What gift would you give the Queen of England for her birthday?

Another handbag. She can't get enough of them.

if it were in my power I'd give her a day off, free to go wherever she wants and do whatever she wants without having to be Queen

I wouldn't get her anything. She didn't get me anything!

probably something from the heifer project

I don't know...a vacation coupon?

I thought she was dead. I swear I think I read something about her funeral last year.
I don't know. I have a few mathoms around (Gawd, I'm adopting hobbit-speech already). What size are her feet? I have some sneakers that fell apart when I took them for a walk around the block. She can pretend that the tongues are detachable.

An ounce of weed.

A new hairstylist and wardrobe stylist.

A lap dance.

lol

Wooden shoes.

one of her grandkids got that and is some trouble now...

A free-ticket to her own execution?

No, I don't believe in Capital Punishment. A one way family ticket to some uninhabited part of the Earth.

The police haven't ruled out charging him! lol

A copy of The Krishna Book. http://www.krsnabook.com/

White kittens and quilts to use as toilet paper.

Hehe...just ignore me that was a silly joke.

A hand sculpted styrofoam name in her favorite color!

1/14 @ 2:04pm

The news people here are having a field day with that,their starting to call him Harry Potter.I kinda feel bad about the whole thing.

Those naughty princes!

A certificate to get a massage, a pedicure, manicure, and facial. Who wouldn't love that??

She didn't get me anything either!

a belly full of wine!!

A box of Godiva chocolates, a trashy Jackie Collins novel, and some bath stuff.

An Invader Zim T-shirt and lunchbox.

A copy of CIV3. If I have to waste my life so can she.

I'd take her out to eat at my favorite expensive French restaurant, La Folie.

I'd get her an ounce of good pot. If she doesn't smoke it herself maybe she can share it with her grandsons.

Ah, I see I have been beaten to the punch.

naughty, naughty princes! You should go spank them!

I never heard back from you about that. You wrote me and I wrote you back- did our mail fall on the ground somewhere?

I'd give her a box of chocolate. Old women like chocolate, don't they? All women love chocolate. Don't they? You tell me they don't?

Okay. An enormous pink vibrator then. As a hint. Do you think Philip would mind that?

A clit lick!

A card.

It's disgraceful isn't it? It's not like she can't afford to get us a box of choccies or something!

i'd give her a piece of paper w/ the word "today" written on it

A coke can that dances when it's sitting next to a stereo or something makes a loud noise.

lump of coal

lol can I have that for my birthday too???

ummm...a penny.

If and when you become Queen of England, sure.

*shouts* OSCAR!! how the hell do you post pictures on a page like the clever people do?

Oh, but I am the queen

Yay! I did it. Now I'll try to show you how.
enclose everything you type in < & >.
img src=the link to your page
Just think of it as saying that the image source equals the url, ok? I'm a bad teacher. Like, in the picture that I posted of the cat, I went:
<*img src=http://www.csmonitor.com/durable/1997/12/29/graphics/1229kitty.jpeg> but I didn't put * before img.
I hope that makes sense to you.

A diary.

Hey- come see me on my birthday...

Ah! The kitten is so sweet

thanks...that's not what I'd give the Queen though. I was just trying something.

1/15 3:38pm
I guess it's out there in cyber space,somewhere.My ISP (MSN) is giving me a hard time.I haven't been able to receive or send any e-mail for the past few days.So please touch base with me here.

Other than that,I've received your e-mail stating that you wanted yours to be "the Vatican" Either in black or red or both. I jussssst finished your's the other day.I'm just waiting on two(autumnlight
s & Jemmys)names to dry,before mailing them,cause that way,I only have to go to the post office once,instead of 4 times.No later than this Thusday or Friday.

Perfect! That will be very cool. That was the mail I wasn't sure if you had gotten or not. Thanks!

I thought Mandy had the franchise on that around here.

Shhhhh don't tell her. We like to make her think that

Well, she said I could be a princess, so I'm not really going to argue with her queenliness!

Oh okay then.That's what I thought you were talking about.I had e-mailed you back,but my e-mail keeps saying [ERROR] & the sending of it,takes soooooo long,that it disconnects,before it's even finished sending it.Aaugh!!!!! I hate my MSN!! But what can I do??? I'm locked into the contract,for another year.I still have 6 e-mails trying to be sent.3 days now!I give up!!!It's the pitts I tell you,the absolute PITTS!> You don't have MSN do you???

But you're not the Queen

YUK! *scratches head*

go to:
http://www.hotmail.com or
http://www.lycos.com or
http://www.yahooo.com
and get free email yeah you have to go to the site and check it but you get it everytime

only 2 o's in yahoo

Nope- I'm cuter! I will wear a crown....

That sounds dreadful! I really hate when people sell something that doesn't work, or doesn't work reliably. It seems so evil. I go nowhere near MSN, thankfully.

A kitten

1/18 10:48pm
Hey! Thank you ASB,but guess what?David scored me a brand new computer today.I was telling Kate about the problem that I was having with my computer.About two months ago,the monitor would blink off & on,off & on,after being on,for over two hours or so.I would have to push the monitor button off & then on again.This would happen for a while,till finally I had to just turn the whole thing off & let it rest for about an hour or so,before I can use it again.I can't tell you how frustrating that was.> I was on the verg of tears many a time. Finally,yesterday David said,honey,I'm calling Office Depot & telling them all the problems we've been having with this computer.Thank God for his Irish gift of gab!!It worked.They asked us bring to bring in our old computer,then gave us a brand new one.Our old computer was a only 5.0,this one is an XP.I had it set up in a matter of minutes.The only thing is,that before I gave them the old one,I had to print out my whole Address book,then delete it from the old one.Plus down load my files.But,to make a long story short,I feel like a new woman now.The key board is even better,it's curved.

1/18 10:52pm Please read the above reply to ASB.

BTW I had mailed your "the Vatican" this afternoon.You should be receiving it with in a week or so.Please open carefully.

cool

saturday 12:57pm
Has it gotten warmer where you guys are at,yet? California is finally beginning to warm up. I can hardy wait for summer again.Just wondering.

Nope, it just snowed last eve.

Ohhhh! Your lucky.I wish it snowed here,just for one week out of the year.You know,so we could play in it.But,not to shovel every morning before I go to work.THAT would be a bummer!

Things you push in the end of corn so that you can eat it without burning your hands. I bet you she hasn't got any of those.

A swift kick in the keister! I'm sure she doesn't have that. If she doesn't like that, how about a hat that doesn't look like it's 50 years out of date, I'll even pop in an extra one for the Queen Mum.

Actually, they have been calling him Harry Pothead.

Sunday 7:52pm
Ohhhhh! I knew it was something like that.

I think it's cruel myself. He's just doing what so many kids his age do, experimenting with forbidden fruit and I don't think his father taking him to a rehab hospital to meet with heroin addicts will do any good. It just perpetuates the myth that pot is a "gateway drug" to addictive drugs, which it isn't.

Sun.9:50pm
Yeah I know! I feel sorry for the kid.
After all,he's just trying to create his
own individual image.His handsome older brother,
gets the attention all the time.Poor thing.

BTW I smoke pot in the 60's & it never
escalated to heroin! I dropped acid several
times (just to experiment) but it ended there.

I've smoked pot, but all it has ever done is give me a headache. I know it was good quality because it was my sister's homegrown. I've never done anything stonger than pot, too chicken I guess.

9:55
Hawaii had some of the BEST grown pot in the world.I smoked form age 16 up untill I was around 21 then I just quit.I would get paranoid & eat everything in sight.I started gaining weight,I decided that was it for me.I don't need anything helping me to gain weight! I can do that all by myself.Thank you!

Maui Wowie anyone!

10:13pm
Boy!! Those were the good 'ole days! Huh?? Puna Butter was the BEST! It was grown on the slopes of Puna.

Hey I'm still awake cause I don't have a job to go to tomorrow.What about you?

11:53 pm and I don't have to get up til 10 am on Monday. I only have to be to work early on Saturday. My weekday start time is 2 pm and I catch a bus at 12:57 pm to get to work, so I can stay up latertonight. I make dinner before I leave and eat a light lunch when I get home around 10 pm, so our weekday meals are reversed, but I don't want to eat a heavy meal when I get home, I usually just have a sandwich or something light in the evening.

12:53am
Ohhhh! Your lucky! Darn you would have to go & talk about food at a time like this.Now I gotta go make me a little something! I'll be right back..........

**runs off to make some ham hocks & kidney beans over rice**

Isn't you clock a little fast? My microwave display says it's only 12:37 am.

Mon.6:38pm
I'm sorry ! I got side tracked & ate & then went right to bed. That's NOT good. I must have been more tired,than I thought.Cause if I typed 12:53 instead of 12:37 then,I MUST HAVE been REALLY tired.

I was bored this afternoon & baked a chocolate cake.God! I feel like such a pig!! >
I cybered you some.

Yum that was good! When are you going to make me some cabbage rolls (she said greedily)?

Tues 6:54pm
Hummmm not yet.I gotta be in the mood.But when I do I'll cyber you some of that too!

Thank you!

9:48pm
You'll love it so much you'll want me to cyber you more.Just don't make it a habit,okay?

Yes ma'am!

a tube of my sperm

quit it bandit1cat!!! WE KNOW IT IS YOU!!!!

gift certificate for massage parlor

A nice fat dick in her mouth.

Nothing! She already has enough stuff,doesn't she?