User	Comment
lisashea	posted 22-Oct-1998 9:21am   I think it's a fine thing but not for "venting space" reasons. I talk to my SO, and to all past SOs, about our behavior and what we like and what can be better. In that context I talk to friends about what we are doing just as I like to talk to them about how they are doing. It's no different to me to talk about interpersonal relationships, then to talk about "how I am doing with my parents" or other such things.
dpolicar	posted 22-Oct-1998 10:05am   It's a fine thing, although revealing things conveyed to you in privacy is not. I'm cautious about it, though... it's too easy to give a third party a totally skewed perspective on your relationship, which is both unfair to your partner and may come back to bite you in the ass later. I find it's a useful exercise to think about what I'd say to third parties... if it's something I think I *can't* say to my partner, that's a problem that needs work.
Jody	posted 22-Oct-1998 10:25am   I'd prefer to do it, and prefer Pete do it, with close, trusted friends. I do believe sharing certain problems can give me insight and help me resolve problems - a trusted friend can give good counsel, and caring as well.
Mimi	posted 22-Oct-1998 11:31am   I try to stay away from the 'male bashing.' I have a wonderful husband & if I am complimentary of him around some of my acquaintances they scoff at me as if I were lying about him. I think it is very sad that there are such miserable relationships out there that they think no one else could possibly have a good marriage. If the topics get particularly vicious & I feel the need to defend men I say something like "It sure is a good thing that most of them aren't like your husband, or son, or father or whomever" they are bashing at the moment. If I discuss my relationship, it is only positive. I see no reason to demean my husband in the eyes of others, nor do I want to hear about the low-life they are married to. Get rid of him/her if they are such problems that you feel the need to run around grousing about them.
jjg	posted 22-Oct-1998 12:54pm   It's not something I do. I can understand why people do it, and feel that that is healthy for them. It simply is not something that I do.
lizzie	posted 22-Oct-1998 1:41pm   I think a lot of it depends on the subject. I dog in general about my fiance to my friends, but certain issues I reserve for conversations with one or two very close friends. My fiance does the same, and there have been times when he's told people things and I wish he had not spoken of those things, but I think we've worked out the lines now after 4 years of being together.
kadai	posted 22-Oct-1998 2:19pm   It's helpful to me to talk through my relationships because I tend to get narrowly focused and obsessive. Usually it takes someone else pointing this out to give me some much needed perspective.
bill	posted 23-Oct-1998 8:36am   I do it rarely, but with any of a small group of close friends. I think it's fine for my partner to do it if she wants to. * I agree with Jen. Talking directly always works best, it can seem hard to do though - especially if you're mad or hurt - but every time we've done this it's made everything better.
jettles	posted 23-Oct-1998 9:25am   i think it is good to have someone to talk to whether it be friend or therapist or etc. i generally don't talk to anyone about the sexual aspect of our relationship(except my partner) because i feel that is private.
hunter	posted 23-Oct-1998 2:59pm   I tend to be a very open person and to talk about my relationships pretty widely. I have learned to be sure to mention the good stuff as much or more than the bad stuff, to keep my friends from becoming biased against my partners. It's important to me to check my reality with other people, particularly with my best friend, who hears pretty much everything about my relationships. A couple of guys I've been with have been extremely perturbed by the idea that their relationship behavior was a subject of discussion. My current sweetie doesn't care at all, he thinks it's kind of cute, I think. But then, his behavior is so exemplary that he knows I'm mainly just gushing, not complaining. There have been times, however, when he's hit one of my big red buttons and I have felt the need to call someone who's not him and vent for a bit, so as to mitigate the level of irrational anger he has to deal with. (TIP: Don't *ever* stand me up for dinner...the result is not pleasant.)
kirst	posted 26-Oct-1998 2:41am   It depends what you're discussing and who you're discussing it with.
reality	posted 26-Oct-1998 5:17pm   there are certain issue that I feel should be between you and your partner, some that could possibly be addressed between you and a close confidant, and some that can be discussed with most any friend.
anonymous	posted 26-Oct-1998 5:25pm   I think its okay to tell your friends brief things about your realationships, but no details. For example, if my boyfriend told his friends some of the things we might do in private, I would be very upset with him. Its really no one elses business and some people can get the wrong idea. One time, a boy spread rumors about how he had had sex with my friend, which was so untrue. All they had done was kiss. It gave her a very negative reputation which was undeserved. If a guy did that to me, I would dump him pronto. If they had done that, telling it would be inapprorpiate even if it was true. But to LIE about that, was something very bad.
Sybal	posted 1-Nov-1998 10:53am   this is too broad of a question, talk to people about what? It could be anything from just saying you had a boyfriend to a stranger on the street, to sitting down with coworkers and describing in intimate detail exactly how you had sex the night before. Reword, and get back to me.
Resy	posted 2-Nov-1998 5:36pm   Considering our relationship is very good, talking about it with others only reinforces that.

 
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