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| Author | Message |
|---|
cloudhugger
| | #1 posted June 10, 2008 at 4:30pm (EDT) |
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE!
The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized
the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.
This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! --
that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road.
But then, this really isn't about me.......
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal
with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the
'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid
he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants
to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes
and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that
he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the
chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us.
There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the
chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed
to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions.
I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY!
You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.
I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when
the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay!
Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.'
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.
I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.
That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the
chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell,
for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case
of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book.
Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken.
This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white?
We need some black chickens.
|
Melf 
| | #2 posted June 10, 2008 at 5:18pm (EDT) |
 Some of these are acutally pretty funny. |
LindaH   
| | #3 posted June 10, 2008 at 5:38pm (EDT) |
I like the Nancy Grace, grandpa and Colonel Sanders ones.
I could "hear" Barbara Walters voice in my head as I read that one. |
judgescratch
| | #4 posted June 11, 2008 at 8:03am (EDT) |
That's good. |
they 
| | #5 posted June 11, 2008 at 8:30am (EDT) |
I like the Oprah one. |
Melf
| | #6 posted June 11, 2008 at 8:38am (EDT) |
Ehhhh
Philosophy work in the computer room...
Somebody post some jokes  |
they
| | #7 posted June 11, 2008 at 8:59am (EDT) |
search "brown chicken brown cow" on youtube.
Sooooo stupid.
I like it though. |
verouge
| | #8 posted June 11, 2008 at 9:42am (EDT) |
That's really funny!!! hahahahaha |
Irene007 
| | #9 posted June 11, 2008 at 1:39pm (EDT) |
they wrote:
> search "brown chicken brown cow" on youtube.
>
> Sooooo stupid.
>
>
> I like it though.
I didn't get it - am I missing something, like, is it some reference to a TV ad or something? |
they
| | #10 posted June 11, 2008 at 1:42pm (EDT) |
Did you search it? |
Irene007
| #11 posted June 11, 2008 at 1:42pm (EDT)
edited June 11, 2008 at 1:43pm (EDT) |
Ok, I get it now... I did a little more research. I guess I didn't watch enough porn flicks in the 70's (too busy with the action!)  |
they
| | #12 posted June 11, 2008 at 1:46pm (EDT) |
I like it. But it really is a dumb joke. |
Irene007
| | #13 posted June 11, 2008 at 1:49pm (EDT) |
Yeah... I agree! I like Cloud's better - she emailed to me and I told her that she should post it here. Some of the lines are really funny! |
Cleo
| | #14 posted June 11, 2008 at 3:23pm (EDT) |
I too liked the Nancy Grace reply. I could so see/ hear her saying that...... just like that.
Alot of these were funny stuff. If you ever get anymore funny stuff please send them to my email addy.
SERIOUSLY!! Send them to me. |
verouge
| | #15 posted June 11, 2008 at 4:26pm (EDT) |
Irene007 wrote:
> Ok, I get it now... I did a little more research. I guess I didn't
> watch enough porn flicks in the 70's (too busy with the action!)
It's always better to practice and apply than to watch..  |
CarolL
| #16 posted June 12, 2008 at 3:52am (EDT)
edited June 12, 2008 at 3:53am (EDT) |
The REAL question is:
Q: Why did the gum cross the road
A: Because it was stuck to the chickens foot
why when I want to put an apostrophe I get this è and È
I am not french.....please p.m. me |
Irene007
| | #17 posted June 12, 2008 at 11:03pm (EDT) |
Look at your task bar to the right. Do you see "EN" or "FR"? You're probably on the French configuration of your keyboard, just click on the "FR" and a selection of the languages installed will show - just pick English (Can or US - your choice) |
Iseult 
| | #18 posted June 13, 2008 at 8:53am (EDT) |
Thanks for that, Irene. Now I know how to use é. |
Irene007
| | #19 posted June 13, 2008 at 2:55pm (EDT) |
Being in Québec - I have to use it a lot so it stands to reason that I should know this!  |
Melf
| | #20 posted June 13, 2008 at 3:56pm (EDT) |
If you ever just need to use the 'é', you can do ctrl+alt+e. |
Irene007
| | #21 posted June 13, 2008 at 4:02pm (EDT) |
Doesn't work on my keyboard - I use alt + 130 on my number keypad to get it. alt + 144 for a capital É... |
Melf
| | #22 posted June 13, 2008 at 5:41pm (EDT) |
Ah. Méh. (I don't know how to get grave accent  ) |
Irene007
| | #23 posted June 13, 2008 at 6:05pm (EDT) |
è = alt+138 |
Melf
| | #24 posted June 13, 2008 at 6:15pm (EDT) |
èé
__
Hahaha |
Iseult
| | #25 posted June 13, 2008 at 7:50pm (EDT) |
Melf - http://tlt.its.psu.edu/suggestions/international/a... |
verouge
| | #26 posted June 14, 2008 at 7:28am (EDT) |
Is't ctrl+130 for and e and an accent?
I am using my laptop so I dont know how to type that accent!!! :-S |
Irene007
| | #27 posted June 15, 2008 at 10:49am (EDT) |
No, it's alt+130 |
Irene007
| | #28 posted June 15, 2008 at 10:51am (EDT) |
Good link Iseult - I kept it.
You can also find the codes in your character map but I think your link will be faster. |
Iseult
| | #29 posted June 16, 2008 at 12:51pm (EDT) |
I thought character map only worked with your Microsoft Office. I guess you can always do the copy and paste thing, but that would take too much time. |
kcthedog
| | #30 posted June 17, 2008 at 12:51am (EDT) |
Because ot the Roster in the field on the other side! Geeeeze! |
LindaH
| | #31 posted June 17, 2008 at 1:11am (EDT) |
Bob Dylan:
How many roads must a chicken cross before they can call him a chicken?
|
Melf
| | #32 posted June 17, 2008 at 2:17am (EDT) |
|
Pomeranian
| | #33 posted June 17, 2008 at 3:01am (EDT) |
wow normally I think this sort of thing is grating but some of these really were lol and clever. |
verouge
| | #34 posted June 22, 2008 at 11:24am (EDT) |
Ah ok.. |
