I'm fine. I just woke up. Augh, my deodorant stings.

Uhh, life's great, yeah...that's it.

Everything seems pretty good I'm nervous about leaving home in about 6 weeks, but I'm looking forward to it too. I'm worried that the work is going to be far too challenging for me and that it was all a big mistake that I got into Oxford. I'm hoping that's not the case though!

And I'm happy because my little brother got his GCSE results yesterday and they were good. He got his C in maths which we weren't really expecting, and he got an A in drama. I'm so proud He's really good at writing scripts. He's writing one at the moment to eneter into a competition at a local theatre. The best scripts will get put on. It's not a competition for young people though, so he's up against adults.

Life is going pretty smoothly

Just fine, thanks.

You're going to do great at Oxford!

Well it's Friday and payday. Hub will probably forget to get quarters so I can do laundry and I really don't want to take them out to his mom's house. I need to tidy up the house and get more crap unpacked but I feel all lethargic today and don't want to do anything. Maybe I should do one room at a time and not worry about the next thing I have to do. Always makes it easier. I think hub's check will be big this week, but we have to pay rent and get some things. We're trying to save money and need more school clothes for our son, a couch, a puter desk and I want a cell phone. I wonder if my in-laws will impose this weekend when we have so much to do. I'm trying to deal with my son's Asperger's. I'm glad it's mild and I can work with him to help him out in areas he needs the help. Other people who don't understand it and judge, suck. I'm trying to look at the positive. He's into really complex "studies" or interests. Like biology, meteorology and scientific/mechanical things and he is only 7. That's all thats on my mind for now.

People with mild Asperger's can do really well for themselves, but it can be hard for the parents. My older brother has it (reasonably mildly) and for a long time, my mum thought that she must just be a really bad mother and that was why he went into such violent rages at times and why he didn't get on well with other children at school. Some teachers put him down as disruptive or unsociable. He has dyslexia too (mostly affecting his coordination and maths) and some teachers at secondary school thought he just wasn't all that clever. But he showed them He didn't really come into his own until he was about 15 but he did really well in his exams at 16 and again at 18. Now he's about to go into his second year at a good university where he's studying Psychology and he's moving into a house with friends that he's made during his first year.

I'm sure your son will do really well too - having a loving family encouraging him along will help him immensely and he's obviously got that

Thanks! Danny has hyperlexia. http://www.hyperlexia.org/

He used to react bad when he was teased. He's not like that anymore and he's not paranoid like he used to be. He spent nearly every day this summer with his cousins and that helped a lot. They accept him. He still needs to learn consideration. He forgets a lot.

Most downright freakin frolicky keen indeed. How are you?

The bad reaction to being teased, I remember that one. I'm not sure my brother's grown out of that yet, but I forgot about it because people don't really tease him anymore. He got in a lot of trouble with it when he was at school though. He bit a dinnerlady once when one of his classmates had been winding him up.

People used to say he was stupid, then they saw the straight A's on his report card. I said "Who's stupid, now?" and they never called him stupid after that.

Danny once kicked a substitute teacher in the shin because he did NOT take correction well. He still doesn't sometimes. This year he cried at school because everyone who cleaned their desks got candy. He got sidetracked and didn't finish, so he didn't get candy and he cried about it.

Sore throat, scratchy eyes, tired, depressed, sad, anxiety sky-high, frustrated with life, you name it. NO, I'm not happy. Life is a perfectly good waste of a human being. If not for my cats I would elect to depart.

My life has it's ups and downs. I have it really good and should always be happy... but that's not my personality. I seem to look at the negative side of things. I know I should change and always be positive but I just can't seem to do that. I have found that when I eat right and exercise I'm much happier. Thanks for asking:)

I prefer not to.

I used to think very similar. I've helped myself by writing all my thoughts down, most of the things I've written are negative thoughts, but actually writing them down is a positive thing. I also sometimes listen to a 'think positively' hypnosis CD while falling asleep, this helps a lot.

I've got a sore throat and itchy eyes from all the smoke trapped in the valley. There is a wild fire near Florence, Oregon and a combination of marine air and an air inversion have trapped smoke in the valley. There is field burning going on as well to make matters worse.

Fine, thanks.

My neighbors a block down are having a bad day. I woke up to a woman screaming hysterically, heard sirens, screaming continued. Police all over when I left for work. Apparently the husband was stabbing her repeatedly, she ran outside, hence the screaming. Then he decided to start stabbing himself. She's okay, questionable about him.

Dang. I thought my neighbors were bad, for just being 'weird.' At least they aren't that weird.

If I find myself rehashing old thoughts, I remind myself that I already had that thought and I don't need to think about it anymore. It's hard not to think the same old stuff over and over, so I just have to give myself new stuff to think about. Positive stuff like the possibility of getting a new house or whatever. It's a matter of finding something positive that you really like to think about, to force yourself not to think about the negative stuff.

I simply am.
It's an improvement,3 years ago I felt like I wasn't.

This is like a blueprint for most of my surveys

Seems like no one has asked me that in a while.

I'm doing okay. I'm trying to make myself believe that I don't need others' acceptance to feel good about myself. That weighing 125 at 5 ft. 2 is not being fat...and the world won't end if I eat a Milky Way once in a while.

I'm a little depressed, as well, because I've been volunteering at the Children's Hospital and yesterday I took some art supplies and stuff up to the Burn Unit...I handled myself well there, calmly, but came home and cried and cried out of pure grief for those kids.

I am really getting excited, because I will be off work in about an hour. Then I can go home and take a nice, hot bath.

fine, just fine.

suicidal

Anon #2, i'm with you. But think about it b4 doing anything, about what everyone else would think.

Yeah -- I am WORRIED somewhat -- I need a permanent job and I need health care (mainly cause I have glaucoma and need dental). I am currently only a temp and have a hard time finding work these daze.

Some issues at home are pissing me off a little, My mom is always riding my ass and grounding me every time the wind changes direction. I just really want to be 18.

I fee gr8!

i am great. we just got home from a womens celebration for our local women's center and had a wonderful time!!! we won 3 items from the silent auction and gave to a great cause!!!!!!
thanks for asking though!

I am insane. Totally.

Today I feel like crap because I have TMJ and my jaw started hurting yesterday afternoon.

I'm moderatley happy, but there is one thing that has been bothering me a lot lately. I try not to let it get to me. I won't vent here though, it would be terribly boring and I'd be here all night.

I just got my tonsils out so my life sucks right now... If I had to compare myself to something, it would probably be death, I just feel like total crap... But my good frined Andy brought up a good point to me, atleast it wasn't my balls...

My life is okay. I have nothing to vent about, so no thanks.

You REALLY shouldn't have asked that question!!! With all that's going on in my life lately, I could go on for hours. I'll spare you most of the details, though.

Life hasn't been good. My wonderful Mom is dying of cancer. We did get her in to see a doctor at the University of Alabama. It's on September 5. They're going to do an evaluation to see if there's anything they can do that's not available here. So, we're hoping and praying and crossing our fingers and all that good stuff.

My son's been sick. He was in the hospital for 4 days. He's out now and doing much better, but he's still not back to his normal self. I took him back to the doctor on Thursday and she said it could take a month or longer before he fully recovered.

I've gained 20 pounds in the last 2 months. It makes me sick to look at myself in the mirror. I need to go to the doctor and see what's going on with me. I haven't been eating anymore than usual, but the weight is coming on.

That's all I'll share for the time being. There's much more, but this gives you an idea of the crapty days in my life lately.

Oh, and my medication for my bi-polar is letting me down. I'm ready to throw in the towel and give up.

Okay.

I am over 22 pounds lighter than I was in April!!!!!!!!!!!

YIPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things are good. I was more than a little shaken by an article I read on Saddam's bio-weapons test in Halabja (some years ago, now), but I'm getting NBC warfare training at Ft. Knox (so if I go to Iraq, I'll know all about gas masks and atropine). Otherwise, I'm slated to do a lot of family vists and attend a couple of weddings before I ship out, so things are good.

I wish I could say the same thing....
How'd you lose so much weight?

A combination of things.
I was on a low carbohydrate diet for a while and shed some weight. I took a very physically strenuous and emotionally stressful job for a few weeks and lost some more. I went back to my old job after that and I started lifting and full activity there again after about a year of babying an injured arm.
Recently, I have been an exercise maniac. I walk/run at "least" 40-50 minutes every evening. A big part of that walk/run is killer hills. Now I am pretty much eating what I want, when I want and just getting out on those hills every evening after lifting and hustling at work each day.
Exercise is the key.

Well as per usual I'm pretty miserable and contemplatative. My current issue is that I went out Saturday night to XXL.
I danced and had a good time by myself - I like places with no attitude and I like to dance without having to wait for someone to go with.
Towards the end of the evening I bumped into a guy I went out with a few times but had recently dumped. I thought it best to be polite and talked. He offered me a lift home. I thought I should say no but the thought of navigating the night bus feeling tired and drunk didn't appeal. So, I agreed. We talked in the car and I had to face interrogation about why I left. He said I had intimacy issues and won't let people in. And the truth is that he was right. I do. He asked to come in. I said no. We talked some more and I ended up letting him in and we wound up in bed having hot steamy sex. Fair enough. Now I'm expected to call him. Its been three days now and I haven't called. Fortunatley he deleted my number from his address book after last time so can't call me. So, now I have a decision to make. Maybe he's right. Maybe I do have intimacy issues but maybe he's not the one to be dealing with it with. If I go out one more time then am I leading him on. Will it be more painful to go out with someone and he lets down his barriers (he has barriers too y'see) and then get dumped again. Perhaps its better to wait. Sadly he's travelling back and forth to Ireland at the moment because his Mum has been given a week to live. The longer I leave it the closer I get to intruding on this issue. If I never phone them it keeps him hanging on and makes me look (and feel) like a crap.
I need to make a decision but I really can't decide.
I put a profile on a site called OUTinTheUK which basically says: "I am here looking for friends. If you want a relationship you can ask but I warn you now I am a real problem child. You'd be safer asking for a drinking buddy. Don't say you've not been warned!"
He should have read this!

I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. My mom has breast cancer, so I know how you are feeling. She was first diagnosed with it about 10 years ago, and about 1 1/2 years ago it came back but into her bones this time. It's been a really hard time for all of us, too. I found out I was pregnant ONE day after my Mom had found out that the cancer was back. Aghhh...This is too hard to explain right now, and I'm sure you understand how it's been going in my life for the past almost 2 years, too.
The weight gain is a whole other story, too. I still have to lose the almost 30 pounds I gained while I was pregnant...the stress of my Mom's situation and being unexpectedly pregnant at the same time just piled those pounds right on!! Uggg...I hate it, I hate looking at myself in the mirror too. And, I am also on an anti-depressant which doesn't seem to be doing a damn thing. So, I think we're in the same boat as far as quite a few unfortunate things go.... If you ever want to talk anymore, I'll listen...my e-mail is mehcosta@msn.com.

Oh, Dino....I know this is going to sound easier said than done, but...if you really are this upset about this situation, and feel so bad about not calling, why don't you just write a little note to this guy saying exactly just what you said in your comment..admitting that you have "issues" and that right now just isn't a good time to be in a relationship. Say that you had a really good time with him the other nite, and you're sorry about his Mom, and because of that, too, the time just isn't right...It'll clear your conscious, and probably make him feel a little better knowing that you do care. And then, MOVE ON! He's obviously not the right person for you, and it seems like you're not even looking for that "one" person anyway. The reason I say to just write a letter or just a little note, it just makes it easier for both parties involved, especially with this situation. It'll give him a chance to just sit down and read it, and read it over again if he wants and let it set in. Don't say "to call me if you want to" in the note, because he for sure will, and you'll have an ongoing thing on your hands. I just know that if I was in your situation, and I was the "guy", I would probably appreciate a simple thoughtful card or note in the mail from you...and I would know that it was over, and I would then move on, too. Did that make any sense? I hope so...

Well, we're in the process of looking for a new apartment or finding someone we know and trust to rent out the other bedroom. We're also trying to find a way to pay for all of the craft shows and fairs we would like to participate in. We also need to make mucho profit in order to buy more supplies to stock up for these events. I'm trying to understand why my SO isn't as interested in sex as he used to be. I'm trying to think of a way to get all of my friends together for a party and hope we'll split the cost. I'm trying to find a way to get a good job that pays well while working craft shows on weekends and helping my SO fix up his parents' house. I'm trying to do too much at once.

Thanks for your email address. I'll probably email you tomorrow or the next day. My email addy is blue_eyed_angel39180@yahoo.com, if you want to email me. It's been a long hard road since my Mom got sick. She's always been my very best friend. The thought of losing her is killing me. I mean, I'm only 20 years old. I always thought I'd be old and gray before I had to deal with anything like this. (Although, I've already noticed gray hairs!) She went for a CT scan yesterday (Monday). It showed that all of the tumors have grown and that there are several more that have formed. Her cancer started in her colon. She had surgery and went through chemo. and radiation and was in remission. Six months later it was back. It spread to her lymphnodes and her left lung. It has now spread to her right lung. There's also a tumor that has grown through her left kidney. She's in so much pain and we all feel so helpless. If only there were something we could do. You know what I mean?

Go check your mail...

Thanks. I feel writing things down is the best way forward. I recently got invited to my sisters wedding - but for various reasons I didn't want to attend. I decided to write explaining my reasons so they were clear and she could re-read it. She phoned me up to abuse me and said she never wanted to speak to me ever again. But at least she still has the note explaining the reasons and my support at the end. (The guy got her pregnant when she was 13 (he 23) and he hits her) She's now 16.

With this guy I don't have his address but maybe if I draft a letter first then it will clear my thoughts on what I have to say so I don't get confused.

That's pretty sad about your sister. Sorry to hear that, hopefully she'll realize what's the right thing to do and go with it. I hope everything works out o.k. for you!

I hope so too. I'm the black sheep of the family again which at the very least gives her some respite. We take it in turns

I think that sometimes the 'black sheep' are the best ones out of the bunch!!

I'm fine,thanks. In fact, I am very content and hopeful and happy right now. Hope you are, too!

Yay,Mandy! Congratulations on your diet/exercise program. By the way, I hope Mallory had a great birthday!

Thank you julie!!!!
She did have a brilliant birthday

You're welcome-keep up the good work!
I am so glad Mallory had a nice birthday! Mine was wonderful!

Tired and scatterbrained. My house is a mess and I don't have the energy to clean it. I've had three surgeries in the past 8 months and my body is worn out. But I have to get this place cleaned cause my mind just can't take it anymore.

Could be better but now that the pressure's a bit diminished at work, I'm not feeling as bad. I still think my life is, on the whole, pointless and empty, though. Gotta work on that.

Well im a bit crap really, im annoyed because i was supposed 2 b seeing my bf last nite and he went out. How great is that!!!

I cannot complain.

Are you using an anti-prespirant, they are very different from deodorants. They can hurt!

Yeah, it is anti-perspirant. What's the difference?

Anti-prespirants can prevent sweating chemically, cake up and clog pores. Deoderants just kill bacteria and combine natural smells with fragrances. (bacteria is what causes unpleasant smells, natural smells are usually pleasant or unoticable)

Sleepy.

I'm tired! I am working Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and this is really messing up my sleeping pattern. I am not a natural early riser, but I have to get up about 6:30 to be at work at 8 (long commute) The problem is then on the weekends and on Tuesdays and Thursdays I sleep in really late. Then I stay up late the next day because I am not tired and I am a night owl. So, on workdays I am getting about 3 hours of sleep. It is a vicious cycle! I keep vowing to start getting up and going to bed more in line with my work schedule, but it just isn't happening. Must go to bed early tonight!

Blah

*soft kisses*
*big hugs*
*hands you a slice of warm freshly baked bread, a bowl of wonton soup and a beer*

I had wonton soup last night! It was very good, not like Vancouver airport good... but still good, and I had a beer with it too. No soft kisses, big hugs or warm fresh bread though... thats what was missing!

I'm worried about money. I'm not having any luck finding a job, and my husband has been off work because of the car accident we were in.

this is stupid!!!!

I'll have to give you extra of those next time we see each other. I talked to our sarah tonight! I love that gurl!!!!!!!

I miss that Sarah

I'm not bad today, thankyou very much! Surprising since I had to go clothes and shoe shopping to MeadowHell this morning. I actually bought clothes!!! (But no shoes - I shall have to go barefoot to Oxford )

I feel like a get pile of brilliant

8/10

Right now? Well me head hurts, me back hurts and me neck hurts. probably from sitting here to long and lack of sleep. Is it me or is that spider scuttling to loudly.

sucked a lot today, need a break

I'm still trying to get a career started find a worthwhile intimate relationship and improve personally