Sayings, adages, maxims...give a popular, supposedly wise saying as you add to it (or change it) to be just a little bit wiser, or maybe a little closer to reality.

Life's a dog - and then you become one.

"There's two kinds of soldiers: the quick and the dead." --my platoon sergeant

I'm not at all fond of adages.

A stitch in time saves nine.....but buying a new one saves doing the first one.

That's all too evident in our society each day bt I wish that it wasn't. When I was a small child (not that long ago!), my clothes were all hand-me-downs from my older brother who had got them from our cousin. By the time they reached me, they were well-patched and had all sorts of rips sewn up. But after I'd grown out of them, they'd pass to my younger brother. Once he'd done with them, the best stuff would go to my younger cousins on the other side of the family and the rest would go to Oxfam (charity shop) which was our only other source of clothes at that time. Mostky that was because we were poor, maybe being a bit better off has resulted in what I see now, but it seems to be something afflicting society as a whole, even the poorest people (in British society - not globally!)

Life isn't fair, but people should be.

Do unto others what you would have them do to you, unless you are more laid back than most people.

I can't think of anything. I LOVE quotes, and I don't like seeing them butchered. The ones above make the person look like they've lived a hard life or something.

Life is just a bowl of cherries...but I hate cherries!

That is perfect

Darn- I cannot think of any...
My Mom used to say these, and I don't know if they are common or not:

The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

No good deed ever goes unpunished.

Are these changed or uncommon? I dunno. Not feeling very clever today.

A Rolling Stone gathers no moss...but he sure is ugly!

I'd call it a grim reality, myself. "No good deed goes unpunished" is uttered around my office with startling frequency.

I don't know. I despise most sayings and quotes...I don't think much can be done to improve them. I think people should find their own guidance, strength and enlightenment from within, not from repeating chance phrases and play-on-words. It has always seemed nonsensical to me.

The only quote that has become somewhat of a live-by for me is the following (untouched):

"Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting."
William Shakespeare.

The good die young...killed by the bad.
Life's a dog...and so am I!
Life's a dog...and then you die...and then you are reincarnated!

Money can't buy happiness? BS--money can buy everything...except poverty.

Life is a bowl of cherries? Then what am I doing in the pits?

Now, now...
Nothing is ever really as bad as it seems...you have to work at getting it to that point.
Because (and, come on - you know) if anything can go wrong...everything will.

Hm...I guess if I didn't have anything nice to say, I should shout it instead. (haha)

'do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law' - aliester crowley. guess i would have to change it to : 'do what thou will...' cause ya know, wilt and the whole image of the melting flower thing and all that and so on and so forth, etc. etc. and anyway i can cause i wilt do anything i damn well want to. see? see what im sayin?

Money is the root of all evil...especially when you're broke!

Yes, but being without riches builds character in a person...and being a person with riches is to be one who gladly waves bye-bye from his yacht to that guy teeming with character.

I guess I'm the guy teeming with character because I'm certainly not the guy on the yacht!

People who live in glass houses, shouldn't.

How about: "The squeaky wheel gets to play Solitaire on their computers all day while the real workers of the office get slighted."

How about...the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence until the neighbor let's his dog out. Ugh! Not too good, huh?

'Not good'? I was roflmaoohhdervno! (rolling on the flooring laughing my ass off...and then a lot of gibberish I can't translate because I was roflmao. I liked it! It is funny, especially 'cause it's true. (Homer: "It's funny because it's true!")

Here's one: A bird in the hand is usually dead.

I guess the two in the bush would be the survivors of the horrifying event. haha!

I'm glad I read these over again! I missed yours the first time somehow. So, belated as it is...

Homer interjects once again: "It's funny 'cause it's true!"

Well, ok, if you're going to get all serious on me...(heh heh). My sister sent me an adage once that has stuck: "What other people say and do is a reflection of them - not you." The author's name is Virginia -?- I'd kill to know her last name again to read something of hers.
I just looked it up on the I-net, and although she is quoted often, no one credits her by leaving her name. Damn!

"What is in a name...but a bunch of letters?" Willie Shlackspung

"A bird in the hand is usually dead?" I thought all you had to do was stroke it!

Ah, there's so much you are too young yet to know.

Why put off to tomorrow what you can cancel indefinitely when you get around to it?
(You know I could go on forever, don't you?)

Just a chip off the old block, huh? There's one for you!

I forgot to put your name in there. I was too busy laughing!

It sure is, especially when it come to Keith Richards. His face looks like a thousand miles of bad road!

I wouldn't know about that- I am a stay at home Mom

Woolf?

Q: what did a philosopher say when a minister told him that he and his fellow philosopher are all destined to go to straight to hell?

A: Hell is a journey, not a destination.

Whatever doesnt kill us makes us stronger, and so maybe I should shoot myself in the nuts.

"God is dead"
Neeche

"Neeche is dead"
God

"ok, they're both dead, and one day so will I and everyone else will be too, so whats your point"
sy from beneith his grave

Women! You can't live with them, and you can't tie them up and keep them in that pit under the garage...

You'll catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar. However, if you really want to tempt some flies, a corpse, or a steaming pile of crap is better than honey!

A penny saved is...just about useless...

Too many cooks spoil the broth, and enrage the person that wants to do it himself!

monkeeeeee see, monkeeeeee poo

neechee?

The acorn never falls far from the tree.........somebody finish it! I can't think of anything funny.

۰ The acorn never falls far from the tree...it usually just burns in the same fire right next to it.
۰ The acorn never falls far from the tree...just yet another fact that supports the fascinating acorn-tree maternal relationship.
۰ The acorn never falls far from the tree...but if no one were in the forest to see where it falls, would it fall farther?
۰ The acorn never falls far from the tree...explaining nature's sad method of forcing extinction to come to the tree-fearing squirrels species.

The acorn never falls far from the tree. So if you pick an acorn up in the woods, expect it's mama to come crashing down on your head.

The acorn never falls far from the tree, unless it's a rebellious, individualistic little acorn.

The acorn never falls far from the tree, but if the tree drives it nuts, it can always hop on a bus.

well, however the hell you spell his name.

He's a German philopher from the late 19th and early 20 th century, one of the most well known.

I am not sure exactly how you spell it. Its German, and its really long. I spelled it the way it sounds.

I knew who you meant...you just made him sound like some Japanese entree.

Chaw! Damn Mandolians!

Would you like some saki with your neechee?

Good ones, joalis. Better than NthenSome's! And he claims to be a writer. Pshaw!

I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.

Really? Joalis's aren't that...well, they're not better than mi--...well, ok.

۰ The acorn never falls far from the tree...but sometimes it can be kicked out of the vacinity to impressive distances.

We've done pretty well with just one damn maxim if you ask me...

Yep.

I'd say so!

"You gotta know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em".... but sometimes you might lose a helluva lot of money if you fold too soon in the hand.

That one was for my dad, a big Kenny Rogers fan.

"You have nothing to fear but fear itself... and the day that maxed-out credit card bill arrives in the mailbox."

Speaking from experiance here.

Yikes. Eerily, your dad sounds like he was acquainted with mine. My father wasn't a K Rogers fan so much, but he sure liked that song and its message. (He also quoted your other example often enough.)
My dad was a walking cliché. He couldn't say anything (it seems, thinking back on it) without repeating some standard saying for the situation.
I'm just glad that in my case, it's won't result in like-father-like-son, because I don't want to be any kind of monkey-see-monkey-do. Who wants to talk in cliché all day? That would be a follower, not a leader, and I'd much rather say what I mean and mean what I say. And if I don't have anything nice to say, I won't say anything at --

*reflects on the last few sentences filled with nothing but...*

.......AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I'VE GOT DAD-ITIS!
(haha)

Just a "chip off the old block"!

Or maybe you were the one he knocked off his shoulder (on a dare!).

But, it's just six of one and....

But you know you're not supposed to believe anything you hear and only half of what you see!

only 1/2 of what you see and a quarter from behind your ear because you never repeat a trick if you want to be a good magician since it's all sleight of hand by blowing in your faces with Aces and they turn opposite ends and there is no end to the universe because what would be on the other side of that wall since the Great Wall of China is the only man-made thing visible from space and oh jesus christ don't get me started on space how it's the final frontier and I really haven't seen this episode yet because I don't remember him saying "beam me up Scotty" before you go thinking you can make it in this world how much will your rent be and ok now your car you're going to need a car if you want to get to your job should be in computers because that's where the future I can't change it so why worry about it said Chief Joseph and who the hell decided to bury my heart at wounded knee anyway my eyes are over here on the back of my head blah blah blah blah cliche blah blah blah blah blah blah chicken and wolf and bag of corn should taste the same if it's cream or kernel and so should your bread if you put butter on it while eating speghetti blah blah blah blah must also come down blah blah blah blah to pay taxes and die blah blah blah blah blah blah...
[Inside joke, everyone - I haven't gone completely mad.]

Yes, you have!

Yeah I would. And this time cook it right woman.

Damn Mandolian women!!!

*gives you a withering stare*

The pen is mightier than the sword, so he who lives by the sword should die by the pen.

And he who died by that pen hopefully left his wisdom and talented fencing abilities with the next ambitious SEC General Council member. Haha!

An apple a day keeps the orchards in business.
To errand is human.
A person is known by the company he buys.
People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glass.
Laughter is the best medicine. Don't look at your doctor's bill.
Laughter is the best medicine, so after you puke your guts out, laugh your head off. Then, you will go around gutless, but not that gutless, people will be scared when they see someone walking around without a head. (Sorry, got carried away there)
Actions speak louder than words... no, the pen is mightier than the sword... no...???
If the shoe fits, buy it.
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the fireplace.
A procrastinator's work is never done.

clap clap clap! Well done, I must say!

With such ease, you exemplify how - if you want a job done right, do it...
?...correctly...? No! If you want a job done right, do it the first time! Er...

Coming back to this one. (Good collection there, Jen! 'Nice grouping'!)

What goes up must come down, and what goes around comes around. My theory is that it goes up, goes around, comes around, and then comes down. Unless it goes around, goes up, comes down and then comes around.

Don't count your chickens when they are all running loose in the yard.

He who hesitates is getting directions. He who doesn't hesitate gets lost.

A stitch in time just might be an opening to an anomaly in the space-time continuum.

sorry, this is addicting! I voted this good. I like mincing proverbs, can you tell?

Wow, joalis, you were on a great roll there and I enjoyed every one of
them...especially the one, "A procrastinator's work is never done!"
That was a really good one, wasn't it, NthenSome?

Thanks

Did you see all those good ones that joalis came up with? I think the best one was, "A procrastinator's work is never done!" Don't you think that was the best one, too? I can't believe how good that one was. "A procrastinator's work is never done!" Man, that was a good one, huh, NthenSome.

If you knew NthenSome as well as I know him, you would understand why I'm ribbing him so much. He is the World's Greatest Procrastinator, hands down!

the meek shall inherit the Earth ... the rest of us are heading to the stars

in god we trust ... everyone else pays cash

I'll get back to you in a minute on that one, GinsInn. No, really, I put it on a list of things to do.

Great ones! Really! Love the time-continuum one!

۰ If you want to get someone's attention, whisper. Something dirty.
۰ Don't put all your eggs in one basket of snakes.
۰ Never count your eggs before they're hatched, but it's best to cook them long before. (Does this mean you should never know how many you're cooking?)
۰ Check both ways before devoting to one sexual preference.
۰ If at first you don't succeed, the brat in elementary school was right, loser.
۰ If at first you don't succeed, quickly find someone else to blame so you're not stuck with doing it all over.
۰ If at first you don't succeed, go back to the unemployment line.
۰ If at first you don't succeed, get some Viagra.

If at first you don't succeed, reassess the need!

Ooooo, actually that's wiser than the original!

Probably. It's always worked for me.

Whenever you can get around to it, N. Just let your conscience be your guide!

Let your Conscience be your guide...and your Mary Beth can be your hostess, while your Annabelle will act as your quarters maid.
Good plan! Ha!

Birds of a feather flock together, except the laid back open minded birds that will flock with anyone.

Do unto others as you have been done unto.

eek. I'd have to disagree with that one.

Do others, but only when you're not married.
(Better...?)

yeah that's better. I like the platinum rule. "Do unto others as they would want done to them" it's better than the golden rule. Same idea as my earlier twist on the golden rule. If you are mellow and don't mind something, like your stuff being moved, that doesn't mean its ok to move other peoples stuff. If I were to live by the golden rule, people would get ticked at me a lot. If I needed to use a table, for example, I would just move other peoples stuff out of the way. They might not like that. If I was in a hurry, I'd barge ahead of people through doors and corridors.

I try to live by another self-imposed rule myself, regarding communicating: If it doesn't empower all parties involved, don't have the conversation. (And laughter can be considered an 'empowering' thing of course.)
Sometimes I break that rule, but...well, I also try to live up to the meaning of the word 'noble'...I can't expect to succeed 100%. (Oh, now there's a 'noble' way to approach an 'empowering' cause, huh? HA!)

Hey Dino....More like..'Lifes a dog and then you marry one'

Kandor66
You'll get Dino's attention (and anyone else you want to address here on Survey Central) better this way...
The drop-down box (right above the area where you type a reply), click on the drop-down indicator (black arrow), then select the member name of the person you want to address. (You might have found this out by now, but...just doing my part.)
Selecting a name like this is what I call "looking them in the eye" when you respond. What it does is to call the person's attention directly to your comment, in a number of ways.
And - if you're new - welcome to SC. It's a cool place.

Kandor66 was around for a while but hasn't been by lately. He (male, I think) seemed pretty cool

But that comment (three up from this one) was added just last night, Sunday night).....(??)

Yup, but I meant before that.

Money can't buy happiness, but who needs happiness?

Oh. A fly-by-night member, eh?
Well (in lieu of this survey), "If you can't stand the heat, you shouldn't have sinned so much."

I would fly away. But it isn't night anymore.....