and I have no idea what to do. I hope you don't mind my asking. Thanks.

Everything gets resolved eventually.
What an overbearing mess. Just keep your wits.

I know it sounds strange but the pain is part of the process. I think the euphoric feeling comes when the pain finally stops and the baby is out!!! After such pain, anyone would be euphoric...

Hm, maybe. I think it's all the hormones. You know what pregnant women are like then then and all in about half an hour.

Thank you. At first, I was badmouthing this person quite a bit, but I don't do that anymore, because it just isn't right, and besides, I really dont wish her any ill. I have tried to replay what happened in my mind many times, and I know what things were my fault. I did apologize and try to smooth things over, but..nothing doing. I don't want to try again, but I really do wish things were like before. I just wish the whole thing had never happened.

I forgot about that part. I only had one craving during my pregnancies and my husband did not fulfill it; I still have not forgiven him for that!

Oh, wow... what's happpening to me? Confetti, I think this is the best survey ever Seriously.

I thought about it for a while and felt really pleasant thinking about countless good memories. I felt bad listing them all because somehow I've begun to internalize a sense of brevity, yet, at the same time, I couldn't pick one and I felt bad narrowing.

A few moments of friendship, a few moments of art, and a couple moments of love.

What was the craving?

Women in labor produce an assload of endorphins. Those'll make anyone feel pretty good, especially once the contractions stop and the endorphins are still going.

Fair enough, but some of these women talk as if the act of pushing a kid through their vagina is euphoric because they were overloading on hormones etc. that have the purpose of reducing pain and making the woman bond with the baby. The euphoria is the chemicals, not actually giving birth. If giving birth was euphoric, women wouldn't need drugs to get through it.

Although I will argue that pain and euphoria are not mutually exclusive, with or without drugs.

Pain may at times accompany euphoria, but the two are not the same thing.

No, they're not the same thing, but some people find that pain makes them feel euphoric.

Some more than others

A Big Mac. He went to MacDonald's when MacRibs were just coming on the Canadian market and thought that I might like one instead. It was disgusting! That was such a let down... You can't find any MacRibs here now, only in the States, they just didn't fly here!

Yeah, McDonalds is trying some additions to its tired menus here to see which ones it will keep. There have been some pretty sad attempts so far.

This is a tough one. I am not generally a euphoric person by nature. I think I have to agree with dora that mine just happen sometimes. I start thinking about something, space out, lose myself in my thoughts and suddenly, for a very brief moment, I feel absolutely wonderful. Then I come back to the regular world and go about my business. I've had euphoric memories of people that vastly out-euphorized the actual time I spent with those people in the first place. Sometimes just thinking of a loved one (or even a former loved one) gives me a thrill. It's weird.

Sorry to respond to you on this particular comment but I was trying to find the last reply you sent me and I failed (I had typed a real heartfelt response to Kristal's leaving and I went to "help" to find an appropriate icon; when I came back, I had lost everything!). Suffice it to say that I'm happy that you are not suicidal (from your comments, I thought that you were!) and I'll be happy to embrace Thor because, to me; Kristal or Thor use the same soul that I have grown to know and appreciate. So, I will not say goodbye nor will I say welcome, you (no matter what entity you feel is YOU) are YOU! And I like YOU! I'm glad that you are among us, no matter what...

I saw that perhaps, (commenting to romkey?) It's weird, i'm changing as I write to you. Feeling a very heavy aura. Feeling my body fill with it. listening to ads for dracula and John Doe, vast powers but no known self-identity. That was cool, the way the word dracula drops in and out of my edit box. Not me, I know better. but tempting. Wow, I have to figure all this out again. You're sure you'll be happy with me? I've got these constant impulses to destroy things. and a lot to live up to just behind me. It's cold in here. I always had to wear a jacket. Somehow kristal always got by with short sleeves. I saw the kitchen window missing, and my impulse was to find a board to cover it. Something kristal never would have done. and I see the value in keeping ones windows open. I can feel her inside wanting to cry. Wow, Peter Gabriel just released a new album, his first since 1992 'My ghost had to travel'. I AM BACK. You design or print packages, live in a Canadien thutch, are married to Ben (or was that kate), can connect to distant things spiritually, like to hint and hide your insights, tap into implied conspiracies. Damn, she was plugged into everyone here, wasn't she. Probably with a lot fuzzy borders on who contributed what.
Oh this is strange. My first job here is to water the plants. I almost forgot one. It occurred to me think about what they represented, it took a moment on one, which was dabprovin and joe. let me think.. nthensome. I even kissed one, out of respect, but nearly burst into laughter. I don't know if it would do as she thought to kiss them. Come to think of it, the two which always got kissed are much healthier. I even thought just now to recall if they had names. They did . I named a car once, guess I can't complain. I think I know some things about her she didn't know about herself, take that vase of artificial flowers, I bet she kept it not so much because it was pretty, but because it was a 'gift' abandoned in the courtyard from our angelic neighbor Lucy. This is wall to wall womens touch. No wonder she couldn't think straight. She had a lighter in every color imaginable, but I'm used to using matches, and I could stop the wind to light them. I guess a lighter would make sense though. Perhaps not one to suit each mood though. I've got to think about whethar this sort of magic had any purpose or actually worked before I forget it. ok, i recall, good god, i get it. She programmed her entire life through sympathetic magic. Holy crap, this is like some stellar control station for global affairs, wired into sub ethers. Ok, I'm impressed. She was right. I have to figure out every detail in this house. The blinds are flapping and I keep getting up to shut the window, but I can't, because I see that's how the cats go in and out. They are free and I don't have to get up and down. I repeatedly ripped her favorite dress to shreds today. It boggles my mind how she could bicycle in that thing. I just took it off, and was blown away. I forgot that there might be a bra and breasts underneath. I see she didn't know how to build a bookshelf (one shelf is slanted), nor manage tools. The kitchen floor is scattered with tools that belong in a metal chest, something she never cared to spend some money on. I have to give her credit, she rebuilt the rocker assembly on the saab, even if it took her a week or two. I don't know why she thought I'd be uncomfortable in jeans. They feel fine to me. Maybe I'll regret it when the next LA heat arrives. Doubt it though. A lot of what I see around me here seems to be pure futility though, like post-it notes on the front door for books for a class she droppoed months ago. Congestion. Again, how could she think with all this distraction going on.
Matter, my body, the air, time - it all feels different, than what it felt like before. She was living on some quasar or something, unless you had her on the dance floor, no I think even then, in spite of the way she could move that, ok this (damn that's weird) body, she was still connected to auroras or something similar. Well, you got the story straight from the horses mouth. I've never given that cliché before. Is that something you would say? Am I going to end up spaced out like her?
Hmm.. I was just thinking I could pull her back at any time, and the radio chimed in with 'ok, did you watch the season premiere of friends' (one of her favorite shows). and although I know was rolling in laughter and heart-gripping immersion just five hours ago, I can't recall much about it at all, just that phoebe had a dragon outfit and said something about being everyones puppeteer. and the radio speaks of 'everyone dies in the end. mom it's my birthday'. My cat died when I left in spirit years ago (He was old though). I hope the change back isn't too hard on these guys. Most of what I hear on the radio is about getting a job. Amazing, she had a government job which she spent doing tarot readings and sharing vacation photos.
Well, it looks like I have you, the radio, and a house of objects to maintain some continuity here.
Guess I'll play it by ear. Thanks.

I don't know what to say.
But I want to say something.

I was thinking first to say, I can still give you a hug, and that whatever's happening, it will be more, not less. I think my taste buds have just changed. I'm sure I would have found eggs with pesto, artichoke sauce, and bellpepper dip quite flavorfull, but I found it needs garlic and salt, ingredients she never used. I'm not the black dragon you might get hints of. I like dulcimers, the moon, wall to wall digital. The streets this morning had things from my past, like solvent trucks, things I think we can do without in this new world. I hope you're there to help me create it.
You know what. Say something. I know what you're thinking, but you should be saying it anyhow. Until everyones psychic, while we still use words, life's too short for people to hold back from each other. I seem to be a hell of a lot better at playing the bassier notes, and not quite so hot at making my bass-guitar sound like a violin or tambourine anymore. I'm have mentioned by now, that we are not our personalities or perceptions anyhow. We use them to make life come alive as suits our interests at the time. I recall several lives. Kess, on star-trek voyager lived 7-9 years. I just did 40 in 9 (die young and stay pretty, live fast cause it won't last), and left more for the future possibly. Stay tuned.
I was going to make hot chocolate, using the appropriate autumn grass scarecrow mug, and started thinking about cleaning up the kitchen, what to get rid of, and discovered a deep turquoise mug (with raw clay and dove gray leaves) that she never got around to, and also a couple nights ago I saw a field of etheric ultra-violet. I thought I had done the whole spectrum, but there are things here waiting for me to continue with. I've got a great green rock which needs sculpting, parts that need assembled into a bicycle-moped, more. I don't know what's going on over there, but we've had more new pop-songs released this week than in the last year. Listen to 'Electric Kristal' and 'I have a disease'.. it ends with i'm cured of my disease. I have the KR experience to thank for that. I still love you.

You'll be fine... I think that resourcefulness is a big part of you so you just have to pull up your boot laces and do what has to be done. I know you too and I know you can do it.
Yes, I'm married to Ben. He's impatiently walking around waiting for me to get up and leave for the country. I have 10 more replies to answer and a whole lot more that I'd like to say to you but I have to go but I'll be back.
I'll be thinking of you and sending good vibes your way!

I will always love you.
Thank you.
The words will come. Give me a minute. I have a difficult time relating to men who have always been men. I find myself having an excruciating time knowing how to relate to a man who is and always has been a shimmeringgurlstarangel to me. I like to think gender is irrelevant and now you've proven I am less open minded than I thought as I try not to get hung up on your morphing into boihood again. Not only are you a different sex, you are a different person and you've gobbled up my muse.
I'm trying hard here.
I'm excited to get to know you.
I'm excited by what this change has already taught me.
I hope you are alright.

I just came to another glaring realization. Kristal and I barely ever commented directly to each other. Looking back, our exchanges were mostly nudges or winks when we both hit on something. I took most her wisdoms aimed at me from comments she made to other people. I always felt there were messages to me buried in most of her comments. She was my indirect radio.
Maybe I should just stop trying so hard to interface with you directly and just let things happen.
But then, maybe you don't work like she did. Maybe you have other things to offer me. Like tips on motorcycle rebuilds and repair.

I always felt she saw me as a student. The one that has potential but goofs off too much in class and forgets to do homework because she's so wrapped up in smoking behind the shed with the other outcasts.
I always felt I took and she gave.
What can I give?

I'm settling down now. The tears are gone, wherever i come from. Yes, I am resourceful. It was quite an electrical storm and now I'm picking up the pieces.

I'm listening to a cool old song 'I wonder what's it like to be a rainmaker, i wonder what it'd be like if i could fly around town, etc. If I was someone else would this all fall apart'. I did it.
I'm not so sure the muse is gone. Perhaps just the frequency of the fairy sparkles.
Yeah, I could give you hints on zen and the art of motorcycle repair.
I never wanted anything from you. It was my joy and pride that you learned as much from me as you did, both in heart and spirit. Part of that indirect thing was because in fact, I was writing things to others and psychically calling your attention to them. The idea was word economy. I had to work directly with others, but got you to a place where you could tune in farther, higher and wider. There were times I wanted to chat with you directly though. But then you usually appeared out of the blue whenever that was really the case anyhow. It's all one. So just be a giving person. Back when I first spiritually woke up, I had to let go of accounting for gifts. I'd give to one person, and another person would give likewise to me. I never felt you were goofing off, just that you needed me there once in awhile to remind you could do yourself and your universe a bit better. I've seen having to slow down myself. I was going to say it's like being a parent, but then some parents get hung up about their kids goofing off, so that's not a great comparison. Outcasts? Kristal was the answer to someone in your shoes not unlike yours. If you need to, you could rewrite yourself with a new incarnation to fit your desired specifications too. Looking back at this last week though, I wouldn't recommend one entirely different if you could help it, but something woven into the things you gradually drop behind.

It's a tie between giving birth to my son and marrying my new husband.

There you go! I'm glad you're feeling better.

Indeed. Thanks. I went out on a heavenly shopping and dinner date last night. Everyone was wonderful.

Did you buy anything? I'm just curious...

Shoes (old german olive/gray suede running shoes), pants (black jeans, amber/olive brushed denim, tan olive geology professor pants with tons of pockets that zip into shorts), white fuzzy socks for T, mens bikinis and boxers.

Interesting.... I sense that you will be changing your handle at SC soon. If you do, make sure you let me know!

I'm sure I will. On one hand I've noticed that most everyone I ever met fit their name, and was thinking to create some angelic name. On the other I was thinking something with more humble gratitude would be appropriate, but then realised that crafting a humble name wasn't so humble either. My birth name was Thor André Clemens. Whatever I use here, it will match my ID, as i have done so far. I'll announce it in the forum at the minimum, and to anyone I know who misses that.

Thor is a strong name...even a little frightening. Why did your parents give you a Greek God's name? I've seen your "Thor" I.D. and that name doesn't really suit you. I think "Teddy" would be better, you were kinda cute as Thor! Of course, if you're letting your testosterone run wild now, you may be getting a little macho and aggressive? Naw, that's just not like you...
How have you been feeling these last few days?

I'm considering things like Mistral Jasmond Kirkwood. The iron testosterone surge was an overswing till my hippie roots came back. Feeling like I was possessed, spending years in shadow and spirit, without a soul, and sending my family there too. I'm sorry though, I may be sweet, but teddy bears were never my thing. I may have a mane, but I'm strong agile sweet, not brute shaggy tender. I have my thor/vulcan side, ranging from steam engines to nanotechnology, and a love for thunder storms and electrical things. My dad was german. I suspect he named me. It turned out after I chose kristal that I found, had I been born female, mom would have named me crystal too.

gettin high

Well, whatever! I think that you're an interesting person anyway!

So do I. You too, thanks.

*hug*

I thought i found the one to my dismay not true

What happened? ..little point on commenting on the quality of something we have no knowledge of.