I think it's possible to have options on surveys

yes of course it's possible for women to have male friends. Even given your suggestion that men just want sex, not all men want to have sex with women.

I think the main problems between men and women are a lack of empathy and people not behaving the way other people who want to have sex with them want them to behave.

All my GOOD male friends are all gay.The rest were always trying to get into my pants.

I am friends with women who I would never have sex with, mainly because I am not attracted to them sexually. I do have some women friends that make me feel uncomfortable when I catch them looking at my crotch or arse. I don't think it's just men who use friends for sex. Women do it too.

This question should have been written as one question. You don't start a sentence with "Or". Bad SC.

Only if the man is not at all attracted to the woman.

I should have clarified in the question. Of course, I wasn't referring to gay men.

Ehhhh.... welll... I don't like your wording, however... honestly...

I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that sexuality factors into a male/female 'friendship' more than either party is willing to admit. Not ALWAYS, but very often. Sometimes it is ignored through humor, sometimes it is made more subtle, however... sexual attraction is a factor, and if it isn't, it probably was.

Of course it is - I have lots of male friends

*hopes her male friends aren't just standing around waiting to sleep with her*

No, I really can't believe they're my friends for that reason! They're just my mates

yes, it's possible. men are always standing by waiting for a chance of sex, but not necessarily with a woman.

I find the premise of this survey unreasonable. Women enjoy sex as well, but I don't think that all of my female friends are just hanging around waiting for an opportunity to jump my rocks. So why should the reverse be any more true?

Yes, its possible. There are men and women who just don't go for certian people. Its possible so see someone as like a brother and sister and you certainly wouldn't want to have sex with your sibling. (Well I hope not)

Men are, by nature, designed to be promiscuous. Women are designed to stick with a single mate. Men want to spread their seed as far as possible, women want to nurture the babies of one man. Well, so the theory goes.........

Yes, I think women can have male friends. However, I think most of the time, one of the pair (not always the male) are waiting for sex. Or perhaps I just have some very shallow firends.

Terrible survey. You people call yourselves qualifiers?

It's possible to have a straight/bi woman-straight/bi man "friend" relationship that's never touched (i.e., well, do I really have to explain myself?!) if there's little to no attraction. That's at least the case for me.

Sure, it's possible for women to have male friends. Guys often make better friends than other women do.

Yes! Absolutely, positively!! It depends on the guy, of course. SOME are hoping for a chance of sex, but some guys will have absolutely no interest in being any more than just a friend. He already has a girlfriend, and the relationship is more brotherly/sisterly like. I know firsthand that there are guys like that.

this i think is impossibe, either the man or the woman, although usually the man, is romanticly interested. ive never seen evidence contrary, and have never lost an argument about this. all women when seriously asked will finally admit that the male friend that they have does "kind of like me that way"

none of this applies to gay people, concerning relationships with the opposite sex.

Because woman aren't pigs, like men. Well, straight men, anyway. and no, the majority are not waiting around to jump your rocks. every situation cannot be reversed with the same results. c'mon, think of your friendships with women...

I think biggles has a solid grip on this subject. I agree with everything she has said.

they are probably not your friends just cause they want to get into your pants, but it is definately there. if you are friends with them, they want to sleep with you, unless they are gay. and then they probably want to anyhow. think about the flirting that you do with them. its not innocent. i guarantee that all of your male friends have had at least one fantasy about you. ask them, they will admit to it if pressed. although they will reassure you thats not the only reason theyre your friend, and are most likely telling the truth.

That's possibly true, or at least it's widely considered to be true. Other research, however, suggests that it isn't true. Personally, I think there's something in it, but the difference between male and female sexual behaviour is probably more cultural than genetic. There are good evolutionary reasons why it's better for females to be more promiscuous than men.

Of course it is possible. Most of my friends are male. But then again I have kissed most of them at one stage!

I'm thinking of some of my female friends, and trying to imagine myself having sex with them - in effect, deliberately creating a fantasy. And I'm finding it really difficult, especially with some of them - it certainly isn't turning me on at all, if anything it's the opposite. I find it easier to imagine myself bending over and taking it up the tailpipe from some of my male friends, and I'm not even gay!

Any woman who thinks that all men are only interested in getting into her pants is either incredibly good-looking and using a lot of come-ons to the men, or just incredibly big-headed. Or called mandy, of course

I think it's possible..a lot of men are willing to be just friends but it seems nearly all of them would be more than willing to have sex too.

I have had male friends who did NOT like me "that way." I have had lots of platonic male friends that I have never flirted with. I've had male friends who I thought of in a brotherly kind of way, and I treated them no different than my female friends. Are you suggesting that a male and female who are both not romantically interested in each other would never become friends?

Further to my previous comments, I think there's an important difference between what men would do and what men want to do. I think it's likely that, if one of their female friends offered them sex, most single men would take it. But that doesn't mean that it's what they're trying to get, or that it's a factor in their friendship.

For example, if one of my friends was to offer to give me $1000, or a new computer, or a nice meal, or a free holiday in Tenerife, I'd take it - but I'm certainly not hanging around my friends in the hope that one of them will! The only difference between my male friends and my female friends, in this respect, is that my female friends have something else (ie, sex) to offer me that my male friends don't. But they're equally unlikely to offer it to me, and I'm certainly not expecting them to.

Yes, most of my friends are women.

I'm pretty sure my gay male friends are not standing by waiting for a chance of sex with me.

Oh...I hope so.

Cheeky!

Yeah, I guess there are I was speaking as my brother, the psychology student, would

Who says I flirt with my male friends? I honestly don't think they all want to sleep with me! Maybe one or two of them lol but certainly not all of them!!!

Yes. No.

It is possible for women to have male friends.

Why is this essay? This could easily have been a single pick. This is also a bit biased against men. The suggestion seems to be that men, and not women, are unable to have platonic relationships.

You are so naive!

Sure it is. Especially if it's a gay guy.

Yes it's possible.

Do you really think so? I feel much like Claire does. I'm pretty sure that my guy friends (and I have a lot) don't want to sleep with me not because they don't find me attractive, because most of them have even said they think I'm hot, but because we're, well, friends. Case in point: they're perfectly fine with saying things like "you look silly with your shirt cut so low".

I was responding to this:

Men are, by nature, designed to be promiscuous. Women are designed to stick with a single mate. Men want to spread their seed as far as possible, women want to nurture the babies of one man. Well, so the theory goes.........

Of course. What a dumb question.....!

im sorry biggles but i disagree, if pressed these friends of your will admit to the fact. and come on now, are you telling me that you dont flirt, even "innocently"

no im not suggesting that you have to be romanticly interested to become frieds, there is always the (i met so and so through a friend), but i gurantee you that the male friends you have do fantasize about you. even if they dont find you neccesarily attractive. and im not saying thats the only reason that theyre friends with you, they probably enjoy your other redeeming qualities, but they still want it.

That theory was very very very obviously written by a man

Does every straight male fantasize about every female he knows, aquaintence, friend, or otherwize? If not, why would he fantasize about every female friend of theirs, **even if they don't find them attractive**? So, you are telling me, that the 21 year old college student who befriends the 67 year old eccentric lady fantasizes about getting her in the sack? Somehow I find that hard to believe. How soon do these fantasies start? As soon as they meet each other, after a few weeks? Months? Years? How do you know that EVERY guy fantasizes about EVERY one of their female friends? I know guys think about sex a lot, but never imagined they thought about it THAT much!

My answers to the questions above: YES it's possible for females to have male friends. and SOME males are just waiting for a chance at sex, but not all of them!

if a 21 year old college student befriends a 67 year old eccentric lady, its probably got something to do with a need for a motherly influence. otherwise, im sorry, but a 21 year old wouldnt befriend a 67 year old lady, and we know what frued said about out motherly desires. lol
just kidding about that one.

YES.

yes, to the first part.
and not all men are standing by waiting for a chance for sex.
these are two completely different questions.............
women could have male friends.
the second part is asking if men can have female friends, without just wanting to have sex.
two completely different questions!

The eccentric and talented old lady down the block who knows how to fix cars and make neat sculptures has something to offer the 21 year old college student who likes learning new things and doesn't know many people, and is a bit eccentric himself.

I guess what I am trying to say is that there are guys out there who befriend women they aren't attracted to, have no sexual feelings for them whatsoever, but remain friends because of other things they have to offer. A guy isn't going to quit being a woman's friend just because they've known each other a while and he hasn't gotten any. He's also not going to begin to have feelings and fantasies about a friend he finds totally unattractive, just because they've know each other a while. (That might happen sometimes, but not all the time) The second question says 'or are the men just standing by waiting for a chance at sex?' The word "just" makes it sound like that's their motive. I honestly don't think it is in every case.

I think it's possible.
I've only ended up sleeping with one male friend and I think it was and is better because we were friends first.
I have plenty of male friends and I doubt I will ever sleep with any of them.

Yes. And some men are.

It's not my theory!

I talk to people, I don't flirt with them.

I don't want to sleep with all my male or female friends, so why should they all want to sleep with me?

I know there are some guys who would sleep with any female they knew - I know who those guys are. I also know that there are guys out there, who are my friends who might not object to sleeping with me. But I, in no way, believe that can be said for all of them!

i dont think a man will stop being friends just because he hasnt gotten any, hell just keep having fantasies. we can control ourselves. just because we want it doesnt mean well end a relationship for lack of it, well just continue to have the romantic thoughts.

im not saying that you want to sleep with them, its usually the man in these situations. and yes it can be said for all of them. press these male friends of your for an answer to this question, but when you do make sure to tell them that there wont be any consequences for the truth or they wont come out about it, none of us want to look like pigs even if we are. i guarantee....

You don't know my male friends. You don't know that. Freud made the mistake of superimposing what he felt on what everyone else felt. Just because you want to shag all of your female friends doesn't mean all of my male friends want to sleep with me!

ok, but how do you know that *every* straight man develops fantasies for *every* female he gets to know for a time? When do the fantasies start? What if he finds her dog ugly? What if he knows a lot of pretty girls more worthy of fantasies? I don't doubt at all that some guys fantasize about their female friends. But *all* of them? Not all straight guys are alike in how they develop attractions.

I agree with you! I don't believe the idea that men are just hormonal pigs who can't help themselves!

No that would be some other gender who shall remain nameless...Just kidding! Just kidding!

Yeah! I know that you WEREN'T referring to "Gay Men".I just answered it that way.

The Survey Question was:

Do you think it's possible for women to have "MALE FRIENDS"? Or,are the men just standing by waiting for a chance of sex?

Yep! I think it's possible for me,to have MALE FRIENDS! But most of MY cool "MALE FRIENDS" are gay!!! The rest of my other MALE FRIENDS who aren't gay,were always trying to get into my pants.

So actually I answered both your questions.Yes,I think it possible to have male friends.It's just that some of MY MALE FRIENDS are gay.You didn't mention the Male Friends sexually preference,only stated,"MALE FRIENDS" Just cause their gay doen't mean their not "MALE".& vice-versa


& Yes again! SOME men are just horny #$@%^$#@.They say the male thinks about sex every 15 minutes.Some men could care less about sex,their more the brotherly type.Seems the only TRUE MALE friend I do have just happen to be GAY.

TWO questions in one survey is difficult to give only ONE answer to.

yeah, sometimes a melon or even a pie will do

you'd know better than i would!

is that why you spend so much time in the kitchen????

mmmm, kitchen!

hey dab likes pies too!

I think that woman _think_ they can have male friends. I believe i can (i'm female) but i'm proven wrong so many times, as they ask me out/makes moves on me at various times, usually when they think i'm vunrable...so i'd actually say although you can be friends, there is always that underlying sexual tension. I've found if i 'make out' with my male 'friends' the tension has gone and then, yes, we can be real friends.

I don't know. All my friends are male, but only seem to be around when I'm single, so when I'm in a relationship I feel I have no friends at all.
I've also lost plenty of male friends over the years, as when I found out that they wanted more than friendship and they realised that I couldn't offer any more than friendship, they suddenly don't want to be associated with me anymore.

Why how shallow! Of course women have male friends -- the 6% who are gay, and the 3% who are sexually incapacitated. The rest of us are exercising our sexual capacity, even if it is just one molecule.

We're just waiting for the sex, baby!

She can have male friends who don't want ANY sex from her only if she is fudgeed damn disgusting ugly.
I guess you get my point.

   Yes, and I have a female friend (friend in the full meaning of that word)... But then maybe that's because I know that she has a boyfriend and I try not to mess with things.

   I know this is not your theory and you don't agree with it, but I will still say what I think about it, ok?
   "Men are, by nature, designed to be promiscuous. Women are designed to stick with a single mate. Men want to spread their seed as far as possible, women want to nurture the babies of one man."
   This is so wrong. It is the worst kind of a sexist theory that is unfair both on men and on women. First, I don't get the "by nature" clause. If you look at how things are done in the nature, you will find many examples of monogamous relationships. It is not so for insects, for example, but you wouldn't equate people to insects, now would you? And even if you look at insects, you will find a funny thing - every bee hive has only one queen and a great many of male individuals, so in this case males aren't "promiscuous" at all, while the females are "promiscuous" to the utmost extent. Anyway, it's all very far-fetched and has nothing to do with people. I'm just saying that in the nature, there's no biological reason for men to be either more or less "promiscuous" than women, and "men are by nature designed to be promiscuous, and women are designed to stick with a single mate" is just groundless sexist nonsense. Second, what does biology have to do with people anyway? We're people, and we have intellect. Granted, there are people (a few of them) who act as though they don't have any, but I refuse to call them people at all. And in general, *people* can control whatever their biological reactions suggest them. That's exactly what makes someone a human. And third, as to the passage "men want to spread their seed as far as possible, and women want to nurture the babies of one man", that's also a load of nonsense. You're female; do you feel the all-consuming urge to nurture your babies, that is above all other goals you have in your life? I believe not. And as to "men spreading their seed", just a thought of it makes me sick. If someone was to suggest that to me in person, I believe I would get sick right all over their jacket What I dream of in life is to find a girl and spend with her all my life...
   And in reply to the comment (Kirsty's, but I'm putting the reply here) saying that woman can think she can have male friends, but usually when she feels emotionally vulnerable, those friends will sense it and make use of the situation making moves on her... I think the answer would be "choose your friends carefully". Myself I would never sink that low as to make use of someone's vulnerabulity... I *want* to believe that I wouldn't.
   And also read my other comments on this survey... I'm putting there several replies to different people.

   (A previous comment) "either the man or the woman, although usually the man, is romantically interested".
   I strongly disagree with the word "romance" being used to refer to sex. Romance is NOT sex. And it is NOT sexual attraction. There is sex; there is sexual attraction; and there is romance. All three are completely different things, and only very shallow people will refer to sexual attraction as romance, and as I suppose they will be exactly those very males who will also say "We're just waiting for the sex, baby!" (quoting RayB) - people who just have no idea of what the word "romance" really means.
   I have already said what it stands for... "Romance means a smile, the stars in the sky, the fresh wind, the song of a bird, the dawn of a new day, the lightning in a thunderstorm"... Each of you has thought the same as a child. Or I want to hope so. Why do you betray that child, why do you betray yourselves???

   I also used to feel uncomfortable when I caught girls looking at my crotch. Then I realized that I sometimes did the same to them, barely noticing it myself, completely unconsciously. And then I decided I would let them do it to me... It doesn't tell anything about their personality, and it's the only thing that matters So now I have no problems with that. Even though in some *other* situation I can label a girl as putting sex above everything else, and in that case I won't want to have anything to do with her, and will support any relationships with such girl only if forced.

   (A previous comment) "they are probably not your friends just 'cause they want to get into your pants, but it is definitely there. If you are friends with them, they want to sleep with you, unless they are gay, and then they probably want to anyhow".
   As I said, I have a female friend. But I don't even think of having sex with her. And even when I have such thought (yes, it's happened a few times), I cast that thought away. I won't go into my reasons, suffice it to say that I try not only not to think about having sex with her while in reality wanting it, I try even not to want it. Modifying your *desires*, not just thoughts, to fit your idea of right and wrong is hard, but it's possible. And that's exactly what in my opinion separates people from animals.

   Not true. I'm single, but if a girl would offer me sex, I would NOT agree. Even as a token of friendship - it wouldn't be relevant. Actually I think that the idea of a girl "offering" me sex is flawed in itself. I can "offer" a glass of water to someone suffering from thirst. I can "offer" my pen to someone who has forgotten their own at an exam. In general, you "offer" to those who are in need of something. But I'm not in need of sex. So that girl wouldn't be able to "offer" it to me, she could only "ask" me for it. And then I would look only at whether I want to stay with that girl. Whether I want us to be more than friends, whether I want us to be a couple, whether or not I want to marry her. And if the answer to all of these questions is "yes", then I would gladly agree, smiling at myself and wondering how could I not have seen that coming - because if I had seen that coming I would have been the one to take the first steps.

   (A previous comment) "SOME men are just horny %&#@. They say the male thinks about sex every 15 minutes".
   You know, I don't consider myself to be a "horny %&#@". Read my other comments here. However, there are periods when I do think about sex all the time - only it's literally "all the time", not just every 15 minutes. So I think that thinking about sex is not what matters... I can think about sex very often, but intend on losing my virginity only to the girl who will be my only one. I hope you see...

   (A previous comment) "yeah, sometimes a melon or even a pie will do".
   You know, it reminds me of "American Pie". The scene that earned the movie its name - where a hero puts his fingers in an apple pie and says, "Oh, so that's what it's like!"
   lol

   Wow, that was quite a commenting spree... Kirsty, there's a reply to you as well, I just moved it to the comment to Biggles *points upwards the survey* - read it

you proved my point in your last sentence. you have to "try to change" your desires to feel you are doing the right thing. im talking about the natural desire.......its there.

I was talking about evolution......

You know how to make us all ignore you.

Hummmmmm that's food for thought! I wonder??? Do BOYS think about sex more that men do???? Just a thought.

depends on their looks

   Gah.

Just a thought...............

i think that all men have a hidden aggenda about sex and we all know it that is why when we are in a relationship we are so protective even if we truely trust our SO, it is the others that can not be trusted. DTA don't trust anybody (with ur girl that is)

It is possible. I am a female and only one of my friends is a girl. Most of my guy friends are in committed relationships. One is even getting married in August. I'm going to be a brides made! How exciting. He's one of my best friends.

   No, I did NOT prove your point.
   You're trying to disregard me-myself in favour of my pre-inbred reactions (doesn't matter if they were hardcoded by nature or implanted by my upbringing). It's a pity that nobody can control the way they are brought up, but anyway, everyone can overrule their upbringing with something of their own, once they have strong enough views on life and enough will to do it, everyone can remake themselves. I'm what I think is right. I'm what I want to be. I'm not what someone else told me I am or what my impulses dictate me.

The first time I caught my best female friend "checking me out" it felt weird because we are like brother and sister, not because I felt like I was being sexually harassed or anything. I know she would never go further because she's married and very happy, and because she is smart enough to know that sex would probably destroy the great relationship we have.

Possible.

   Gah.

I'm not going to believe that it's not possible just because of present difficulties with certain male friends!

yeah

I have plenty of male friends, both gay and straight. Not all men are horndogs. I also have plenty of female friends, both gay and straight.

depends upon their attractiveness

Yes it is possible and common