Tell me why I should come work for you and describe what you would have me do.

So, whatja up to today? (Offering her a cup of herbal tea.)

Hey,isn't baseball season over?
Yay!! 6 short weeks till football season!!! Yes!

Nothing much,just chillin.... mmmmmmmm thank you for the tea.OOOOO,just a bit too hot. Never mind,I'll just do what I always do,put ice.....Ice that I don't pay for. ** as she hands him some green tea bags**

Shouldn't you be on your way to work by now?? Hurry now, don't be late! Have a fantastic day Brian!

(placing green tea bags on eyelids)
Thanks I needed that. I gotta get my eyeglasses prescription changed.
Ahh...the joys of getting old.

I am at work...goofing off. Coming up on lunchtime.

Oh ,i can totally relate.I never get prescription glasses.I just go into the local Savon/Rite-Aid,& try on whatever glasses works best.No wonder I keep responding to the wrong people all day long.

lol lol lol, coming up on lunchtime...goofing off at work **shaking her head from side to side** "Brian,your my hero!!" **as she tugs on his super cape**

Hey, careful with the Lycra, willja? Do know how hard it is to get stains outta it? My dry cleaning bills run me a fortune. Not exactly what I can really afford on a "starving super-hero" income.

Recently my alter-ego "Captain Klutz" was vacationing in another part of cyber-space when he came across a field of broccoli in distress. Seems that the farmer had forgotten to include sufficient enough nitrogen in the fertilizer and instead of a scrumptious green, the broccoli were all jaundice.

Well, being the nice guy that Captain Klutz is, he immediately used the remainder of his vacation money (which he was saving for night at Larry's Danco-mania and Floral Arrangements Emporium) to spring for the necessary vitamins to rescue the endangered veggies.

Trouble being the local General Nutrition store would not accept US$ 3,568.25 in rolled quarters, plus one, which Captain Klutz came across while tying his shoe laces.

Not to be stymied, or pygmied or any other kinda "mied", Captain Klutz sprang into action...ahh...guarded response...unhurried consideration...ahhh...actually what he did was leisurely stroll over to the student union of the local community college.

There (after he enrolled in a self-improvement course titled: "We'll keep takin' yer money until you smarten up") turned over the entire US$ 3,568.25 to a 19 year old chemistry major Captain Klutz found endlessly feeding an ancient "Pong Machine" silver circlets. (It appears somethings never change even after thirty years.)

Captain Klutz accompanied the chem major to the storage room, where Captain Klutz himself had to force open the door, because the chem major had unfortunately forgotten his key. Inside was an entire canister of dehydrated powdered liquid nitrogen, or so the chem major said.

Pleased with his good luck, Captain Klutz sped off to the broccoli field. Where he found that the dehydrated powdered liquid nitrogen would only cover about 3 of the 7,962 square feet of farm land. (Math never was Captain Klutz's strong point. In fact academics seem to be missing from Captain Klutz's resumé entirely, but that's another tail.)

As it turned out, the powder was not actually dehydrated liquid nitrogen, but atomic waste left over from the Nixon era, when tricky dickie attempted to "correct" the educational system overload by giving campus radicals their own personal supplies of glow-in-the-dark iridium.

To make an already long and boring story even longer...not only did the iridium help the broccoli regain their color, but increased their size as well...about 40 feet, more or less.

Captain Klutz barely escaped with his costume when a giant broccoli grabbed his cape and spinning him around, chucked him about 1,500 kilometers for a new distance record at the first ever All Vegetable Olympics.

Unfortunately Captain Klutz's cape was forever stained with a bright green stripe.

For this reason, I'm tellin' ya once again: careful with the fudging Lycra, willja?

lol lol lol Nobody,but nobody chucks THIS,Giant Green,vitamin induced Broccoli a milli inch!! Cape or no cape. Take that & that & that!! The new super Green Queen Veggie de-thrones the,Lycra loving,Mon' Captain Klutz,for the last time,never to be seen nor heard from again,in the pink cyber space galaxy.** laughing her evil laugh & flexing her Popeye like muscles**

** she unfurls her newly ironed,satin finish,squish caterpillar green cape,upon the new defrocked super hero,sing

"Momma said there be days like this,there be days like this my momma said."**

(defrocked super hero covers his defrocked super naughty bits)
D*mn, I need bigger hands.

lol lol lol Yeah right!! Your defrocked okay?? Now lie there & play dead!! Dang it!!**Gives him the look**

How can I play dead when my...ahh...my...ahhh..."super ego" is active?

Oh,alright you baby!! **whining, you always cheat at this game.I don't wanna play any more**

Waaaaaaaa!!! sob,sob,snivel,snivel
I wanna play something else! It's my turn now.**stomping her foot & wiping a tear**

Watch where you are stomping. I can only take so much damage at a time. (Playing extremely dead.)

lol lol lol Thank you I like this game again!**walking away looking smug,mumbling ** Okay ,that's the way the game is supposed to be played.

** reels head around to check if he's still playing dead.**

as a door nail

Ah,dead as a door nail man,tell no tales.... *checking for tell tale signs of freshly made finger prints*(sigh of relief) Tanking down an ice cold Zima. Humming a tune......

(still dead...waiting for Jesus's return...see you on the other side)

Mind if I join you?

Hmmm...I was under the impression you might have already been there and back being unstuck in time as you are. However, I can think of no better company for such a journey.

Pull up a floorboard and lie down.

lol lol
Arise my child,you are favorable in God's eyes,go now & be dead no more!
** loud thunder clapping in the distance **

Much obliged. Under it?
That's pretty much how I spent today. (waiting for answers or a change of consciousness)
2 months of drifting further from the supernatural and the stupidest circumstances of late, many things are leaving me without a sense of direction or purpose. I was considering aiming for leaving this plane again, since I can't leave the planet.

Whoa, this sounds familiar. Hmmm...might it be the alignment of the planets or merely an overindulgence in spicy food?

Hmmm...would that it be that simple.
In any case, I'll get up 'cause my back is stiff.
Ya gotta do somethin' about that floor of yours.
Hey! Alright, what did you do with my clothes?

The firm hard boards are way better than a soft mattress,anyday.

Seeing as how you've turned over a new leaf & is now favorable in God eyes I gave it to him.He told me,he giveth therefor he can taketh away.I tried to argue in your behalf but,he would have none of it.

Sorry,what can I say I gave it my best shot.I'd make a lousy lawyer. So sue me...
Go ahead ask him for it......

I really don't want the leaf back.
What I really want is a new "twig"...ahh..."branch".

After all that,all you want is a twig? Okay then you have it then.*as Brain turns & walks away with his twig in hand** nice butt,I mean nice strong back!!

Finally! Now I have something to write in the survey: "What's the nicest compliment you ever received".

lol lol lol Right on I can hardly wait to see how you word that.

"dabprovin done approvin' my...ahh...buttin."

lol lol lol Short & to the point.I like that!!!

I have six brands of salsa in the fridge. It's half my diet. Things haven't been the best since Mars gained dominance a couple months ago. I like to think I'm above that stuff too. When I fall asleep I feel like being attacked by all sorts of fleas or bed bugs, on top of the regular crow, sirens, & electrical sensation that usually kick in when I try to sleep. I had to chant 'love/ananda' till i fell asleep after tring to get some word from the almighty on what was going on. The sleep thing has beenworsening for 13 months now. Way back when I became a yogi I was happily doing 3 hours sleep a night. Fire in a 7" bottle did appear in my conversation though. Is it possible to become allergic to salsa after years?

K_R. I know I am probably asking the impossible, but might you see a physician regarding sleep disorders. I understand you consider many of these "events" to be part of your overall connection with the universe, but ya gotta get yer rest, girl. I would be saddened to learn that you had other problems, which arose out of sleep deprivation; i.e. losing consciousness while juggling razor blades.

(hugs)

Hugs are good. When I'm on a roll I don't need much sleep, staying up for several days straight (3 frequently, 6 once), but that hasn't been the case in about a year and a half now. Going on a hiking trip after missing a nights sleep is about the most I can muster lately. I just got a word a few minutes ago that the bugs sensation actually is bugs, but there microscopic (I've never seen them) and don't appear every night. The electrical sensation happened directly as a consequence of some psychic exploration I did (well intended posession surveillance and some astral flight stuff). I've figured some ways to at least explore it further as either alternate realm sensory or even transformative matter work. I checked that section of my living room today; north is still coming from the south there. In the past there was always a voice recorder or speaker or something nearby that could possibly also explain it besides the energy portal I once opened, but this time there were no objects to interfere with the compass reading. I just decided to get back into that sort of work and felt a major depression lift.

Just get some rest, already.
(laughing gently)
You are most amazing person, K_R.

Two words- foot massage.

You can be my servant. I will require you to bring me snacks and beer at any time of day or night. You will work purely for the love of your work and will therefore receive no wages. Sound good? You can start now. Bring me some toast and a coffee.

Everything I don't want to. If you are as good as you say, I couldn't afford you anyway.