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LindaH
#1 posted September 2, 2017 at 11:09am (EST)  
I've seen videos, most recently today, where someone yelling while checking out is asked/forced to leave. My question is this - why don't they simply leave the person alone and let them finish checking out, and then they will voluntarily leave when they are done?

The yelling man at walmart video ticked me off. He should not have been asked and then forced to leave.
Biggles Bronze Star Survey Creator
#2 posted September 2, 2017 at 12:01pm (EST)
edited September 2, 2017 at 12:01pm (EST)  
I have not seen any videos like this, but I'm having a hard time imagining scenarios where people yelling at the till shouldn't lead to expulsion. Ordering them to go may not get them out quicker, but it does demonstrate that such behaviour isn't going to be tolerated and that "the customer's always right" never extends to abusive behaviour towards staff. Customers have every right to complain, but there is a line that shouldn't be crossed and yelling is definitely on the wrong side of that line.
LindaH
#3 posted September 2, 2017 at 12:05pm (EST)  
The most recent video, he was yelling at another customer. My point is that if you leave it alone, the yelling will end very shortly and without fuss or fight. People leave the store on their own when they are finished. I think getting them out quicker and without fuss is much better and more important than "demonstrating" an intolerance for it. People resist, and then end up getting arrested for something everyone would have been better off ignoring.
LindaH
#4 posted September 2, 2017 at 12:23pm (EST)  
CANTON, Ohio-- The trouble began at a Walmart in Canton Sunday night when a man began shouting profanities in the self-checkout line.

A customer asked 40-year-old Vernon Harter, of Massillon, to stop cursing in front of children in the store. He responded by screaming at the customer.

That's when a Canton police officer working security confronted the irate man and asked him to leave. Police said Harter was combative and when the officer tried to arrest him, he resisted.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was most likely shouting at the checkout machine, an inanimate object. If that isn't the most easy to ignore kind of yelling (no human target) I don't know what is. Yet someone had to raise a stink and make things worse for everyone involved. Most of the time, angry people should be left alone.
Biggles Bronze Star Survey Creator
#5 posted September 2, 2017 at 12:55pm (EST)  
I wouldn't work somewhere that I was expected to take abuse from customers and wouldn't shop somewhere that members of staff turned a blind eye to another customer yelling at me. I agree that getting in the face of an abusive customer can cause things to escalate. Having security rush in and bodyslam them would be an overreaction (and assault), but calmly refusing to serve them and asking them to leave is very much appropriate. Provided there is a consistent store zero-tolerance to abuse policy, they are only going to persist for so long before they realise they aren't going to get served and leave anyway.

I have a lot of conflict resolution experience and I often have to defuse difficult situations. Staying calm and actively listening to concerns is vital, but you also have to be firm and consistent in what you are saying. Rolling over because someone is being verbally or physically aggressive only creates more problems for the future and rewards bad behaviour. It also makes you look weak and often that will only make them act more nastily as they don't see you as worthy of respect. I am willing to take quite a bit of abuse, because I know the people I'm dealing with (usually relatives rather than my patients) are often frightened or feeling guilty and out of control. There is still a line that they do not get to cross.
Biggles Bronze Star Survey Creator
#6 posted September 2, 2017 at 1:01pm (EST)  
Asking someone to stop screaming profanities is a reasonable request, especially with children present. Asking a customer to leave who has screamed at someone making a reasonable request is also reasonable.

Even if I agreed with you, the man was yelling at another customer at the point the staff member intervened, so there was a human target.
LindaH
#7 posted September 2, 2017 at 1:14pm (EST)  
When he was yelling at an inanimate object, he was not crossing a line. When he was asked to stop, that's when things got nasty. He shouldn't have been asked to stop in the first place. If he at self checkout, no one has to serve him, just let him finish up and leave. If he is not allowed to do that, then he has to come back later to finish his shopping.......... Better to let him get it over with so you don't have to see him for a while. I think it is fine to do nothing when someone is being verbally aggressive, as long as they don't make threats or lay a hand on anyone.
The man would never have started yelling at the other customer if she had not many any requests of him in the first place.
For me, the 'line not to cross' is in a different place than it is for you.
LindaH
#8 posted September 2, 2017 at 1:15pm (EST)  
I just think it is stupid to interrupt angry people when they aren't violent or making threats.
Biggles Bronze Star Survey Creator
#9 posted September 2, 2017 at 1:18pm (EST)  
LindaH wrote:

> For me, the 'line not to cross' is in a different place than it is for you.

I think the line not to cross is in a different place for you than it would be for most other people.
LindaH
#10 posted September 2, 2017 at 1:24pm (EST)  
Possibly, and that's unfortunate, because there's something people just don't see that I see. There's no harm in allowing people to yell. It's better to let it happen than to fight it.
LindaH
#11 posted September 3, 2017 at 10:34am (EST)  
I think it is unreasonable to at least not let him finish ringing up his purchase, which was the whole point of my post to begin with. Kicking someone out when they are just about on the way out anyway is unreasonable. Just wait, leave him alone, and he will soon be gone.
cerealkiller
#12 posted September 5, 2017 at 3:30pm (EST)
edited September 5, 2017 at 3:31pm (EST)  
A couple weeks ago I went to the convenience store about 10 pm. There was a guy standing in the doorway yelling at no one in particular but not really hurting anyone. A police vehicle with two cops pulled up, they handcuffed him, put him in the car and left. I wasn't scared of him and was only 3' from him when the cops grabbed him and cuffed him. But, other people looked disturbed at the guy's actions.
LindaH
#13 posted September 5, 2017 at 7:47pm (EST)  
Yeah, and unless he had a warrant or was threatening someone, they shouldn't have cuffed him. You were not disturbed but other people were...... that makes this sort of thing subjective, and dependent on other people's reactions. That, to me, makes it a bad law.

If he were in the middle of the parking lot, what would they have done? If he were in the middle of a park lawn, what would they have done? If instead, he were a small framed (non intimidating) woman, what would they have done?(these are just pondering questions)
FordGuy
#14 posted September 6, 2017 at 7:00am (EST)  
There is no bigger hypocrisy than the 'tolerance' people preach about having.
Lysannus
#15 posted September 7, 2017 at 3:17am (EST)  
Yelling is one thing. It may be annoying but if they are not harming anyone then so what. No different than the person with a couple kids throwing a tantrum because they didn't get what they want.

Now at the grocery store the other day they had to call the cops because the shouting turned into a fist fight between these two guys. What amazed me the most (not the fight as this store is in a bad area) but all the other patrons just circled the two fighting to watch. WTF in that area of town it would not be beyond the realm of possibility that one or both could have had a gun. Standing right there would be a good way to get shot.

Needless to say I don't go to that store much anymore and go to the next town over where it is all country folk and farmers, who are all laid back and in no hurry to get anywhere.
LindaH
#16 posted September 7, 2017 at 11:21am (EST)  
I noticed people are a lot more tolerant of loudmouths having a shouting conversation than someone yelling because they are upset. Two people can shout all through the store, "I like this one, we should get it!" *loud cackling* "yeah lets go look at mirrors!"

Then someone gets ticked off and screams in annoyance and soon people are wanting him to leave the store.
LindaH
#17 posted September 7, 2017 at 8:18pm (EST)  
Lysannus wrote:
> Yelling is one thing. It may be annoying but if they are not harming anyone then
> so what. No different than the person with a couple kids throwing a tantrum because
> they didn't get what they want.

This is why I don't understand it when people freak out about adults yelling. No threats, and especially knowing the duration will be short. It will be over soon. I'm not sure why people can't just 'ride it out' and then let it go.

I remember a video, I think I've mentioned it here more than once - a guy in dollar tree screamin his head off, and then when he went to leave THEY BLOCKED HIM IN. Then he turned back around and was screaming some more, until he got tackled.

Okay........ if they would have just let him leave instead of blocking him - he would have gone on his not-so-merry way and the incident would have ended. Instead, they kept him there while awaiting police. They were bound and determined to have him arrested for yelling, one way or another.

Our society has an extreme intolerance for yelling, that is way over the top, IMO.
LindaH
#18 posted September 7, 2017 at 8:21pm (EST)  
Oh, and do you remember me mentioning the hospital cafeteria yelling lady? The quiet lady was clearly, plainly, obviously in the wrong, but the yelling lady got kicked out, because she was loud.

Really.

If someone wrongs you, beware the repercussions of yelling at them, people.