When you're angry how do you calm yourself down?

Rarely do I get that angry. If I do, I usually busy myself (often with work on the computer), or I'll smoke a cigarette, or I'll just talk myself down.
I learned something valuable about situations that make me angry: I can be wrong in those situations, even when I feel I'm the rightest "right" could possibly be. I learned how to practice this notion from an extensive, intense education on "self", which I attended over four years ago, yet I still find myself practicing things from the course.
In the heat of the moment, I concentrate on considering that I'm wrong. Even if I end up feeling like I wasn't wrong, I've lost the anger in the search for how I might be, and usually gained a better perspective in how I should take care of it.

I leave the area (I used to smoke when I left the area - I quit - day 4...)

You should work where I do - they can be impossibly dumb about situations. Even if you admit that you made the mistake, they can sit there and argue about the other ways you might have screwed up without once considering how to prevent this sort of mistake.

I have too options. One for mildly angry. One for apocolypse-inducing angry.

When I'm midly angry I enjoy it and put on some heavy rock to encourage the feeling. Its healthy.

When I'm really dangerously mad then I have to stop and do breathing exercises (or meditate fully) to bring it under reasonable control.

That's pretty nasty. My boss (who has sadly left now) was fantastic. I made a mistake once and went to see her first thing the next morning and confess. The first thing she said to me was 'How did it happen?' then 'How can we prevent this from happening again?' then 'What did you learn from it - is the system faulty, can we improve it to stop other making the same mistake?' And when I was on my way out of her office she said 'Oh, and Dean don't ever spend the night worrying about these things again or I'll slap your wrist '

Sounds like a good administrator - she must have been hired for that job because she was good at it. In my case; The boss is Mr. Macri, the accountant is Mrs. Macri, the estimator is Mr. Macri Jr., the receptionist is Mrs. Macri-Grimaldi, the die-cutter is Mr. Grimaldi, the stripper is Mr. Macri JR JR., get the picture? The parents created a company to make jobs for their not so qualified kids. They are the worst administrators ever!

Most of the time I have the good sense to leave the area; occasionally I am mad enough to lash out, but this is the exception and not the rule.

I smoke, I lash out sometimes, I get stonily silent sometimes, I go for a walk sometimes. Mostly I think I just vent about it to someone.

Leave the area, lash out, or use humor, depending on the situation.

I leave the area, use my computer...I vent to other people.

Running is the best way for me to calm down

I picked the option "I never..." even though I think it unlikely that anyone never gets angry, I'm probably one of the best examples you're likely to come across of someone who very very rarely gets angry. On those rare occasions I will definitely smoke a cigarette. I smoke them all the time anyway, but I'm more likely to if I'm feeling stressed. I'm also likely to go for a walk, get away from the source of stress, clear my head. I would also eventually want to talk it over with a friend. Sometimes when I'm feeling particularly stressed out, the best thing to do is get together with a friend or two, and go out and have a bit of a piss-up, unburden myself and blah blah blah a bit.

Many of these. I'm trying to let anger be less of an issue.

I take a break and then I tackle the situation that has made me angry.

I write my feelings down in my journal or call a friend and indulge them in a long rant

... and I listen to music besides: using computer, walking, meditation, leaving the area, and drinking alcohol.

Alcohol, Walk, Movie, Pray, often in that very order. Good Survey.

I didn't click leave the area, because anger seems to be inside.

I don't get really angry so much as I get annoyed sometimes. As Dino & Nthensome know, I'm VERY ANNOYED at my roommate for the crap he's been pulling with the computer.

I vented to poor Dino and Nthensome last night! Poor guys...they were so kind and helpful!

I have a !/2 bottle of Merlot & reminisce old times when the world was a kinder gentler place in which to live.

Rarely can I convince someone that I'm not exaggerating when I describe my previous boss (and the entire "former regime", as we refer to them these days). The man actually threw chalk, pencils, markers, a movie poster and once a book at me, and he threw other things at other people who worked here. There are some people who still occupy towering positions of certain (ahem) major studios who...the true stories that follow them are just incredulous.
A lot of that is gone from my immediate environment here now, which is nice, but it's still a game in which it's not important who's wrong or who was mistaken - it's more about who can take the responsibility and not get egg on their face when they try to rectify things.
I'm still green in that area (after 10 years!), but I'm lucky enough to be surrounded by those who aren't and who are tired of that game, so I'm being handed all the cheat-sheets and guided through all the shortcuts.
I can relate to what you describe though, I really think I can.

I don't really get angry that often. When I do, I want to be left alone to brood and work things out.

It depends. I take a pill, smoke a cigarette, lash out, go for a walk, call someone on the phone to vent, cry, and/or lay down and relax. It depends on how angry I am and who I'm angry at.

I'm kinda like that too. I sometimes need to be alone with my thoughts & talk myself down. That usually takes hours! Sometimes when I get past a certain point of being angry I find it REALLY difficult to calm my own self down..

One time I was SO angry that 3 double shots of Scotch couldn't even mellow me out. & that's pretty bad.

I SO know what you mean by being "dangerously angry." Once (9 years ago)my husband told me that he was going to Louisiana. I went TOTALLY ballistic & pounced on him(he was laying down on the sofa at the time)grabbed him by the neck & started strangling him. That was scary! I think I was pretty close to killing him that day. Unreal! Sometimes I think that if I don't get my temper under control I might hurt him someday. & he's 6 foot tall & out weighs me by 50 pounds. I guess it's true... people do have BRUT strength.

I checked a few of these, but really, it's been years since i've been angry to an extent i need to calm down.

That is bad. I'd hate to be in the shoes of the person who pissed you off that badly!

Walk it off, read or write.

Are you a Taurus?

What is your line of business - ours is printing, so when someone screws up; it's literally in the proverbial "black and white"!

i don't get angry anymore...just a little disenchanted somethimes

I rarely get angry enough thatb I need to calm myself down. I think it's happened twice that I can remember. Once I cried and cried and cried and then went for a run. The other time I did some yoga and then exercised.

I work in "the biz" - at Paramount Pictures. Like I said, a lot of that went away when we had a big "shake-up" a couple of years ago. The behavior was "old school". One of those who behaved in that manner - the leader of it all really - had just been promoted to Studio President before he was flat out fired at that time, in fact he was escorted from the lot and told to never return. With him, seven other Studio executives were fired the same way, which left a lot of us boss-less - in fact for a small while there was no one between me and the current Studio Prez. Of course, they quickly installed someone there, but they chose the right guy this time. He's the most friggin' professional, intelligent and employee-inspiring boss I've ever had. He's taking our business places, and those of us left deserve to see that happen. I have a great vantage point these days - where, now, I get to be the flow of information and sentiments between the operation and the big-wigs. I've discovered that both sides just need to be heard is all.
In any case, it's a beautiful change to what was once here. I think my boss will end up being president when that other retires (he was hand-picked by Jonathon Dolgen), probably within a couple of years.
"Black and white" - haha!

What about injustice, invalidation, and violation???

Well, like any biz; everyone knows everybody else's, right? I know that Paramount Pictures is part of the film business - that was obvious. (now I understand about the object throwing! - In my trade (and country) no one is allowed to treat employees like that!!!) However, I suspect that you have to be on the inside (as you are) to really understand what you're referring to when you write about the "shake-up" and the "old school". I know to what these things refer to in my trade but I'm sure that the meaning of these expressions is totally different in yours!
AND;
Who is JD? *crouching low, hiding head under the arms* (please excuse my ignorance...)

See how the cliché "black and white" can have such a different meaning for your business compared to mine?

Question: Can a person still really be "black-balled" in your business?
And,
What ever hapened to Hoover's files on these people?

No! I'm a Virgo. Can you believe it??? I'm supposed to be all mellow & stuff. & I usually am! It takes A LOT to get me to that "ballistic wanna kill ya" point.

It must be my Chinese sign that makes me go off the deep end sometimes. I'm a Virgo/Dragon.

But I have like 2 Leo's,a Sagittariu's,a Tauru's,3 Libra's,a Cancer & my moon in Pisces.The mellow signs out number the hot headed ones.Weird.

I know! I really try to keep my temper in check. But let me tell you,if you were married to my husband........that would be reason enough! Talk about being direct opposites?!? He's a Sagittarius!!! That should tell you right there. He has "hoof in mouth disease" big time!

Well..."shake up" (as in "shake down" or "disturbance to activity") and "old school" (as in "old timers' teachings" or "traditional, but outmoded") are pretty common terms, I thought. Then again, I haven't been out in the "real world" in so long...("Real world" as in "opposite the make-believe world of 'the biz'," haha.)
Jonathan Dolgen is the Group Chairman of Viacom Entertainment, which is the company that - as of seven years ago - owns Paramount.
"Black-balled"? Oh contrare. It seems in this business, people are rewarded for being axed from a company. Referring to our own industry, we say, "If you haven't been fired, welcome to the industry." In other words, if you haven't been fired yet, you're a newcomer.
When Disney's CEO, Michael Eisner, was fired from the company in 1997, he was paid $10.65 million, just to punch out one last time. Plus, he still owns nearly one billion dollars worth of Disney stock. When my bosses were all fired for their behavior, their contracts were paid out; in addition, they remained on full benefits and received full pay from March through October of that year; and they were unwisely not asked to sign a no-compete clause, which means they could continue working in the industry even if that meant obtaining a position with a competitor who has the intent of taking business away from us. In these eight exec's situation, they now all work together again. They have created their place in the business by moving our number one competitor of Backlot services from Canada to Los Angeles. Just today, it was announced that the "leader of that pack" was named President of that company's new US company. Grrr.
We feel him everywhere, but - like I said - my new boss is "the crap" (as in "the bomb" as in "a highly competent and skilled individual", haha). It's actually been kind of fun trying to figure out all their next moves. I'm sure they're doing the same for us.

I want to be in pictures. Get me a standard "rich and famous" contract.

It's (accidentally?) astute that you mention that. I don't see any of that anymore. At least not in my life, and I usually see the hidden karmic reasons in others lives too. In one sense, it still exists out there, and it makes me weary working to redirect it, but i'm detached in a way too. I don't get mad when a garlic b-day cake doesn't taste as good as i hoped, i learn to make better cakes. For others, it's sad, they lie and get lied too, etc. etc. For me, I'm surrounded with grace. I go hiking up my my local hill, and hope against probability to find a bike part I need up there, and do so. I choose what sort of new acquaintances and business partners and such will appear in my life. Sometimes it doesn't work out as i planned, like that garlic cake, but I have only myself to blame, and move on to new possibilities instead of getting to down on myself. I do get depressed, not angry, that's possibly because I know the only thing close to injustice is my own ignorance. As far as others, i heard a quote (from a capital punishment context) i like "it's easy to kill a monster, but not a fellow person." I do get angry on rare occasion at my own limitations, it's the weakest link in my chain.
To see karma in great depth makes anger an absurdity.

Just travel down Santa Monica or Sunset Boulevard, or especially Hollyweird Boulevard. All the nice "agents" there have many-a-promise for ya. Just sign on the dotted line...

Dabb's number one! Dabb's number one! Dabb's number one! (Survey Creator.)
Please, a moment of respect as Dabb's National Anthem plays.

She spent a year too timid to make a survey, too.

I think I'm a Cancer, but I'm not certain. I don't really follow astrology. I've had that disease a few times myself!

I tell myself how unhappy I am with my behaviour when I act in anger.

Well, I feel better now... How can I know all of this? It's all internal politics, certainly published but read only by the people in the trade! If I mentioned the name Eric Péladeau, chances are that you wouldn't have clue who I'm talking about but the people in my trade sure do! So there!

So I guess you meant the "shake-up" was when your bosses were fired? They sound like a temperamental bunch. I have found that whenever you deal with any kind of "artists", you often have to put up with some "prima donna" BS! I'm considered an "artist" but I get away with just being eccentric! What do you do there?

biotech or tracking?

What?? Make a whole sentence because I don't understand your question or even where you're coming from... As klear as Kristal!!

A quick (not as quick as I hoped for) search on Éric Péladeau's only churned up a brother of karl and pierre investing in biotech and tracking system companies, a former gov't official, and a flash animator looking for work.

Usually the objects around the house are the think that suffers the most - my room door are just like my punching bag
Or I just have a cigarette.

Ha! You're right! Eric is Pierre-Karl's brother, Pierre is their late father - founder of Quebecor World. He started with a local newspaper and grew to be among the world's biggest printers. He died a few years ago and to tell you the truth, his children have none of his business acumen but they sure are better looking than he was! They've invested in all sorts of things and are not very good at it. Apparently, they lost a lot of money in the tracking systems. Now, they're loosing with the TV station they bought - I think they're just trying to out do Papa!
Anyone in the printing trade in Quebec has, at one time or another, had to deal with Quebecor. I did and I won!

The gerard name came up too. I worked for a gerard who inherited printing money. He invested in art. The walls of his (rather humble) house were lined with the most famous artists, unknown pivotal works too.
Thinking on media fortunes and a canyon I wanted to hike to that was once an estate, it's occurred to me that modern billionaires can't buy the sort of properties once owned by moguls (or they've become more charitable to the public intersts).

There's not much left to buy anymore...

**takes a quick bow & hands the torch to Wickey**

**points to the reply above & tries in vain to correct the spelling of poor Wicksy's name**

"Too late**

BTW you still haven't told me the colors that you wanted.
**does the shoulder shrug thingy**
Here's my e-mail addy again. dabprovin@msn.com

My E-mail is working now. It was on the fritz for a day or two.
I gave my computer an "enema" & it's feeling better now.

Have you got the directions to the Hawaiian Festival yet?? [You do know that it's free right??] Maybe Kristal can help you with the directions if your confused. Other than that the address is on the Aloha World site. You can get the direction by "Mapquest". If not let me know & I'll try to give you the directions okay?

Kristal can you help Nthensome out on the directions to the Ho'olaule'a?? As he lives out there nearer to you,it would be easier for you to direct him than me.

BTW what time are you guys gonna be out there? I'll be leaving my house between 3:00 & 3:30am. Bianca & I should be arriving in the parking area around 4:30 am.(that's if I timed it right) I'll be parking in the same place as last year,& walking into the festival grounds passing through the lake area.

I have this good parking & good seating phobia thing,that's why I ALWAYS leave so early. Anyways,I'll try to be in the same section again this year so look for me.If you'd like to meet somewhere else let me know.

As the festival date draws near I'll e-mail you Bianca's cell phone.....just in case.

So, your sun is in Virgo and your emotions (moon) is in direct opposition in Pisces.

Same as me - Leo sun, Aquarius Moon.

I emailed you in the 20th, so you must have not received it (or didn't recognize the originator). I forwarded you the original, so you should have it now...and thanks!

I cry or talk to someone on the phone. I have taken pills and/or drank in the past- but not anymore.

Yes of course. I'm still working on responding to some email he sent. ..

I sing to myself

I'd rather know how to calm down when I'm stressed.

Many of these. Today I choose to type that Sue is a backstabbing dog!

My co-worker, Sue, is a backstabbing dog!

I've worked with a few people like that in my life time.

Yes, I guess we all have. I was kind of hurt at first, but I don't care. What happened was a bunch of us went out Friday night, and had a blast. Sue had to go into work for a couple hours Saturday, and I did not. Saturday, I was trying to delete a person from my buddy list, and accidentally deleted one of Sue's user names (I had 3 of her user names on my list). So Sunday morning, I tried to put her name back on my list, and she sent me a message to leave her name. She said "Julie, just fudging delete me if you want to so bad." I apologized, and told her it was an accident. She typed back a string of obscenities and threats, and said "Leave me the fudge alone, and don't speak to me at work either!" I figure someone must have told her something about me on Saturday, but she should know by now that I have been a very good friend to her, as she has been to me, and she should give me a chance. I don't care. It doesn't hurt my feelings one bit. If she tries to apologize or explain, I will ignore her. I really don't care.

It sounds as if she's being a tad hypersensitive over an honest mistake. With friends like that, who needs enemies!

I agree! She told me some things about her personal life in confidence that really made me try hard to be a good friend to her. But, on the other hand, she has also told me some things that others told her in confidence that could really hurt them if the stories got out. I wondered when she was going to turn on me, but she seemed so nice, and with all the things that she said were going on in her life, I didn't want to hurt her. Now I really just want to know why she is angry with me, but I guess I will just have to leave her alone. IF she ever says she is sorry, I will just blow it off, and say, "Oh, it was nothing." I don't really have any close friends, so I feel a little sad, but I guess she doesn't like me, anyway.

I had someone as a "friend" like that in high school. She was playing me off someone else who also considered her a "friend." We finally wised up and became the best of friends and avoided her as much as possible. I've always wondered how long she had been doing this and to how many people. As to her liking you...don't you think you'd be better off being lonely than having a so-called friend like her?

I guess you're right...in fact, my mom said the same thing. She said, "Julie, you didn't lose a friend, because she was no friend." I still feel bad, though. It will all work out for the best no matter what.

I'm sure it will, but just be very cautious at work for the time being, okay?

Thanks, I will be. Sue and I used to go to this one voice chat room a lot, and tonight, I decided to go in there and talk with a couple of the guys I know from that chat room. The one guy asked me where she was (he does not know her real name) and I said "I don't know. She doesn't talk to me anymore." He wouldn't believe me at first, and he said she always spoke highly of me, and said we were best buds, etc. I said "I have no reason to lie about her, or talk badly about her to you. I just said she doesn't want to talk to me." He said he was going to tell her I was in chat, and ask her about it. I said "Go ahead. I do not care." He said that he wouldn't tell me what she said about me. I said I didn't care what she said about me. He told me she was all upset when I had my second stroke (June 12). I said that was nice to hear, but she doesn't want to be friends with me now. He didn't seem to believe me, thought Sue and I were working together to play a joke on him. I wish...

This guy seem to be well-intentioned, but I'd be really cautious with him. You don't really know him beyond the chat room environment and don't know for certain as to whether or not he's up to something.

**squeezes Dino till he turns blue in the face**

I just knew we had a lot more in common than just being SC buddies!

Luv ya babe!!

I got the e-mail.**puzzled look on her face** It was my E-mail.It was stopped up.But it's working fine now.

Thanks Kristal!

Sue and I are great buddies-she was joking with me and I took it the wrong way-she talked to him last night and it is all cleared up. He is a good chat buddy to both of us.

Okay...but frankly anyone who talked to me in that manner would give me doubts. I wouldn't call speaking to another person that is supposed to be a friend in that way a friend myself, but I'll keep my nose out of it. Still, be cautious PLEASE!

Yeah, she used the enema bag that came in the box she used to send me my name to give her computer an enema!

Ok, ew! (haha)

For along time I cut myself to relieve all the anger and other tormenting feelings inside It's a problem I'm still dealing with.

Okay there girlie! You need to back off now. Official SC Health and Safety Ruling.

((HUG)) Good luck with that!

Sue and this other guy were just fudging around...and hey, I said stuff about her, too, so it's all good.

OIC

It was a misunderstanding,,,over and done with now.

Hokay!

You always make my day Dino!

i am prescribed to medicine but it does not work :( this is a great survey!

I noticed kill someone isn't on there so i chose lash out. I would have thought the idea of strangling people would be a more appealing choice than say crying.

poo is a viable source of heating and it gives off a wonderful aroma. tip #1

I usually feel better when I hit something although it's not people, mostly pillows and walls. But that just works for me.

Smoking calms me and chills me out.

Sure, but what if you left your crack at home and you're at work? (Just kidding.)

#2 T'is true.

I write all my thoughts down.