What are you afraid of?

Electricity (lightning, especially).

And scary movies.

heights

I'm afraid of life, the police, the dark, the boogeyman, ummm, strange since I'm the boogeyman, the online banking account access, brushing my teeth, static electricity, heights, spiders, mothman to name a few.

I'm afraid you all think I am not who I am pretending to be

Are you afraid of me?

Why is that?

afraid of being caught in a fire!!!

Something but I can't put my finger on it.

I am afraid of smelling your breath.

Who said you were pretending? **smootch**

I'm afraid of a lot. Too much to mention. Or maybe I just don't want to say....

I don't think you're anything other than "Mandy".

I fear nothing. "Zang the Courageous" that's what they call me...

I am afraid that I am afraid of nothing......really.

I'm afraid I'm not going to answer this question.

Afraid of lots of things such as heights.

clowns
spiders
balloons
dying lonely and not being found for weeks or years or whatever.
starting up conversations in public places - socially awkward
fear of rejection probably
falling into a river, sea, duckpond, etc (even after my swimming holiday - I need to practice)
losing my job (likely with this company) and never ever being able to find another job

Precipices, edges where it feels like I could fall. It's called cremnophobia.

Right now, nothing!!!!! I'm on a natural high

Virginia Woolf.

Who said I'm not ....
*grope*

But just who is that?
*tilts her head*
*sighs*

Basic Training, and torture. I hear their pretty much synonymous, so I hope I can lick both fears at once.

No, but maybe you shoud be afraid of me.

Why is what? Why am I afraid of these things? Let's see, life is nothing but one disaster after another, the police because I'm afraid they're coming for me, the dark - typical fear of many people, the boogeymen - cause he lived behind the furnace in my basement when I was a kid, banking access - I'm afraid to see all the fees for bounced checks, brushing my teeth - that's an OCD thing, I hate touching anything and getting shocked by static electricity, heights - another common fear and I get vertigo, spiders - I hate bugs in general and any creepy crawly things, mothman is a scary concept.

Everything will be o.k., Mandy.....

I'm not.....

What do you look like and then I'll tell you if you should be.

Ignorant and/or dishonest people making decisions that effect my life.

Mmm, yeah, you could be in trouble. Hope you live far enough away.

tell me about my new chapter just published yesterday.

I'm not afraid of you, in fact.....
I think that you and I have a lot in common.
I really enjoyed your last chapter, actually.

I don't think that you are very different from anyone else who had difficult things happen when they were young, except for your reactions to those situations......your level of fear and your level of shame.
Everything frightened you, the things that happened to you, normal childhood challenges inspired a type of fear in you that led you to feel very much out of control. You describe feeling so out of control at times that it lead you to feel physically ill.
And you were ashamed of your sexual desires.....
You seemed to suffer from amplified fear and shame and amplified sexual reactions.
When I read your chapters, again and again I am swept back to my own horrendous reactions during childhood that were also fueled by fear, uncertainty and a complete feeling of shame for all the times I felt I sexualized situations.
You have more courage than I will ever have. To be able to write with such candor about these things is admirable. I cannot face my childhood. I cannot write about it. I am disgusted by how weak I was and I am saddened that nobody ever tried to help me. As a child I felt as if I were a victim of life. I was always either scared to death or turned on and ashamed.
I now vacillate daily between wanting to be normal and love my fellow man and be confident and beautiful and happy and thoughts of complete hatred and destruction towards the human race and towards myself, with a sort of self loathing that drives me at times to self destruct.

You do not frighten me.

I frighten me.

We are a lot alike. There were many more occurances than I can remember or bother to put in the story. It gets worse, believe me. If you can believe it I copied the chapters and let my therapist read them.. He said same thing, basically normal childhood experiences. Also told him it gets worse.
Mandy, would be better to write off-line and not here. email me at bandit1cat@yahoo.com if you want to get into this further and maybe learn darker secrets.

I agree with you also about the wanting to be normal, have a normal life vs. the hatred and self-loathing.

For me it's balancing on the fence between continuing the seemingly futile quest for happiness and the obsessions of raping and mutilating teenage girls. Sometimes not sure which way I'm headed.

I am really glad that you are in therapy.

This should help.

http://directory.google.com/Top/Health/Mental_Health/

Hare Krishna!

Oh my god, should I really list everything? I am scared of a lot.

Thanks for the resources. I have a 'favorites' folder for mental health websites. Right next to my "serial killer" one.

Some of the things that come to mind are: having to answer phones at work or home; speaking in front of a group; unemployment; severe illnesses -- I have lots of nasty little "phobias."

you are such a cheeky monkey

I am afraid of: heights, too closed spaces, myself, and where is the world going towards.

I agree with you about scary movies, they can be really scary something, but I am obsessed with them. I love little Damien Thorn and Mike Myers is really intriguing to me, but when I saw the Exorcist I was so afraid I couldn't sleep. I crawled into my parents' bad, and they wanted to kick me out, but I told them about the movie, and they were like 'okay whatever, just for tonight'.

I'm afraid of unknown dogs
Diving
Supermarkets/malls etc...
Running out of time
Going to public offices
Death (I guess),because that would be running out of time as it worst.
Well I really have love/hate relationship with death,but I think it's pretty common.
I don't have any phobia,just fears.

I slept with the lights on for a week after I saw that movie.

Yikes!

Yup, that's what I did after that vampire movie... can't remember what's called.

I read alot about serial killers, save interesting sites, resources for supplies, criminal pathology, crime scene investigations, etc. in the serial killer folder.

Why?

Why does anyone have anything as a hobby? I also read cat magazines, custom homebuilding, aquarium caretaking, etc.

OIC. I found a new search engine.

http://www.gigablast.com/

Waking up in a place I didn't go to sleep.

I'm afraid for my brother.

Pushing someone off a high place, shouting "Fudge" in church, falling off the fence, high places, the monster in the basement behind the furnace, snakes, floods, the cops, seeing a girl walking alone at night, alien abduction, ...

*ahem* You forgot one....

Oh yeah, I forgot, Mandy showing up in my bedroom in the middle of the night. That would be scary.

*laughs*

Being sick (especially throwing up).
Driving in the rain (especially at night).
Eating raw fish.
Being alone.
Feeling unloved.

I'm not actually afraid of nothing, but these options don't quite match up with my day-to-day experience. There are a lot of things that I would be afraid of if I encountered them - a tiger, for example. But I don't encounter tigers and I'm not afraid of them when they're not around. I think there are things I'm anxious about in my regular life (will I ever find someone to share my life with? am I taking good enough care of my health? do all those lights that suddenly showed up on my dashboard mean my engine is going to explode?) but I wouldn't say I'm afraid about any of those things.