Sayings, adages, maxims...give a popular, supposedly wise saying as you add to it (or change it) to be just a little bit wiser, or maybe a little closer to reality.

Don't throw the baby out with the bath water... give it to me!

Hahaha!
Don't throw the baby out with the bath water...throw it out with the other biodegradables!

Ack no! Don't throw the baby out at all!
Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Put it in a room full of baby toys and music!

Ok, ok. I guess we can recycle. Haha.

There is no room at the top... unless you are in a parking garage.

It's lonely when you're at the top...of the sewage system, inviting people to "join" for lunch.

It's lonely when you are on top of things, and everyone else is goofing off.

It's lonely on the top...as most gays seem to be 'bottoms' for some reason.

A watched pot never boils...but a watched teenage neighbour phones the police.

A stitch in time save 900!

It's not whether you win or lose, it's whether I win or lose.

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."................."There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it."......................"I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence."................."The Most Important Things In Life Are Children And Art"

Where there's a will, there's a family squabble.

Don't cry over spilled milk...you're just ruining the fun for the rest of us cow-tippers.

Don't cry over spilled milk. Cry over spoiled milk.

Don't cry over spilled milk - step away from it because you're getting your tears in it.

Don't cry over spilled milk - smack the jerk who spilled it!

Don't cry over spilled milk - it's the oil that's killing all the seabirds.

If at first you don't succeed - and you're tempted to 'try try again' - walk away from the slot machines and seek help from Gamblers' Anonymous.

If hindsight is 20/20 - then foresight is bionic.

(hey, I like that one actually)

Don't cry over spilled milk, get away from it before it drips from the table to your lap.

Don't cry over spilled milk - lactation is natural.

Don't cry over leaked milk, just go get some nursing pads.

That would make a good nursing pad slogan. "...so you never have to cry over leaked milk"

Ha! "For that not-so-homogenized feeling..."

• "Two heads are better than none," said the famous horseman.
• If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it...does it dance naked in a drunken stupor as it sings songs about the swampland and smashes birds' nests while it smokes illegal cigars? (That one always makes me wonder...)
• A frown is really just a smile that's turned against a face.
• Is a glass half empty? Or is it time ferrr anozzer drinky-poo yet? Hic!
• Is a glass half empty? Or is it really not there at all?
• Is a glass house full of empty people who throw half a stone?
• Is a glass half empty when you spill milk in a forest with belligerent naked trees?
• "Two heads are better than nuns," said the gay priest.
• I think, therefore I nap.
• Now is the time for all good men to come to the sound of the ice cream truck.
• Blood is thicker than watered down margaritas.
• A family that plays together is a family that had better close the drapes.
• All's well that ends before the family slides come out...
• Why put off for tomorrow when you can say you did it just yesterday?
• "Two heads are better than the runs!" said the queazy mother who was about to birth twins.

All's well that ends.
Good things come and gone to those who are late.
A turd on the hand is worth two on the tush. (sorry)

"...two in the tush"! Ha! I've never quite looked at the rectum as a depository of sorts, but...(haha)

• A bird in the hand means you've killed it.
• A bird in the hand - to a cat - is an edible toy.
• A bird in the hand is the equivalent to flipping someone off. ooIooo
• A bird in the hand - if you're a finger-painter - can become quite colorful.
• A bird in the hand - if you're a mime - is more interesting than you.
• A bird in the hand - if you're a surgeon - can cost lives.
• A bird in the hand - if you're applauding - repeatedly gets injured.

"All's well that sends bells," said an aspiring, wingless angel.
"All's well that ends in gel," said an aspiring, wingless an_ _ _, finally winning the spelling bee.
"All's well that ends in parallels," said the frustrated mathematician who couldn't plot a vector.
"All's well that spends at Shell," boasts a sign at a gas station.
"All's well that ends in Hell," reads a banner on the side of Satan's welcome-wagon.
"All's well who intends to tell," said professor of Whistle-Blowers 101.
"All's well to be lent a shell," said the slug.

I thought of a good one this morning but i forgot it.

To err is human, to forget is unforgivable. (haha)

Nothing comes easy... at least nothing good.

Please do not throw glass, in my house of stone.

I'll jump off that bridge when I get to it.

I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise... and boring as hell.

There is no use crying over milled spilk.

All the world is but a stage and we are merely roadies.

Would a rose by any other name still wilt and die after paying $100 for 12 of them?

The pen is mightier than the sword... unless of course you are in a sword fight.

Rock and roll may not be dead, but it sure is getting sick.

All you need is love... unless of course someone is holding your head under water.

Everything is reletive... Now go back to your hovel.

There's more to the pupil than meets the eye

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked
them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe
these were actually done by first graders--their insight
may surprise you. (or not, if you have kids or work with them!)
>
>Better to be safe than........punch a 5th grader
>
>Strike while the ......bug is close
>
>It's always darkest before......Daylight Savings Time
>
>Never underestimate the power of......termites
>
>You can lead a horse to water but.......how?
>
>Don't bite the hand that........looks dirty
>
>A miss is as good as a.........Mr.
>
>You can't teach an old dog new.......math
>
>If you lie down with dogs, you'll......stink in the morning
>
>Love all, trust..........me
>
>The pen is mightier than the........pigs
>
>An idle mind is.......the best way to relax
>
>Where there's smoke there's........pollution
>
>Happy the bride who.........gets all the presents
>
>A penny saved is.........not much
>
>Two's company, three's.........the Musketeers
>
>Don't put off till tomorrow what........you put on to go to bed
>
>Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and .....you have to blow
>your nose
>
>There are none so blind as.......Stevie Wonder
>
>Children should be seen and not.........spanked or grounded
>
>You get out of something only what you..... see in the picture on the box
>
>When the blind leadeth the blind.......get out of the way
>
>And the favorite:
>Better late than ..........pregnant

A bird in the hand isn't worth two in my bush.

yes, be one

I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

be the ball

heres 2 revised ones, you figure them out .... " All Fart, no fumes " ..... " same crap, different butt-hole "