Lately I have been reasearching, studying and thinking about prostitution, pornagraphy and stripping and their effects on women and children. You could say I am "obsessed." Someday I want to help women who have been prostituted.

Losing my job. The company is in trouble.
Am I a sad individual who has no prospects of ever finding a decent social circle now I've moved to London. (or a boyf)

I've been worrying about this exam I'm studying for.

Why can't emotions be controlled like... common sense and deductive reasoning! I know what I know, why do I have to have all these intrusive FEELINGS!

Yeah, wishing I could win a lotta money on the Internet, like from playing a free lotto or something, so I could pay off my three credit cards and a dentist bill.

How many more dieting days are left. How light being mischievous makes me feel. How much adults take for granted of children. How cool vintage Bob Marley reggae is and will always be. How much money it would take to buy my own popcorn machine (how many more dieting days are left?). How if I had my own popcorn machine, I would put other candies in with the kernels and maybe cellophane toys. How much I envy those who haven't read "Bless the Beasts and Children" yet. And other stuff. I also have Paulina Rubio stuck in my head. I wish you guys could have met her when she was this tawdry, ranchera-belting dirty little Mexican singer and not some über-glossified Shakira stand-in...

Right now, this moment: I'm hungry and the food isnt done

Emotions can be tamed by common sense and reasoning.

Krishna & what my cat is doing now.

Nothing really, life has been pretty smooth lately.

sex...my new job and the residents there....my child...my SO...my friends who are far away.....car payments....monkeeeeees...my weight.....my mum.....dentist appointment....humanity...spirituality.....freedom......love......

Great. Just when I finally got these things off my mind.
*goes to bed, tries to rest*

So there's this guy... We'll call him *David*... We spent a lot of time together and developed quite a "realationship". I really started to like him... We didn't talk all week (which is sorta wierd) and I saw him tonight. Things we're very wierd... we didn't even hug. Ah- Who cares... it's just on my mind and you asked.

My house, my wife, my family, the army. Politics and paying the bills. Quiet peace and restrained anger.

If the US somehow win the World Cup (wishful thinking), I am getting a MoHawk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whats wrong with the cars? Got to fix the cars! Need to look for new cars! what a pain to buy new cars! Dont want to spend the money! Will my work go bankrupt? NEED TO CLEAN THE HOUSE!! argggg no time no time where does it all go? SO TIRED!!! no time

Will I raise my children well? Can I protect them from the world? Will they hate me when they are older? Will I be packed in time to move at the end of the month? Will I become an internet junkie when I get it (finally) at home? How long will my mother live? Will I ever kick the booze and why do I feel so guilty every drink I take? Will I ever have enough money to send my kids to university should they choose to go? What will I do with my cats should they die? Will I ever be loved? Will I ever get married? Will I ever want to?

getting out of this house and getting our own place away from 700 decibles

Revision. Panic. Fear. Revision. Panic. Fear. Revision. Panic. Fear. Go England!!! Revision. Panic. Fear. Revision. Panic. Fear. Revision. Panic. Fear. Survey Central!!! Revision. Panic. Fear. Revision. Panic. Fear. Revision. Panic. Fear. What's for dinner??? Revision. Panic. Fear. Revision. Panic. Fear. Revision. Panic. Fear. The West Wing!!! Revision. Panic. Fear. Revision. Panic. Fear. Revision. Panic. Fear. It'll all be over soon........ Revision. Panic. Fear. Revision. Panic. Fear. Revision. Panic. Fear.

Freedom and the prospect of it, is it all it is cracked up to be? Or is it just another sort of cage?

The next door neighbor's kid. She is annoying. I wish they would move!!

There are many things going on in my life right now, but at this very moment this is what I'm wondering:
Would my cats be happier if I just gave up and let them claw the couch? Or would they be just as happy as they are now and become unruly on top of it?

My mind is cluttered at the moment. I am constantly thinking and worrying. About my mom, my son, my SO, being a good mother, my soon-to-be step-son's problems, life in general, planning my wedding, wondering if I should get that new car I've been wanting, wondering why the hell Dominic is working late AGAIN. Is he cheating or am I'm too insecure? Oh, I could go on for days, but I'll stop there.

I've wondered about where I'll be in 10 years time. I worry about my father who I believe may have early onset dementia. Like I said in the 'definite answers' survey, I worry about what I'm capable of doing when pushed to my limits. I wonder about how to put the fantastic world I have in my head onto paper so that other people migt be able to enjoy it too. But what I think about more than anything is what other people, particularly men, think about.

Nyargh! Ha?! Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!! *frantic bulging eyes*

what the hell direction is the US government dragging us??

Perhaps "hell direction" sums it up pretty well Who can say where they're headed? They're steaming back into international waters n a big way at the moment - I so don't want them getting involved in Kashmir, they should leave that to Putin and China!

But hey, when the US government drags the US people, it also drags the UK with it too - so wherever you're headed, I'm on the boat with you!

The fact that I quit my new job today because it was killing me...and the fact that I'm ok. I'm ok. I'm ok.
I go back to work with Sue tomorrow. I'm still looking for something full time closer to home. The sun is shining. My body feels like I was hit by a truck. But tomorrow will be better. My body will heal. I lost 13 pounds in two weeks and all my clothes fit nicely again. I am not looking back. Move forward...move forward.....heal...grow....feel.....dance...play...love.....

Where the heck is my Ginsu Knives that I ordered a few days ago???

**thumbs through the want ads to find Dino a new job in the U.S.**

Don't stress babe! I'm sure things will work out for you. As resourceful as you are?? I wouldn't worry too much. There are other companys out there. & with your potential?? Skys the limit!

**cybers you a macadamia nut cookie till the food is ready**

Why a Mohawk?? What's the significance of that?? **scratches her head**

I know exactly what you mean ....... where DOES all the time go anyways?? When I was younger it seemed like there was an abundance of it. Now???? There isn't enough time in the day to do everything that I want to. Order pizza!!!!! Yay now I have an extra 40 minutes right there.

Reese's Pieces. I just ate the last of lion's. They're psy-psy-psy-psychoactive!

no money no pizza for us we have a house though and 2 new cars yay!!! ***jumps for joy***

hmmmm, is that the "slow boat to china"?

**jumps for joy right along side of you** Your so lucky!

I need a new car myself. My car was in the shop for 3 days,when I got it back today & it was leaking transmission oil BIG TIME! I refused to drive it back to where it came from,because it was starting to lose power. So David ended up calling them back & they had to come & get it with a tow truck. They brought it back a couple hours ago,tho I haven't checked it out yet. I'm kinda spooked about it now.

Did you mean to reply to someone else?

Oh! You mean the cybering of the macadamia nut cookie?? No! That was for you. I thought that while you waited for your meal to be done cooking I felt that the cookie should tide you over till then.

why was your car in the shop? We have our truck in the shop right now but I dont think they have even looked at it yet they have had it for 3 days. We didnt get new cars you know they are new to us. We got some really good deals though so I am not complaining. Maybe now that all the car shopping and fixing and worrying is done with I can clean the house. Wow we are pigs what a dump lol

The oil was leaking & there's this constant creaking & knocking on the back end of the car,right next to the rear passenger seat. It has to go back in there again in a few days to get the creaking/knocking fixed. Seems like everytime we send it into (a) shop to get fixed, it comes out worse than it was before we took it in. This car is only 10 years old.It shouldn't be making all these kinds of noises......should it??? I'm so pissed! I'm SO tired of getting burned by all these mechanics! This is the second time this year it's been in the shop. & it's only June! This Friday when we take it back for the creaking it'll be 3 times this year.

I dont know about the leaking but the creaking/knocking sounds like a bad strut take it to a tire place that you trust and ask them how much for a quick peek. And never tell them what you think is wrong. Make them show you what is bad/wrong and why. and always insist that u get the old part back.

Stuff.

oh. I forgot I had typed that. Yay! Yummy.

some new guy in the US team (Mathis is think) has a MoHawk.

actually, the US team is probably the most diverse team in the league. (as far as hairstyles, racial composition, etc is conserned)

Oh! Really??? Thanks ASB.I wasn't sure what the heck that noise was. But wait a minute....we just had another dude put some new struts on the car only 5 months ago. Infact,it wasn't till after he did that,that the car started making all that noise,not too long afterwards. But I don't want to take it back to that guy cause everytime we've taken it to him, something else would go wrong. & to think we trusted him.He's a little old man retired from the navy.

I guess I had better get David to have Midas,Pep Boys or Percision look at it........again. I's getting where I can't trust any mechcanics anymore. You seem so knowlegdeable in cars & it's problems. How cool! I don't even know how to change a tire. But I guess I would learn how pretty quick if I ever had one. Thanks Again for all your help, I really appreciate it! Honestly!! (((HUGS)))

**cybers you another cookie for good measure**

**imagines southernyankee with a mohawk cut dyed red white & blue**

Not bad!!! Not bad at all!

hey no problem i don't trust mechanics generally either so I made myself knowledgable

I need to do that too! Thanks again for the tips!

you are more than welcome

Hows the new house coming along? Plant flowers & veggies yet?

I planted some Hostas that ASBT's mom gave me. I also have some peppers that are sitting outside in pots that I need to get in the ground. I need serious weed control. There are so many right now I can't handle them. I havent enough time to keep them in check. Any tips?

.. but you never seen me the way I look right now.

Somehow you imagine me in a mohawk.

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Exams. Exams. Exams. The season Finale of the Gilmore Girls. Exams. Dinner, and, exams.

Too much right now.

Panic.

Ok, let's have it. What's panicking you? We can't have you going around looking like this all day, so fess up...

now what? now what?
Back to my old job, happily but ....I feel uneasy. I need to do something more, reach outside my comfort zone. I want to write.

Exams I have two tomorrow, two on Wednesday, one on Thursday, two the following Monday, three that Wednesday and one that Thursday. These are the exams that will determine whether I get the grades that I was offered by my first-choice university. After having to be interviewed by them (very scary) I don't want to lose my place by not getting teh grades. And I haven't done enough revision. I've already done 10 exams and I have 11 left to do - and apart from the two tomorrow I haven't revised for any of the ones that are coming properly. Including three very, very difficult Chemistry exams. Agh!!!!!!

Spike

*kicks Biggles out of SC*
<--- Biggles is in the other room, everyone. Don't disturb unless you're bringing in more coffee or to sprinkle water on her face.

Oi you! I was using SC for my occasional breaks in revision. You know along the lines of 5 hours revision, half an hour on SC. Please don't take away my only joy in life!!! *weeps*

And I'm having a couple of hours off now because I did 3 hours of Biology exams this morning and I'm knackered. I'm getting down to the Chemistry revision at about 4:30pm because I need a chance to unwind a bit.

And I don't even like coffee

Ok, forget the coffee, and I suppose you're entitled to the occasional mind-relief. Sure, ok.

...


. NOW GET BACK IN THERE, YOUNG LADY!

I've spent all day today (Tuesday) doing Chemistry revision for my exam tomorrow. It's now almost 9:30pm and I'm stopping for a bit! Is that okay with you?

You can grow peppers & tomatoes in containers. I have some on my patio. We have a yard but I don't dare dig it up.Everything is on the border of the lawn.Like the fruit trees,grapes & Hawaiian white gingers.Everything else is in containers. BIG containers.

As for weed control....... geeze! It kinda goes with the territory of gardening in the ground. Hummmmm! They say to put down that black plastic paper. That should keep part of it down,especially around the veggies. Other than that you may have to spray. Personally I hate using any sort of insecticide what so ever. It just doesn't sit right with me. I don't like the thought of feeding my family (potentially) tainted veggies. I don't know that's just me tho.

You know what?? Let me go through all of my veggie books & get back to you on that. Say! I still have your "House Warming" gift sitting in my hallway waiting to be sent. Would you like me to send it to your place of employment?? Let me know. I also have some excellent veggie catalogs that I'd love to pass along to you.I could help you on some gardening techniques. I have soooooooooo many gardening mags & catalogs.You'd love it!

E-me dabprovin@msn.com if you want me to send the gift to your employment or your new snail addy. Aloha Cleo

Okay then! Post your picture here so we can see what you REALLY look like. Come on! You got a scanner?? If you do, post it.

My picture is already on here.Like so many other SC users.

No problem. You seem to have the discipline thing in place, so I'll back off now.

Revision doesn't work anyway. *kicks hair over crossly* I failed Chemistry today It was supposed to be the first Chemistry exam that I was going to be able to do........

Oooh.
Really sorry to hear that. Do you have a way to get a make-up?

1) Yes, my dad has a scaner. Maybe I could use his.
2) NO, I don't have any *good* recent pictures of myself, but I might take a few soon.

3) I have never scaned any pictures or used any programs involving scanners, but I am sure I can learn.

4) To post pictures, don't you have to become a paying member??

Well, thats 1 out of 4 and the 3 are maybes.
I'll try to work something out.

Scanning was one of the MOST difficult thing that I ever had to master. Then when I finally got it down pack,my computer up & died on me. Back in March my husband got us a NEW puter from Office Depot. He's Irish/Italian & he's always been told that he has the Irish gift of gab. & he does he know how to use it.....too! Got us a new puter didn't he?? The guy is good!

Anyways it doesn't have to be a recent picture of you.However,if you want to wait till you get a BETTER one,by all means....do. But,please don't take to long. (WE).......& I speak for all the lookie loos,here at SC, we want to know what you look like.Well.........anyways I do!

As for your 4th question....No! You don't have to be a member here at SC.You can post anytime. Why?? Are you not a member yet?? It took me around 6 months to finally become a member. I felt kinda guilty using Bills site & not paying to come here & play with ALL my SC buddies.& it was only a few bucks,so I said ,"Awww what the heck?" Plus all those dang commercials! Argh!!! I hated it! It was SO annoying. But anyway that's just MY feelings on it.

A make-up? My teacher said that it was a really, really hard exam and that he couldn't do one of the questions at all either so that's something. If everyone in the country did really badly then the grade boundaries will be lowered. There's no way they'll be lowered enough for me to get an A, but I'd given up on that anyway, but I could still just scrape a B.

Today I messed up my last Biology exam. It wasn't even that hard, just my mind wasn't in it. We had to write an essay relating the structure of cells to their function and I went for breadth so it had no real depth. I need two grade As and a B to go to Oxford and I thought I could get the two As in Sociology and Biology. Now I'm going to have to go all out to get an A in Politics and I'm not sure if I can..........

Sorry for waffling on, I just got home and I'm feeling a bit low. I should think about something else

"Waffling"? No, not at all.
I'm starting to realize that you're really at a point in your life that just may define where you go and what you do for the next long period ahead. Certainly something to be taken seriously.
Is it possible for you to still pull it off, you think? If so, despair can visit later - maybe the next time you're the only one around to clean the bathroom, or when you burn your next piece of toast...not now! Take a walk, clear your mind, talk to some SC friends, laugh for a little while. Get yourself into a good mood.
You really are [ <---erased "seem" ] a bright person - I think probably one of the brightest in this little society here. Realize the choice you have in the matter is now (but only now, in this small window of time). Then smile about the fact that you have a choice.
Again...bidding you success. Go get 'em, Biggles.

Thankyou, you really cheered me up

So when are you going to post your ???

Scroll back 5 replies....please.

I am going to try.

Where are the pictures posted?

Oh, I never felt guilt about using SC for free. The ads do piss me off, but I got used to them by now, and I know some of the tricks to avoid them.

Also, because I have to put up with the ads, the more people have to see them, the more $$ these companies have to pay Bill for being able to advertize, so in therory, I am allready paid for, and the fact that these ads arent going to make me purchase their items, wells thats between them and me (none of Bill's concern) In theory he's a mediator between me and the ad companies.

Under "post your picture" survey.Also through out the site there are a number of SC users pictures posted also. Mine is in a site that Kristal_Rose posted one of us last year,when she & I attended a Hawaiian festival. Go to SEARCH & ask the question "Post your picture" & click survey.

Ohhhhhh I see.

That today is the last day of my vacation and I now have to wait a WHOLE YEAR until my next vacation!

Why don't women just want sex for fun? Guys want their dicks done all the time. Where are the hot females who just want a dick? Look at craigslist.org under casual encounters. Where are the girls? Any replies I get are from other guys wanting to suck on me. How the hell can I get a girl to suck on me other than paying for it? Very important life issue.

-school is starting
-did I really waste my money for black hair dye and when should I do it
-my bra is itching me
-I am really hungry, but I'm really lazy to go and make something

Because girls have fun looking for a father for their hypothetical babies!
Biology works like that tough I suppose the guys I like myself would make odd fathers.But I would make an odd mother too.

Is this search for a future babie's father something done consciously or is it unconscious? I've never heard of a female here in the U.S. shopping guys like this. I think females here to a certain extent look to be married, but I don't see much more than that. Females here aren't over-anxious to have babies as much as in the past.

Unconscious.I don't mean that every girl just fancies potential fathers.Only that females are biologically inclined to be attracted by guys that would make good fathers.They don't even know it.I don't want a child.I don't need to love my partners for a life or even for a second.But I need someone I could learn to love.I'm attracted by men similar to my father,and that's because if it worked once,it could work twice as a strategy for surviving.
The whole courting thing,gifts and dinners the women love so much is some kind of test to see if you're the right one.Maybe for just a night,but women search for a right one,not just one.

empty right now

Hey wait thats to personal I hardly even know all of you