It varies, depending on the situation I like to think about people and my opinions. I also like to think of stories and characters.

Today: Kc, Kp, partial pressure, total pressure, mole fractions, ethanoic acid, ethyl ethanoate, ethanol, H2O, calculator, square brackets, round brackets.

I have to kick out everything else when I revise. To the point where I forget my name and address and can be found wandering the streets at night reciting chemical equations.


Okay, seriously: What do I think about most of the time? Who I am or could be, school, schoolwork, friends, family, SC ( ), the news, the future - especially my future, daydreams (Claire gets straight As at A-level, Claire becomes best science graduate from Oxford ever, Claire lives in past when there were no A-level exams and she didn't have to do them, Claire becomes world-renowned poet, Claire gets to meet SC people, Claire goes to find life on Mars). I think about how much I love these things, how they distress me or upset me, how they worry me, how to deal with them. I wonder how to turn down advances without hurting feelings, how to fit in all of my revision, how to not break down in tears (again) as I learn about meiosis.

What do I imagine? A whole host of things. Some of them almost unimaginable If there is such a thing.

What questions do I have? A lot! But if I haven't put them into words yet, I'm not really able to do that here and now.

Unspoken fears. That I'll fail. I mean, I *do* say that, but when I speak the words I don't believe them, not really. But inside, it does frighten me. That I won't understand myself before it's too late. That I'll never know myself. That I'll hurt someone immensely without ever intending it. That I'm capable of worse things than I believe I am. That I'm capable of better things than I believe I am. That one day my mum will die. That one day I'll be old. That one day I may be lonely or bitter or angry with no way to escape that. That I'll pursue one thing and ignore all the rest. That I'll forget to look outside. That someone might hate me. That someone that I love may do something terrible. War. Misery. Friendlessness.

The most beautiful thing: memories. Even the bitter ones have a certain sweetness. Possibilities - the future could be anything.

The most terrible: possibilities. Things that I never intend to do, but could.

My mind is so many more things than I can ever spew out onto a page. I don't know it myself yet, I may never do. It will continue to surprise me, sadden me, understand me as long as I go on living. I hope.



Whoops, it looks like I waffled on rather a lot there!

I am constantly thinking of owning my own house in a certain area with sufficient room and sun for growing things, and I think of the plants I would like to get. I also worry about money and bills constantly because I have a low-paying temp job and was unemployed for a long time, and creditors are huffing and puffing round my door. I am usually trying to think positive things and when I find myself imagining something really bad, I make myself stop.

I think about what I am doing at the moment, what I plan to do in the future, and experiences I have had in the past. I imagine a lot of different things. There are a number of questions I have not yet put into words. The most beautiful thing in my mind is an image of the ocean. The most terrible thing in my mind right now is worry. I worry too much. I would describe my mind as intelligent and clear thinking, yet my mind is also cluttered up with fears and worry. For instance, I was in a chat room last night. One of my friends from work was in the chat room, too. So I asked her what she was up to. I know that a guy she met online is visiting her for the weekend. She said, "You don't want to know." It was a voice chat room, and she was laughint hysterically. I asked her if she was high. She said, "Not yet quite, but about to reach the next level." I said (jokingly) I would be right over. She said, "Yeah, right, Jules, like you even smoke!" I said"Shut up, I do too!" (even though I don't). Then we all started talking about something else. Then, all night, I was thinking "Now those strangers in the chat room think I am a dog." and "Why did Sue borrow ten bucks from me last week. She probably does drugs all the time and I paid for her lunch. I am so stupid...blah, blah, blah." Then, I wondered why I was thinking so damn much about something so trivial. My mind is mixed up that way at times.

worry...and worrying about banishing worry.....fear and fearing I'll never overcome fear to reach my full potential....sex....sex....sex...sex......sex....sex...sex.......frustration at others for making me care what they think of me.....and causing me to second guess myself......feel the fear and do it anyway......let go let go let go of making things and situations so important mandy....just let things be..and you'll manifest what your heart truly desires....ride with it fly with it stop struggling to control every situation.......

Mallory is the most beautiful thing in there.......followed by my secret love for all mankind.....don't tell don't tell....pretend it slaughtered..... that hope that awe and complete connection you feel with everyone....look strong....act strong.....set a good example for Mallory...am I a good mom...am I failing...am I doing it right....will she be ok....will she hate me like I hate my mother....

and the movie of my future plays again and again in technicolor...because I am making it so....by believing it so.......

Sue is not in my mind except when she is not at my side. She causes me no worry...I have no fear based anything when it comes to her....she gives me security and grounds me when the voices won't stop.....and holds me tight......I am going to make her proud......

Kinda mixed! Many thought running through it right now
1) The up & coming Balloon & Wine Festival with some of the SC buddys
2) How I should really start looking for another job
3) If my brother is going to REALLY come & visit me this weekend
4) What's up with the on going pain in my left arm
5) How I should get started on the constrcution of that new green house
6) Should I build my cats another cat house. 3 story's high this time
7) When I should defrag my computer
8) Do I feel like creating another survey
9) What should I be for Halloween this year
10) I hope I still have time to mail in the C.Card payment
11) Will Biggles receive that package this time
12) How I need to box up that name.....cuteasabutton
13) The grout in the kitchen needs cleaning
14) The Hawaiian Festival in July with Kristal & maybe some other SC buddys....hopefully
15) I need to feed my cats & water my plants now......
16) How I should change my eating habits.....

Geeze! Oh my gosh, the list goes on & on. Not enough time or space to list them all here.

I better get my @$$ in gear & get off this computer before I fall behind in all this stuff in this mind of mine.

I would describe my mind as...rather empty, actually.

Spell-binding, shocking, quiet, coquettish... . It's the lush, untouched, untangible Blue, which I live more intensely than the Quest I've set out on paper. It's words that I love and resound in my head; it's words that have yet to be. It's dreams. It's also the little funny day-to-day stuff like laughing hysterically with my girlfriends about some dumb 80's show called "Roxana Banana" about this chimp that had this magic headband that could summon objects...it's a wonderful and dangerous place to live.

Weary, calm, dazzling, indecisive, loving, limbo. The burden of undetermined responsibility. Trying to find what still means anything and what is a frivolous waste of my time, or if a frivolous waste of my time is actually what I should do.
Some people require dark events in their personal life to get their hands in right action; i seem to need the alignment of my planet to collapse in darkness to inspire praying us into proper course.
I wish I could achieve so much more. Everyone deserves paradise, yet I'm struggling to make my own physical life do more than survive. Whethar the planet is alive in love, or asleep in subjugation is my concern. Anything I do is a seed for the universe. Helping a neighbor, buying an ice-cream, planning a home - will all steer how the world I see and hear about operates, so I have to operate from love or choose quite carefully with the interests of mankind in all my thoughts and actions.

Stuff. I spend a lot of time coming up with ideas for my music. I like to reminisce. I have little fantasy daydreams. I have all kinds of ways of amusing myself in my head. I'm never bored. I don't have any unspoken fears. I speak my fears. It gives them less power. I don't know what the most beautiful thing in my mind is. The most terrible is the philosophy of pure evil which would destroy lesser beings just by thinking it! My mind is one of my favourite toys.

It's full of stars!

I think about Krishna & the Internet.

I dont really feel like sharing

I worry a lot. I'm worried about my Mom. She's not expected to live until Christmas. It's hard to think about anything except her. I think about what it'll be like without her around. I also worry about how my Dad's going to take it. I'm in the middle of planning my wedding. We've changed the date AGAIN. We're now getting married on August 3rd. So, I'm freaking out about not having everything done in time. I think about my son all the time. And, of course, I think about Dominic (the love of my life) constantly. I think about work related things a lot. I think somebody is stealing from the company and I can't figure out who. I've got to chill out with all my worrying. I'm already getting gray hair and I'm only 20 years old. Okay, that's enough info for you for one day.

You really don't wanna know!

I wandered through the landscape of my mind
And there I found
No logical thought.

read my answers and one could possibly figure it out

I can't begin to touch upon an answer to that question. If I ever write a book about it, I'll let you know.

possibilities spread out before me like skeins from a loom. I try to pick the threads which will lead to good futures. The most beautiful thing in there is the structure of things to come; the most terrible is the things that have passed.

or, it's a small child behind a dirty window, not sure whether the dirt is on the inside or outside of the window.

or it's full of baked goods, terrible in their beauty.

or, it's elephants all the way down.

my mind's occupied by work, family, and maintaining a good balance between the two.

Just stuff.
I'm not telling.

Depends on the day- Right now, everything is good, I'm trying to get some long overdue work done.Later I have to trim the wings on all my birds I don't like to do it but I have no choice. I need to put on the ceiling fan and they can't fly around when it's on.They get so sad and mad at me when I do, but it can't be helped. Questions in there? I wonder what REALLY happens when we die? When I was young, I didn't believe there was anything after this; then, my brother died and a couple of things happened to change my mind. What really capped it was when my mother had an N.D.E. She is one of those no-nonsense,"don't be ridiculous" types, and the last one you'd expect to hear that from.Still....What's the worst thing?Maybe there is nothing else (I'll never see my brother again) Maybe somebody up there is 'keeping score' and decides that I need to be punished because I'm not perfect.(SIGH)I'm scared that if we don't all clean up our act on this planet there won't be anything left for my grandkids. (e.g.wars, pollution)

It's full of cobwebs right now. I should really do some spring cleaning!

A battle.
Confidence vs. doubt
Assurance vs. anxiety
Happy vs. sad
Forgiveness vs. anger

Kaos. But in an extremely well organized manner.

I don't have enough space or knowledge of the English language to answer to this survey.

I wandered through the landscape of my mind
And there I found
A few twigs and a weird lookin rock

You wouldnt understand

You know those birthday candles that relight when you blow them out?... can I have one?

What's it like in those panties of yours?

wet and hot

It's scary in here. It never rests. I don't think I'll share it with you, it may scare you too much.