Talk to yourself out loud in public.

oh good, my survey passed already, i figured it would be quick. i'm tired, but this might keep up my interest to drag myself on another hour while i'm too tired to do any actual work. and perhaps fill the void that appeared after being attracted to a gal who appeared at our spiritual workshop, not to mention i haven't been able to get a call through to my best friend in a week or two. i need to make new friends. well, lets see who's arrived already. i wonder if replies to anonymous actually go anywhere. doubtful since the list-box isn't tracking which number anonymous one specifies. i ramble too much.

oh, guess i'm the first here, think i'll log off quick before i ramble on for pages without any sort of connection to others. hmm, think i'll vote it good first. hmm, should i? i don't often vote on these things. i could just wish people to visit without any advertising gimmicks. ah, what the heck.

oh, lets see what happened during qual.

oh, i am 39, i thought so, well there's a moments math i don't have to do, not that i cared, that gal was 39 too, and she looked about 26, i bet i'm looking about 35 these days. not much point thinking about her. let's see what other new surveys are around

i do this all the time...at least now i have an "excuse", my child, for when people look at me strangely, i'm just talking to my kid...i do this at home too...announce what i'm doing...what i should be doing what i will be doing next....also in public, i can sing and dance, thanks to my kiddo...i'm glad that i can and have an excuse to do it, otherwise i'm labeled as nuts

must take another throat sweet. should I go to the doctor? Should I use capital letters? I'm off work next week. That'll be nice but I feel sad that I'm not doing anything special. People keep asking me if I'm doing anything special. Do you have to do something special. Am I a sad person. Will the delivery people call today with my delivery times. I hope its next week. I hope the coffee table doesn't look too big in the house. I hope to armchair looks as good as in the catalogue and isn't too soft. Should I have ordered from a catalogue. Will anyone read this crap if its too long. Press submit now!

argh..have to do the dishes, feed kitties, clean out garbage can and dry it...i wonder if i'll get good stuff at the food pantry today. will the sun come out later? i wanna play a game of pinball befor i get off this thing. sigh...have to sweep the floors and mop today...maybe i'll be able to get in the shower a bit earlier to day. i gotta hang that dress up also...do i want anymore coffee? i should quick go smoke a cigarette before i'm needed again. i hope that the sun will shine this weekend so we can go play outside. what am i making for dinner tonight? god am i bored bored bored bored...so bored...but i have so much to do, how can i be bored? just am though...so much stuff that i want to be doing, but really can't for it all requires to much of my attention. and my attention is wrapped up in other things that demand it...did scott take out the trash this morning..shoot he forgot his lighter...ahhhhhhh...need cig

Not in the office. I have to work with these people.

No. I have no interest in sharing everything that comes to mind out loud!

Why do we always run out of paper? What's it called when you turn around and get back at a person who got back at you? Rerevenge? Theres some sort of thing going on downtown, and they are trying to get people to go, but I'm not going because you never kno-- no way. I was just thinking about that guy the other day. Nothing wrong with him. *mumble mumble* No, I'm not talking to you, I'm thinking outloud.

I should be home doing the laundry right now. Now, let's see...what site do I want to go to next. I hope Kristal Rose doesn't take that remark about singing It's a Small World the wrong way...I just hate that song. When you go on the ride they play that damned song over and over and over...time to go to the next survey. Crap, I've only got 20 minutes left on the computer! Better get going.

I hope that I can get done with this before my cell rings... I do love my new cell phone but I am very nervous about going over on the minutes and having extra charges... I must get the bill before my husband does so he cannot see that my friend called me on it... I hope my friend calls today... I am becoming quite fond of him but I wonder if the rumors are true, don't think he trusts me enough to tell me...I am going to get myself into trouble if I don't stop talking to him and seeing him... but I love the attention... guilt is sinking in... I know I have to quit it...I hope my package comes in the mail today

The first think I thought was "you stupid chicken" because I just split my beer. BTW, it might seem weird to out Nth American members, but in the other English speaking countries, chicken in generally used as a derogatory term for men, although friends may call each other chicken. It's not a sexual thing but it can be used to show affection among male friends. It depends how it's used. Right now I'm listening to Tool and thinking, "can that fudgehead accros the street hear this?" because he sometimes has been known to try to talk to me about music he hears me playing although I really don't want to talk to him or any of my other neighbours who seem like wankers to me. I just thought "fudge my back hurts" because I did a workout today after being a lazy chicken for about 5 days watching DVD's and drinking piss (that's beer for our North American friends). "Crap this song's choice!" I think as I listen to Tool - Lateralis. I tend to swear a lot when I talk to myself. I just thought that there are so many paeople who think "a lot" is one word - "alot" - but it isn't. "FUDGE! I nearly spilt my beer again!" I think as I nearly spill my beer again. I'm drinking from a tall bottle, 750mL, which is known creatively in Australia, well at least in Queensland Australia, as a "tallie". I'm half pissed by the way (pissed as in drunk, not angry, for our North American friends). Tool fudging rocks man! Pump that crap out! I'm trying to download stuff as I type this and it's bloody slow (bloody as a swear word not actual blood for our North American mates)-(mates as in friends not sexual partners for our North American friends). Just thought "who's this chicken" then I realised it was a guy selling turkey/chicken roasters on channel 10. Do I sound like a street person?

Harrumph!

Let's see, I need to go check my e-mail, in about 20 minutes I'll pop over the Register Guard site and read the paper and then I'm going to take a shower and wait for my son and the mailman to arrive. I'm still thinking what I want for lunch. I need to remind Mark to finish watching Help and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest as I have to take them back to the library on Friday.

Have you been watching Blazing Saddles?

Cool surevey. I should really be studying for the theory exam right now. God, I am so screwed, I'm going to fail that exam. Well, at least I'll get a good mark on the book. Thank god for Allison giving me hers with all the corrections in it. I wonder if kath got the same exam I'll get. I'll have to call her tonight. I also need to memorize the spanish thing. The dialouge. Does a dialougue have only two people? This one has three. I wonder what it is called with three people? I don't even know how to spell dialougue. I wish I had some chocolate. I like this song. Oh my, this is hard. I type much slower than I think. I wonder when I'm supposed to stop saying all my thoughts. I'll stop now I think.

My neck hurts so bad. Hopefully it'll be better tomorrow and I won't miss anymore work. I hope that lady's insurance pays me for the work I've missed. %^#$* that pisses me off! Only 6 more hours and Josh will be home. Then I won't be so bored.

Uh.....Uh.....I'm bored as hell at work. Uh...I'm thinking hold on....I need to lose 15 pounds but I don't want to exercise or cut back on my eating habits. Dammit, I know traffic is going to be awful. Should I go get a bag of chips? No, I better not. Her breathe really smells, she's gotta know that. I have sand between my toes, oh well that's what I get for going to the beach on my lunch break. Okay I'm done.

Confirmed: "Smallville" is the best show ever. Tom Welling nailed that role, the perfect combination of quiet power, innocence, attentiveness and manliness. And those slightly crooked teeth kill me, all my girlfriends have a huge crush on him The show itself is really classy, I love the way they opted to have it now-time rather than some cheesy pseudo-vintage they would have capitally screwed up anyway. It's the perfect blend of Superman memories and fresh imagination, as well as a subtle script, both satisfying and wicked (Clark saying "I have to fly" when he's late to meet someone). And Lana is just plain gorgeous. What a knockout. Her eyes remind me of mine and I enjoy our mutual cat-likeness...

My cats are an excuse to sing and play too. good grief, there are a lot of comments to read here already. Perhaps I should return later. I'll definitely bookmark this one. I'm eager to open those new bike parts, ah yes, and i'll have to write som shining thank you's at ebay. well, my prayer that things arrive today so I can feel good about some physical activity worked. i feel too lazy to type in italicization brackets, how pathetic. bye lovelight. hmmm, i'm getting an idea why talking out loud in public is not social etiquette, like people really want to hear all this stuff.

ok, who's next? how sweet, neighbor kids are laughing in unison with my thoughts of laughter. this is a lot more typing than i was ready for today. Dino seems sad to me. Oh, he's got a delivery issue today too. I wonder what his house looks like. Oh yeah, he got that Siva Natarja. Lovelight calling herself nuts, how sweet. Good grief, every word people have typed here will be running through my head, I hadnt' anticipated the redundancy [OK FOLKS, You don't have to retype everything you read here] My survey format, I guess I can shout out the rules here. Now folks will know I always have this sort of concern running through my head. They probably do too. Back to Dino. Oh no, we're probably all wondering if anyone will care to read this stuff I plan to read it all Dino. for the time being, if this goes on for weeks, i'm sure I'll tire of it.

In real life, when people talk to themselves, it's in a low mumbley tone. It's easy enough to ignore. I still think home and places of study, worship, concentration etc are havens to go for peace and quiet, and that everywhere else is an appropriate place for noise.

I made al long call before feeding my kitties this morning. What were all those dang beeping phone calls waking me up this morning about? Sirens outside, shouldn't think of it as some sort of cosmic conspiracy theory; like last night when I couldn't get a single page about communes to download, and the radio was channelling dark future time lords claiming responsibility for erasing my activities before I became a threat to them, but then voyager was that episode in which janeway goes into the past to rescue herself. There was that time reliving the resurrection in my sleep just before 9-11, and the radio said it was a faux pas to show up in your past to change things. well, nothings changed. is she really going to talk about her dishes? who am i to complain, I have a larger than normal stack, and she's doing me a service reminding me of that. I wonder if theres anyone here I will not be sharing thoughts with? It would be coll if everyone could see how we are one mind. That was sort of the purpose here, but then people have said it holds true for me, but not for them. I wondoer if they just can't see it, or it really isn't so. Maybe it only happens to those who align themselves. Nah, I've seen it amongst plenty of sleepers. Yay, pinball
I love pinball. I've often wanted a job restoring pinball machines.
Oh cool, just cut and paste the entire italicization bracket pair. Glad I rarely mop. Do need to take my shower still, forgot about that. Wonder what she looks like in the shower. How sad, didn't realise she smokes, oh yeah, I guess I knew. I recall having that hurry and smoke mindset.
I go into limbo. Bored doesn't really exist for me anymore. I come up with adrenalin to do activities, not use activities to burn the adrenalin. consequently, I don't do all that much physical stuff anymore.

It's harder to think this way than when I'm walking around doing things. I hate the phrase "Giving something back to the community" It's as if you took something and are indebted or something. I can't find the address for the hershey factory. I guess I should put that in the can't find on internet survey. Empathy is over rated. if you are kind and considerate and polite, and you arent mean, patronising or bossy, there's no reason you need to put yourself in the other person's shoes.

Oh brother, is she making this up, or does she really always think about this stuff. Poor thing. 'Nothing wrong with him' that sounds like what that new gal, L might be thinking. Thank god T finally called today. I wonder if I can really get myself on the road for a 'morning' bike trek. The lake should be beautiful. Hope we don't blow our plans like usual.
So what could be wrong with a thing downtown? *envisions black trucks secretly hauling away members of the crowd* seriously, i wonder what she could be worried about. Now if it were me, I'd just be leary of wasting time over some commercial crap. I'm going to have to take a break from SC soon. must go. must go. will i resist reading another comment. hmm, i think not.

It's not that I have better things to do with my time. I think it was the phrase "you must say everything that comes to mind." Even with your disclaimer about censored material, it elicited an oppositional reaction from me. I'm a private person, that's all.

And yes, I'm female.

dang, i'm out of undies too. hope I still have quarters. I don't want to have to go shopping just to get some more. How sweet, she's bringing up the small world comment. looks like i read her right. neighbor gal is saying I Love You. must not get inappropriately attracted.
I thought your comment was fun, even though I probably would enjoy seeing the ride again. I love disneyland. hate the mouse menagerie though. ok, im glad some of it existed. mostly the ancient stuff. *recollects ancient MM cartoons* ah yes, they even named the studio lanes after MM. All right, get off my but time.

My brain is so full. I am training for my new job and they want me to learn so fast and tomorrow I have to start training to give meds and there are so many books that things have to be documented in(I'll never learn) and so many things to remember and I love all the residents already(Please don't let me be like them). I am sad. Sad they are sick. Sad they will die from Alzheimer's Disease. Sad that I cannot make them understand sometimes, sad that they miss their families and want to go home. Sad that their bodies are betraying them.(death is ugly) Sad that they need me to help them with the basics we all take for granted. I am convinced I am never going to age ungracefully so no one will ever have to wipe my bottom while I cry out and resist because I have no control and I don't understand what is happening because I don't remember anything. (She used to be a nurse and today she wet herself and didn't know where she was)I never want dementia. I think I smell like pine sol and urine. I smell it all the time. I miss them when I have to go home. I love them all already. I am crying now. I am soooo stressed. I am used to being the top dog and knowing everything and now I feel like a newborn, having to learn all over again. So much information in my brain. I may explode. I am so tired. I work at a pace so fast and I never stop for a break because there is so much to do and I want everyone to be comfortable and have what they need and I have to prove myself. They try to escape. (While I'm changing their sheets and staring at their photographs on the wall)They head out the door like they can just get in their cars and drive home(home to their past that exists so clearly in their minds and yet is gone forever) and life will be as they remembered it. Their families don't come much. It's hard to watch your beloved person age, shrink, babble, cry, confused, maniacal, unhappy....ill. If they (sons daughters siblings)could just be there each time one of their beloved ones breaks through for a moment and is "themselves". Those times are few and far between but they come. Clear moments of recognition and play and humor. And then back in they go. Away from me. But there, still needing, food, naps, medicine, walks, love. Love. Love. Love. Love. This is at the same time the greatest and most painful thing I've ever done. I'm tired. My nose is running. I hurt. I will win. I am making a difference. I AM NEVER GETTING OLD!!!!!!!!

Ah, the reflexive vibe in action, because actually I was thinking that too. oh wait I didnt censor myself, I just said it nicely as 'That's enheduanna'. So, you don't even want to briefly explore being an exposed person? I'm finding there's much to be learned (self-discovery) from the experience.

I think I'll go get some coffee. Yeah, but I'm enjoying to this funky acid jazz on my computer.... life is so hard....

I wonder what 'stuff' she is referring to that I always think about. Social situations? I thought everyone always thought about social situations. Even if they don't, what's wrong with making up scenarios and dillemas, and trying to solve them and analyse them before they have even happened? It's fun. It's like learning about a particular person and imagining what it would be like to talk to them. It's running on an ideal. I'm like that with things too. I learned about something the other day, and was thinking about it all day, even had a dream about it. I had no interest in it before. Weird. When I climbed up on the platform and started moving stuff around, I thought I was set to fall off.

I am an exposed person with the people I choose to be that way with, people I know and trust. I don't expose myself to big groups of people online much.

I wonder what she'll say to me. I don't want to wait. She always has such insight into my soul.....do I have one.....I do...we all do...we must.....I ache now. I wish I never had to go to *work* again...I wish I could be there all day for free without actually having the responsibility of *working* there and spend the entire day just holding hands and talking and listening when the others ignore them, and helping them without worrying if I forgot to write something in a fudging book or read a friggidy chart or clean under the sink, I wish I could walk them around and around on real wandering paths instead of the small area that is safe for walking..I wish I was more confident...it's hard to care for people who don't understand...tangled brains....plague clogging the receptors...things don't get through......they loved exercizing today and we laughed and laughed and tried to follow along and the ones that did the best were the ones that are the sickest and I laughed with delight......am I fat...am I going to die.....I don't take care of my diabetes...and I'll pay later....My jeans all fit again because I'm stressed and haven't been eating...I just want to sleep all the time..Mallory...I miss her....what do i want to be when she grows up...who am I supposed to be.....tears again...UG.....why does Kristal know me so well. How does she read my mind, life, thoughts, syncronicity.....

Great! I have to lose 15 more pounds too (I've already lost 25). Want to do it together? I have a ton of tips and I need moral support!

Noise house

I'm going to have to read her comment again. maybe i'll just respond to what i see first. she doen't get what i'm referreng to. she never did. I had a dream a few nights ago that there weren't any stair rails on my porch. ok, let's read to see exactly what i saw that was so 'joalis' like. oh, i remember.. Revenge, who even thinks about revenge? 'Why are we always running out X?' negative thinking, although I do quite my own share of it within certain subjects. and the 'you never know', more paranoid seperation.

What's the risk? ¥"hey, how come i'm giving out all this stuff and you get to be so mysterious". That was the quote on the TV, that second. hmm the werewolves are experiencing a lust for evil. (reckless driving) she's cute. i have to admit i understand what they feel though i'll only let myself experience it for a split second. the majority of society doesn't bother to disconnect the thought though, im sure You recall all my thoughts are broadcast on whatever TV or radio i'm lisitening to anyhow, so the idea of privacy would be foreign to me except that most people are to ignorant to see any connection. I don't think all the thoughts on TV though. well, this show ain't to bad, but i'm over budget if i'm going to watch one of those videos. that cute gal looks just like my neighbor. the notion of sex has been occuring a lot to me lately. theres an unresolved mess. So really, what's the worst that can happen? I'm not too far off from my normal expression in this survey, and yet people like me just fine. Mandy's comment, think i'll read her first comment first, nah, then I'd have to go through several others and scatter my focus.

these special effects are lame and unnecessary, and this songs not as good to jam with as i expected. not like the lost highway soundtrack with all that rammstein and manson. mandy should appreciate that, different parts of me surface depending on who i talk to. there are so many stories of buddhas and gurus who aren't anything but the reflection of their seekers. love songs, what a nice connection to read this comment in. ¥"it's good to be king" ok, i don't need to give away everything on the tv. Why is she concerned? I wish she had more confidence. sometimes i have that insight. often it's confident luck. I can't believe this, how can she doubt having a soul, didn't i show her how to witness it? maybe she's concerned with all the manifest/ethereal, group/individual sort of soul discriminations. *pokes head up* HI *back into thought* sounds like she has similar job concerns. i dont think my path would work for her. i'm always looking for some sort of work. I lave that bass on Seinfeld. too bad I can't afford that bass sound effect. Last night, I was looking for 'program coordinator' jobs. It seems that non-profit agencies will have to cooperate to make any real headway. Plus I need to be a real insider to know what resources are available to accomplish things. and yes, i cant be trusted to do anything as procedural as these concerns you are forced to endure. Hah, show scene was funny. *reinterprets putting people on paths for her* uses her patented ** notation. plague or placque ¥"The dentist thing"? stop quoting tv. ¥"He's an importer/exporter." Mandy's one of the few who probably get's this stuff. Wondeg if G is near Q on a querty keyboard, hmmm, not that I recall. she's sure to know that if her heart were open, the issue wouldn't exist. we all go through cycles. Whoa, is that michael moore chasing kramer, that was funny, oh brother, they used it as a segway into an ad, how typical. ok, what's she up to? i live off sugar myself. she just needs to cut carbohydrates from her diet. ..and some meat fats. ooh, i know that sort of stress, or at least the symptom. that actor reminds me slightly of T. [censored topic]. M's at camp or someting if i recall correctly. so will my niece. oh , she's going through that too. My son just graduated highschool. I did a night of the over the hill thing' life reconstruction thing too. It can't be as bad your situation though. oh, theres my housing presentation concern on tv. ok, i'm being useless to mandy this moment. Oh no, tears. *HUG* Do I dare quote the tv singing 'the bare necessities'? No, way too insipid, and now what 'i' would have suggested anyhow. can't channel everything. that episode sure was a caddilac ad. How do I do it: sometimes I hear your story on the radio, doing that I also align myself to be and think like you, or I just know, take confidence that what i'm thinking is right, and then at other times, i just say reckless things, and it's your expectation of my knowing you which made it relevant, when I really hadn't a clue. ok, lets dig through the other comments now. wedding dress distraction on tv. dang, out of cola, had too much coffee, maybe some fruit juice. can't stay up all night if i'm going to bike out to the resevoir with T tomorrow. I'm glad we have a day together.

Why are they anonymous. wonder what their cell phone looks like. glad not everyone leaves partial descriptions. God, I hate this netscape 6 editor. Ops, there's divorce bend on my relationship with T on the TV. cant believe she rung a $900 cell phone bill. my god, that's horrid, hidng things like billing and realationships from your spouse. Oh, aparrently an affair forming. It could take a lot of work to talk this anonymous person through this. That must be why they're anonymous. ok, turn tv off for now, tv is a distraction unless i use it for channelling. T probably feels like this lately. she dosn't trust her new mate either. Glad i don't operate that way anymore.
Sweet, even sexually oriented attention is nothing to feel guilty about desiring or having.
A good relationship is one in which you can share all your feelings with your spouse. Your spouse shouldn't be threatened by your attractions elsewhere, and you should use that energy from relating with others to strengthen your own, otherwise it will separate you instead.

Oh, that's outrageously bad form, I love it. 'chicken' is sometimes used on guys here, not frequently though. wonder how much beer he drinks, probably just under buzzed. probably means he's borderline alcoholic. hmm, how sad, i never thought about that possibility before. he's like my brother in other ways too, come to think of it. the neighbors are all wankers, hmm, wonder if us folks on sc are wankers too. well, i know he likes me. jeez, how does a person get like that? Hey Kaleb, why are they wankers? You seem to epitomize the saying that people see others as they see themself. Just what is a wanker? too bad he doesn't find delight in sharing with others and just ignore the lame parts. glad he's playing, at least. his back probably hurts because of his attitude at the moment. Yeah, I figured he was drunk. He probably would be more reserved otherwise. ops, bad tv take on my ethereal love life (nothing to do with you kaleb). (since i know you jump to think they're talking about you). hmm. . a beer does sound sort of good, too bad a beer almost always ads two hours to my sleep requirements. bet that wouldn't be the case drinking on a hot afternoon and getting some exercise though. wonder if he's getting self-conscious being on this survey, well this will be good for him. I recall it's the fantasy of that mindset to want to know what people are actually thinking about you. hmm.. am i the only person talking out loud while reading others comments? Oh, this is funny, I can imagine him jumping up and down on the bed like a kid screaming and playing air guitar. All these definitions, he's so courteuous and presumes no one will understand him. You know, people will ask if they don't get a term. Everyones heard of bloody, i suspect. and now 'mates', how many times as he defined this already¿ Someones probably misunderstood it before and he fears being misunderstood. Oh, the guys on tv, that was almost weird. I wonder if he's like my old roommate S, who used to scream obscenities at referees on tv. god, that was hard to live with. 'Street person'? What the hell's he talking about? wonder why that's in his psyche? must be one of his hidden fears.
Hey, I got some of my parts in the mail today to build my motorized bike. I'm really looking forward to this project.

Your's was my favorite Haiku, seriously. Doe's she work at the library? oh, 'no'. ok. 'Help', gee i forgot about that night I spent with D playing side B of help. What's this negativity on tv about being stuck-up in LA about. hope it doesn't mean someone here has these thoughts of me, or i have an attitude i'm unaware of.

I hope my survey doesn't distract her. A conversation, arguement, debate, chat, or something like that. Jemmy's my internet god-niece. I'm automatically fond of her. I don't get this. Is she cheating? She didn't seem like someone who would cheat. chocolate, hmm.. not inspiring. i must have had too much already today. Yeah, I didn't think it would be so much work typing either. It's funny, after an hour in this survey, I get up to the kitchen, and i'm talking in my head about all my thoughts as if I were putting them in sentence format for others to read.

oh no. i missed this story. What happened to your neck? Why do people get bored? I guess I could go dig back in memory to a time when i was bored. perhaps because i fully immerse myself in whatever i do, and have way too much to do. I hope this survey gets more interesting. Oh no! Her boredom is wearing off on me.

oh no. she's bored too. dang, i forgot to try calling again. chips, yeah, that habit could cause cause for dieting. Yay, an episode with tess, i didnt think there were any voyager episodes i hadn't seen. she probably would have enjoyed that paramount tour with N. Who's breath? I doubt she's on a bus. Must be co-worker or something. Sand in toes, way cool, wish I had sand in my toes. maybe i should go to the beach tomorrow instead. I don't look forward to that email about missing that meeting. Thoughts wander to what her toes look like. Are my nails done lately? um, nope. she's been around for quite a while, yet never seems to inspire me to say anything. whoa, i actually have missed (or forgotten) a voyager episode. still don't seem to have anything to say to her at the moment though. Say, when's a good time to call you? How's that theater thing going?

what's this attraction to gals in pink tops i've got going lately? ok, who's next? Ah, phoebe, whoever she is with all her memorie from the 60's, at least we seem to understand each other. hmm.. that show didn't pan out as I hoped. smallville, that's us. 'I have to fly' a multiple etendre. she can dig that. Smallville, guess we have to talk about something ¥"you've filled your memory with nonsense, relationships, opera,.." (channelling voyager here), Phoebe gets to be Tess now, how sweet. Hi

ok, skip my own comments or we'll be here in recursion forever. Good grief, i've spent hours here, maybe i should start speeding through. didn't we finish that conversation long ago? They don't all mumble . no way to hide in this survey that i'm blowing her off because i've exhausted my time allotment here. I reflect everyone here. maybe she'll figure out what that means, that I say things to her that I wouldn't say to someone else, that come from her.

hmm.. why's this harder? 'back to the community', think i'll get back to her on that one. Hershey factory? is she going on a tour? Getting a job? Hey, here's a topic you should find interesting, just about no one will talk to each other on this survey. Is it fear or courtesy? Empathy might not be 'required', but without some, how can you best know how to help others? This is tiring, as it often is. I should give myself a break.

dang, forgot to wash my undies. gee, finally i get mandy's comment. Wow, cool, she's got a new job. Oh my goodness, she's got a mother theresa job. hope she doesn't burn out. i'm floored just giving it a moments though. glad to see she's on the love circuit of it all. no wonder that new (to me) voyager episode was about (holographic) alzheimers. You see, I can now use my intuition to map everything I just learned on this show to whatever you are going through. That's one of my methods. You are making an awesome difference. Bless you. gee, i never thought of them escaping. help and cuckoos nest in these comments relate too. Yeah, don't get old. Thinking young, loving life, staying interested, thinking, a physical life, new diversity - all help. Keep me posted on what you learn there. I was wondering how those other job duties commented upon relatiod to anything. should have read her first comment first.

Sounds good over there.

What's noise-house mean? Have you transcended thought?

good grief, i'm more than half this survey. Some one, Help.

Hmmm... Kristal_Rose thinks it sounds good. I guess it is good, considering it's my work... I guess I shouldn't be on SC, but it's 6:15pm, so who is going to care?

My guru promoted chanting while working. I didn't realise you were at work, but it still sounds good. ooh, suddenly hit with desire to go to sleep, time to do some work now then. gee, i hope that's not a common thought of mine. Radio keeps mentioning an 'SMC', i should ask spirit if I should be enrolling at santa monica college again.

i totally dig this survey. dig dig...i should go out and dig up that weed that appeared out of nowhere from my garden, it's huge. my garden looks well, everything seems to be coming up, excaept the sage, but that'll just take a little more time i'd imagine. time time,,, my folks have been married for 32 years today, that's alot of time together. i wish i had more time during the day, more adult time to do the stuff that i want to do that i can't do while child is awake, just artsy stuff. i should find out some stuff about cheyenne, scotty's youngest daughter, it looks as if we will be her official caretakers in august, that seems so far awway, but geez, it's just around the corner. around the corner from my house is a cool consignment shop, i love that place, but since it's consignment, everything is a tad overpriced, but one can still find a good deal or 2. i wonder if i'll find some good deals this weekend up by my folks? we're going "junkin'" on friday when i get there. sigh, i still have to pack and everything, not a biggie, but i have to pack a lot it seems for it isn't winter or summer, so i have to pack enough stuff for noah that would cover both types of weather. i wonder if we really should change the calendar? move the seasons up a month or something, for it really does seem that spring starts later than what the calendar says it does and what- not. coffee tastes good this morning, very woodsy. sigh, i so want to go to california, i need to be in the forest w/ the redwoods, just once. i wish i could go. and draw there. just sit in my silence and listen to the forest around me. it looks like i live in a forest here, i think that come fall time this one tree right in back, will turn bright red and orange, i feel spoiled. i wonder if that yogurt has gone bad? my kid better eat better today. i think that he will though. i love my kid, he's the best. he called a girl, AGAIN yesterday. i can't figure out why he gets called a girl, not a big deal, but i wonder what people see that i'm blind to. i need to focus again to see aura's again. i used to see them all of the time, but my perception at that time could only pick tones of green and amber, so everyone had those colors, but i couldn't see the whole field. must remember tpo bring my crystal this time, i travel w/ it, it's a good thing. i just read my horoscope on free will astrology, that's the only one i read, it's by a guy named rob bresney, he rocks. i feel like i know him. like he's a good friend that i get together w/ and have coffee with. i need a nother cuo a coffee, mine is cold for i'm sitting by the window. this is the kitties window, it stays open "all of the time" so they can go in and out and play around on the roof, they are so happy here, i'm glad. i know that they're happy, always purring. noah's first real word was kitty...go figure. i wish my figure was a different. thinner would be nice. i would like it if scott looked at me the way he looks at others. i wish he looked at me and thought yeah, she's cute or hot or beautiful or whatever, but he thought i was ugly for quite a long time, he's still in that mind frame i know.it hurts sometimes. i need to keep reminding myself that even thoughbwe're married and "one" that way, we are still 2 people and lead seperate paths, hard concept to grasp sometimes, for the normal stuff clouds that at times. i'm glad that it's not cloudy today, i don't mind the rain or clouds, but our garden really needed the sunshine today. i should get off this thing and get going at what i must do today, i sort of slacked yesterday, and i want to go for a walk today too.i feel good when i walk. sometimes i feel that i could walk for miles and miles and years and years, but then other times, my feet hurt too much. i don't let scott rub my feet anymore, he doesn't know how to do it, and trhta is a hard thing to teach someone, whenever i asked him to help me out w/ it, he would just put his tiredness and lethargy into me, that's rough...so i do it myself know, i always did do it myself, but sometimes you need to test the paint to see if it's still wet.

I wish we could see the survey creator's name before we answer... I know I will after I submit - but I wanna know NOW!

It's not a fear of anything. It's that I'm a private person, and I don't think just everyone is entitled to access to me. I have boundaries. Some things are personal, and I don't feel the need to share them with everyone. I'm not scared that people will reject me if I share them. I just don't need to be that intimate with that many people.

I'm a little distracted right now. Mark's (roommate) father had surgery to remove his gall bladder Wednesday and he's in ICU. It was badly inflamed. We're both concerned because his dad is 74 years old and it takes longer to spring back from surgery like that at that age.

That would be great, here's my email address as well ursulaj21@cswebmail.com we could help each other lose weight. How did you lose the 25 lbs.?

I think positive stuff too, just negative stuff is easier to think about, because I'm always thinking in argument mode. What I would say to people if I wanted to start a discussion or argument, but I don't want to, so I say it to myself, to get it out of my system. If I put positive things in here, they would be so confusing, choppy and out of order, people would wonder what I was trying to say. In positive mode, I actually pick a person (usually someone I've never met before, or a fictional character I have created) and imagine how a conversation might go if I were to talk to them. Whether I'm being positive or negative, my thinking out loud usually has some subtle hint of future-planning (for conversations that might not even happen) to it. When I think present things (I have to do chores etc) I don't think it in words, I think it in images. I could try the positive imagination mode here, but I don't know if I can think like that sitting at the computer. Maybe later.

That fridge magnet is broken. Why am I typing this. I feel daft. This is a really ugly tablecloth. What a cool survey. I can't believe I'm on the computer in the kitchen. Ooops, there goes a bus, I hope my brother wasn't on it. I have to ask Cleo what that Hawaiian meant. I should be doing some work right now. I'm going to fail my A-levels. People are getting a worrying picture of what goes on in my mind. I'd best not mention the plot to take over the world. D'oh!!!!!! Why is that light on? I hope I didn't break my brother's computer. Ick, shirts! ICK, buttons!!! I don't want to sit so close, I didn't see those before.

Best hit submit.

Submit.

I was typing a reply to kristal but the page went. I messes that up. Now i don't remember what i typed before. That's not really the point of this I suppose - those were old thoughts.

Kristal seems to be getting pretty swamped here - I hope she doesn't put too many of here enegeies into this. My typing is hopeless! But down it goes as typed. I wonder why there was a sudden improvement there? Why am I worrying about this? How many questions did I just ask in a row.

This is getting easier as a I go on, but it's weird. Oxford. Why did that just flash into my head, that's strange I must have about a zillion thought processes all occurring concurrently.

I wonder if kristal knows about teh weird [censored]. I keep meaning to mention it to her. Not here though if she doesn't know about it. What if it got abused? Might be like her to know about it and not mind. This was originaly a reply to kristal, now it's a reply about kristal.

I hope I didn't type he instead of her nywhere in this. i worry about that - sometimes i just feel like I'm replying to a masculine comment. That doesn't make sense - that thought was a feeling not in words, how was I supppised to type that down. I feel rude saying he though. I can't believe how bad my typing is, normally I type things without any mistakes, or at most a few tehs instead of thes. I'm just typing pretty fast.

School computer room. Where did that thought come from? Typing. I did a typing speed test at school. My old school. Glad I left there. Much happier now. Oh. i left my new school. Just the exams to go. Wish I hadn't left.

Monique. Oh no. Islamabad. Don't go, don't go, don't go. I can't. I don't want it. I want her to be here and safe. I hurt now. Not in words. Not in words at all. I don't want to play anymore. I feel all hot.

Don't get swamped Kristal. I can't anymore, not now. Later maybe. Don't go Monique.

My teachers boring. I am in his class and he does not seem to notice I am on the Internet. The poster in front ofmeis really colorful. Faces remind me of Roman masks. Garfield... funny... he ishanging down from a tree. gosh darn keyboard, I have press space really had to get it. Teacher is saying something and people are laughing. Don't know what's that about. He doesn'tknow how to shut up, literally.... some Pompeiiani stonesand something'there nor there'. No one cares. Everthough idiots are listening to him. Sacre blue... hehehe... French... I have an exam nextFriday. Crap, I forgot to pick up a book about mediaeval castles... she can do it herself, can't she.... mmm, canada's wonderland... yes, I am obsessed with Simpsons. I NEED A CIGARETTE!

oh no, not this survey. I have things to do this morning. cigarette. hmm.. a dream of H. forgot about her. guess she was icon of physical relationship. what triggered that, thinking of T? L's life seems as dreamy as mine does at the moment. oh right, cheyenne must live with a mom from a prior relationship. that must be weird, no weirder that my exstep-daughter/niece, i guess, and that's a delight (at times). she likes junkin too. gotta wash that rabbit for T. she was right, i did need an hour and a half, i forgot about sc. hopefully i'll be able to move next to that redwood grove. Yeah, you'd love our forests here. yechh, bad yogurt. wonder why too. hey, robs national now (he started in my hometown). L would be a natural in santa cruz. Oh no, can't imagine L needs to be thinner. she's joined the 95% who think they are too heavy. it's not her, it's being a guy, she should know that. oh, no foot skills, how sad. i don't have time to make that call. aargh. and now a siren. be peaceful. I'd love to chat, but as you see, now's not the time. what happens if I turn this machine off in the midst of replies?

oh no, not this survey. I have things to do this morning. cigarette. hmm.. a dream of H. forgot about her. guess she was icon of physical relationship. what triggered that, thinking of T? L's life seems as dreamy as mine does at the moment. oh right, cheyenne must live with a mom from a prior relationship. that must be weird, no weirder that my exstep-daughter/niece, i guess, and that's a delight (at times). she likes junkin too. gotta wash that rabbit for T. she was right, i did need an hour and a half, i forgot about sc. hopefully i'll be able to move next to that redwood grove. Yeah, you'd love our forests here. yechh, bad yogurt. wonder why too. hey, robs national now (he started in my hometown). L would be a natural in santa cruz. Oh no, can't imagine L needs to be thinner. she's joined the 95% who think they are too heavy. it's not her, it's being a guy, she should know that. oh, no foot skills, how sad. i don't have time to make that call. aargh. and now a siren. be peaceful. I'd love to chat, but as you see, now's not the time. what happens if I turn this machine off in the midst of replies?

No.

I require more inspiration. It doesn't look like there is any shortage of verbiage on this page. You're getting along just fine without me.

I'm not cheating. I don't even know how to cheat on a survey. Actually, I don't know how to reply on this survey. Am I doing it right? I wonder how you make the letters look like that. This cookie tastes stale. I'll have to buy some new ones.

I can't do this. How do you reply and type your thoughts at the saem time?

yeah, cheyenne is the 2nd daughter of scott's first real relationship w/ this chick named marlena. she doesn't live w/ mom anymore, her and her sis got taken away by the state last year. i hate to think of marlena. she's pregnant again, the state wants this baby too. stupid state, why can't they just stay out of things. i know he compares me to her. i feel weepy all of a sudden, i don't know why. listening to janis. love her. the song is little girl blue. god do i love her. she has the best voice ever. so much of herself comes out in song. i admire that, that she could show her soul to the world, w/o fear, even though she was a "geek" so to speak. speaking w/ the phone people upset me. threatening to cut us off if we don't make arrangements by midnight tonight. i hope that i don't see midnight on the clock tonight. it's rough seeing midnight, and then 2 a.m. then 4 a.m. one would think that noah would be past that getting up every couple of hours bit, but he's not yet. no biggie. i just bring him in bed w/ us. but that's gotta stop too, i just need to be diciplined in staying awake long enough to put him back down in his own bed. i drank a pepsi today, something that i rarely do, i feel sick from it, evil stuff ina can. i know i know about the 95% thingy, it's hard to get out a old pattern old habit though, one that has haunted you since you were merely a child. i need to really meditate on that idea, see exactly where it comes from. reminds me of the song wildnight, the line that says, the girls walk by dressed up for each other, how true, but that's not me, but i feel that i'm in a competition w/ them all...sucks...child is napping, i shouldn't be on here, i should be reading or something, or napping myself. i should figure out what the heck i'm making for dinner, but that always seems to be a waste, for he is always not hungry or says eech and wants something else, darn carnivores, makes me eat the flesh, otherwise i go hungry or have to make something else for myself anyhow, don't like making 2 things at dinner, what a pain. he needs to figure out though, that things will be different when chey gets here. dinners will be planned w/ the help of her, so if he doesn't like it, tough, he'll just have to deal.not really into techno music. a friend spins at some clubs around the area. he says that scotty and i should come out. can't cause i got a kid. no one to babysit either, unless i want to travel 170 miles to my folks and drop kiddo off there. oh well... no big loss, i did enough going out and partying while i was a teen. when i look back at those years, i wonder why i had as many "friends" as i did, prolly because i always had a sack of grass to share. but you know how it goes, once the grass goes so does the friends.

yeah, my friend you're doing it right, just type what ever comes to mind and don't stop to think about what you're saying, don'y worry about spelling or oucntuation, or anything just let your mind type...

Oh...

Okay! Yay

This is the map-out:

1) Pick your FitnessStart day. Saturdays, Sundays and Mondays are the best.
2) Drink 16 glasses of water a day as a minimum.
3) Eat more fruits and vegetables a day than anything else: then protein, then lactose and then carbohydrates. Never eat more than 1,200 calories and write down every single thing you eat each day, as your "Food Diary" and beside it how many calories it is. Examine your hunger: real or emotional?
4) Do at least 4 hours of intensive work-outs a week. 5) Weigh yourself once every week before you eat or drink anything to check your progress, but not more.

Sounds good, except the water part I hate water, but I'll do it.

Try drinking it at room temperature instead of freezing cold. It's easier to take. I also often take mine with some citrus, like plain old lemon juice Your body gets used to it and after 2 weeks of gulping down a gallon daily you feel dehydrated if you don't anymore.

Okay, I'll try some lemon juice in there. I usually drink more water if it's at room temperature. Thanks confetti you're on. Let's shake

It was the first 2 words that came into my head. http://richardwyndham.tripod.com/

One of these days I'll get around to working out the html code for italics and bold. I guess I do chant while working sometimes, but only when I'm doing something repetitive.

I was in a car accident on Monday. I had been stopped at a red light for awhile when a lady came up behind me and I guess she didn't notice that me or the other cars around me were all stopped. She rear ended me hard. Anyway, only whiplash. I'm much better today (Thursday). I actually got to go to work today.

What's on my mind huh? My eyes are burning, not that i'm tired. I mangaged to sleep from 6:30 yesterday evening until my alarm went off at 9:00am this morning. I've been sleeping a lot lately. I just don't have what it takes to make it through the day. I think i'm depressed... don't want to go to the doctor though. Can't stand the idea of sitting face to face with someone telling them what I worry about. What if I spill my guts and they just look at me and think how stupid it is that I let all these dumb things freak me out. I miss my family, it's been 3 months and 4 days since i've seen them. I want to go home but I just barely make enough money to pay bills let alone buy a ticket. I hate my ex-boyfriend. He called last night. butt-hole acts like everything is okay... god I really hate him. I'm sick and tired of working so much, I wish I could get a new job. I should really shut up now before yall think i'm totally nuts...

egad this survey keeps me busy. roll a smoke. no, not weed, filter tube kit. just got home bicycling lagoons tear the marina. bathroom? shower? accident, oh jeez, lets start at the top. Yeah Zang, but it's all me. That's no fun. wonder if this survey is going to help anyone. oh yeah, got joalis's comment on 'giving back' to flesh out. hmm, i never saw myself doing this role when I was young. Disney, new cities, none of this people stuff. or woman stuff for that matter. that was a nice ride. too bad T's new lover is possesive. Too bad I'm taken. Yeah, I guess so.

Not on the survey, on your exam. Sheesh, bubbleheads, do i need to be clearer? well, her comment is a reciprocal of grmbrands comment. we have balance. cheat on a survey, there's something I would have never thought of. ahh, but I bet a lot (not alot, kaleb) are looking to cheat on this one. ooh, theres something i can help with.. To make things italic, put your words between this (i), and this (/i), but use the pointy brackets like this < and this > instead of ( and this ). To make it even faster I first type both bracket sets {i}{/i}, copy it with CTRL-C, then paste in a pair with CTRL-V whenever i want to type thoughts. i hope shes getting this, i'm sure someone else could have explained it easier. umm.. bet i'd even enjoy a stale cookie. i live on nachos. huh, she seems to be having diificulty. Well, here sweetheart, you Just type everything that runs through your head. The sentences that you would comment to someone type normally, and use italicization or parentheses or something for all the words you would never say out loud. If you don't have any thoughts other than what you normally comment, (and sometimes I don't), then just type normal. If some of your thoughts aren't in words, but *answers door* Darn, why can't he sell single baskets of strawberries, who on earth buys a whole box unless they're making jelly, or have a family of ten? if you're thinking in pictures, you might use mandy's notation, like this "*envisions huge strawberry shortcakes with whipped cream*" Jemmy reminds me a bit of strawberrys, and strawberries often remind of sex - umm, dont start to go there *recalls feasting on sugared strawberries with the first gal I slept with after marching all day in the parade - and how mom walked right in on us - then how she gave D and I her bedroom for what was roughly our honeymoon* Dang, there's J. I can't believe I'm the only one who finds 16 year olds attractive. You don't think two thoughts exactly at once; Just type comments and thoughts in whatever order they come in. It's called 'stream of consciousness' writing.

Oup, here's a long one. Perhaps I should minimize my reaction, and not have so much to type. ok let's check it out. *blinks bad impulse - car honks in response* 'Marlena', theres a funny name, oh, this is going to take forever. Maybe I just won't type everything. no, i want to keep the experiment pure as long as i can. again? oh no, it gets more serious, i might have to turn on the radio and get help on this one. *turns radio on* Oh great, capitalist/environmental/failures on top of it all. Good, there quoting my position (as a chris). yeah, why don't you talk about the specific examples going on. four people talking at once on two levels, I'm going to frazzle if I stay in this mode. *sends blessing to radio news and turns radio off* *start's to agree, thinks broader* Yeah, but they do as much good as harm in general. takes away to where? like they have a better living arrangement. some street-wise/nun polarity, the kids better off with a stoned mom. *changes out of swimsuit, uses toilet, thinks more on matter, recalls jalapenos, sends golden halo prayer out to kids overheard* even if mom's a stealing addict, at least the kid would be taught heartfelt that it's not supposed to be that way. more than a street/'home' would convey. scotts with you, it could have been your kid, what do you expect. feeling is proper. *feels a bit of tear too.* my god, someone still listens to joplin? *recalls growing stack of joni mitchell vinyl and jerome, az possibility* oh god, this gets bleak. her sorrow connected to her own affairs. I love that song, especially the version with michelle n'degliano or whatever her name is. I love that song. why not talk, that's what i'm here for after all. I love being admired and admiring other gals over attire. It's a great excuse to complement people and pass some love to a perfect stranger. Fortunately I never discovered the competiton thing. Perhaps if I was competing with them in other arena's, but I don't. I don't believe competion wins anything. Honest communicative confidence. What does anyone else have to do with whethar you land a relationship or job or something¿ If you don't get, it was their turn, and something better will inevitably come through for you. why are they suffering on the phone bill, maybe i can help there. oh right, they got a house. I pay between $32 and $100 for my phone, depending upon how much I call Alaska. It would be $6 if I called no one (and my internets another $20). I hope you don't order all those lame extra services for the complicated jet-set wannabees. her mom probably can't afford the long distance either. wonder if she does the cell phone while shopping thing? Those 12¢ a plate 3 course meals D used to make for the family sure impressed me. People spend all this money on cars and phones and stuff, and can't even afford to eat right. bet she eats potato chips. wasn't someone just mentioning that here? would explain the zits. wonders what a good veggie diet for kids might entail. not vienna sausages. gross, i used to love bratwurst, bet i still would at a nice german restaurant. *Thinks 'Love' - hears kid say 'Yay.'* *passes impulse to cancel good thought* Do they think this is weird? reminds me of todays chat with T about cola and raves. Fudge, 170 miles! make friends with some neighbors for gods sake. Are you finding any other parents in the neighborhood? thought that was why they moved out there in the first place. wonders if anyone else comments in this survey on what they really think about folks here. Ah here she describes exactly the crowd i just envisioned spoiling her trust in babysitter friends. You need to find a new crowd, folks who play board games, garden, hike with the kids, play music to a bottle of wine or two, but save the intense partying for special planned occasions. she probably has that figured out, probably only affords a yearly concert preceded by a trip to mom's though. bummer. Well, best of luck. *considers second shower, feeling sticky after ride, laundry, this is bad, no undies, hope i have quarters, better start some before i miss another laundry curfew. whoa start some now in the midst of replies, that would be some discipline.

I am thinking of him again. I called him twice today, I wish I could see him or chat with him. This is too hard to deal with. I know that he does not see me as anything other than a challenge. I think. Maybe. I don't know. He told me yesterday that he felt like he was not very important to me, that he hated feeling like he is the "other man". I hate it too. It is silly to think that anything could ever come of our relationship. God I wish I could get him out off my head.

hope kaleb didn't get scared away after he sobered up. the reply screen crashing sure helped my timeliness this morning. what a perky flouescent pink floral ganesh piggy bank i keep my laundry quarters in. wonder if anyone reads all this survey. good grief, glad I started the laundry, this could take all night *note to self, bring down screwdriver to repair laundry handle* What were the first two words, Richard? rarghh, hope his link has something. ok, let's make it have something, ah, with a bit of love in it. - Hare Krshna, duh, what did I expect. oh wait, maybe he's referring to an earlier comment. a link, this is my karma for giving the housing director a link to my urban renewal site. hold on here richard, i've got research prior comments now. Ah 'noise house'. I take it that was your reaction, but what did you really mean when you thought it? ok, that wasn't too bad. where is this guy really at? why's he hung up on the links? he says hare krshna anyhow, better to say it in person than where it means little to anyone. does he always mean it? get a life richard. boy that was mean, this guy could be as sweet as krshna himself, still, as long as we're people, their are people ways to interact that cross more borders. oup, here come my helicopters, bet he doesn't have to contend with that when scrutinizing his thoughts for darkness. bet his universe doesn't cave in at times. wonder what he's seen though. he's probably bypassed all the planes of knowledge and gone straight for the heart center. hope he doesn't spend all his time alone. i'm glad we at SC still share some comaradery with him, and presume his prayers are with us. wonder if he's the same richard i met that night on telepathic chat? too long ago to recall the details. let it pass. he'll comment if there's anything i really need to know. Yep, right on. it's a noise house all right. hmm.. maybe I should be quiet, get that magnetic halo thing going. *sends formless prayer to passing neighbors* *recalls spontaneously learning buddhist bow upon meeting them*.

I once did my best computer programming while absorbed in a worship loop with my rock radio, only vaguely even aware I was engaged in work at all. I've probably told him that one a few times by now. This is our topic in workshop these days. It's been years since I was that immersed in that plane. I should set myself up for it again. hmm, i think i have been. These experiences i teach are getting old, and the new ones are less stable. ..Can't really pass them on with any recommendation. Read my comment to Jemmy. Italics are easy, just throw an i in angle brackets, your text, and a /i in angle brackets. I heartily recommend saving all 7 characters for pasting between thoughts.

Hare Krishna!

When is Kristal-Rose going to work out that I'm female? now it's time to try italics. will this come out bold? I think it's time for lunch, but I have lots of work to do. Makes it kind of irrational that I'm checking SC, but that's what I do at the start of my lunch break, so off I go.....

Yay, she's started perky, wonder what she's got to say. *Yow - cognitve dissonance clobbers me* - (and alarm goes off for laundry phase). hmm.. someones got their laundry waiting, guess there goes doing all three loads tonight. Should I find them and hurry the process? bet oscar's doing laundry too, or at least considering it. Hmm.. sounds like the sort of misfortune she would attract. should i ask what led up to this? nah, too complex for her understanding. 'Ha', where'd that part come in from? I must have made some comment earlier. *feels helpless* I ought to say something nice; i'm sure she's hoping for a response. Yikes! Last time I got rear-ended it was the answer to our midwife dilemna (since I could do the repairs myself and use the money). Biking with T today sure upset my flow through traffic. wonder what oscar was avoiding? ..not work appently. perhaps she needed a moment of perspective. i bet -she isn't typing all her thoughts out. how can you go through that and not have some big time thoughts? a: because you don't see connections in such stuff in the first place. well, i'm she looks like someone who will see quite a lot someday if she doesn't become an isolated housewife and simply concentrate on making life easy while it becomes more and more empty and she sees her moms life in herself. gad, hope i'm not way off base, spreading bad thought seeds. that was definitely a comment i would have kept to myself *sadness kicks in, feeling i'm right, but can't really help* well, i've helped her a bit, and thank god she's become more of a robust centered creature, unafraid of her sexuality and such. check laundry. *over hears new neighbor saying 'dude, you are crazy, saying all this crap'* You work in an office don't you? I hope this survey teaches people about our similarities and differences, and mostly about how we all go through internal junk, even with the people we love, and should therefore accept even each others gripes with each other and such. i'm still not convinced much of anyone else is exposing themself though. on the other hand, maybe they really aren't thinking anything more. who knows. after all, *searches for super-italicization* they could all be an illusion.
how appropriate, she starts with a HA, I end with one. Wonder if Nthensome will show up here? Tonight feels good for one of those videos. Perhaps I should call T. Well, nice chatting with ya (what little i did) hmm.. that italicization indicates I, end I. how appropriate. Not that i'm really less I [dark censored ambiguous grumble](in parallel with noise in yard) when I speak out loud. Hope that neck gets well quick. Say, do you ever go out dancing? there's a charming picture, hope its only incentive to get well. You know, there was a time I was crawling from room to room (probably told this one too often too) really, i've been repeating myself for a couple years here now, hope it's of some use. with a herniated disc, and decided to turn my life around, to go out cheerleading fireworks at the fireworks displays being the fireworks and go out dancing, rock climbing and such instead. It takes willpower and a love of life. which it look like you might have going - hopefully.

crack up spotting kalebs 'chicken' comment again. god, i love him. spots smallville comment, bet it's on now too, let's check. huh, no. guess i'm thinking next to gilmore girls which moved to tuesday. good to open the heart once in awhile. *meows back at cat* *meows more and pets cat* dud night on tv,too bad gilmore girls happens on workshop night. *thinks of daughter who doesn't get show up there* *wonders briefly if I have best possible relationship with her* glad i have videos, wonders if *reconsiders third person narrative style* - i wonder if i have time to watch them? looks at bike wheel project. i'll probably be up all night researching bike parts. when am i ever going to have time to write and post social reform papers and work on the viewmaster auctioning?
Dang girl, not to big on the trust scene, are we? You know it's public material no matter who created the survey. i hope she wrote more. her stuff get's insightful and clever. wonders if she's actually [name undisclosed]. oh, and there's a comment to [name undisclosed]. she seems bright enough to pull it off and the right age. Which would make the arguements really rich. I feel like i'm muttering. This is not good.

*visualises all biggles has to say, thinks bus/motorhome projects from earlier today, glad she likes the survey* it seems everyone thinks they should be doing something else when they are here. wonder if they've considered the possibility that this is closer to our purpose, and it's the work which is a distraction.
Actually I was sort of breezing through it all with no reaction. It reminds me of that beatles song, 'day in the life', which was a rather zen outlook on rushing to work. I use that '[censored]' option when thoughts remotely resembling 'taking over the world' enter my head. ok, her comments at the 18 page downs juncture. ah 18 = the moon card, yeah, i can see tthat in her. What's she looking at? Is her brother slimy? But why hit 'submit'? anxious to leave?

wonders about typing in the thoughts from the last few minutes of activity. sees biggles comment on why bother with old thoughts. relates this whole activity to OCPD, beng john malkoveitch, and the time i tape recorded every thought for a week for a conceptual art class i had. well, the old thoughts have become the current thoughts, ie dang T uses a lot of sarn wrap. what should i expect, she uses 15 paper towels at once, war and wealth can do that i suppose, she wassn't raised by starving irish like i was.
Thank you for noticing and caring. I had no idea this would be work. I expect I can keep up until everyone burns out on it, somewhat like the '¥ Be the Radio' survey. That I respond to everyones comment actually swamps me less than if everyone here talked to each other as i hoped they would. What's your take on why that's not happening? wow, what a cool irish sea monster this bite of nachos looks like. The weird...?? Global spirit vortex? political event? might be something i know about. who knows? wish her hint was a bit better. Shifting perspective, it's to be expected in this environment. I find it strange that people have difficulty with this, for me, it's pretty much what I do anyhow, i just leave out more details. like this cool harmonica on the radio which i just turned on hoping to channnel what this 'weird' thing she mentions is. hope she doesn't think i'm omniscient or something. I prefer to hear 'she', but if some of my comments feel masculine (not sexual, just masculune), you're right. I slide across the spectrum, through gender, personality, and consciousness. I meet some people who can tell, and use he or she depending who i am that moment. Dance with me. whoo, didn't see that one coming. Train of thought i guess. She's my idea of attractive, come to think of it, though i never think in her of such terms. nor anyone else here for that matter. perhaps that's an unfortutnate mistake. oh well, i don't like getting into that arguement as much as a i do. considers apology for talking behind her back out loud. nah, sure she did, but she understands the rules of the survey. *listens to very sexy blues love song* wonder if she forgot my preference is for women. that dream of H, gad, thought she was vaporized from recall. This whole sexual awareness has been becoming prominent lately.maybe it's time to start giving it some consideration. well, biggles is cross the sea, and this is most irrelevant. At least i'm not thinking about [name undisclosed] [thought undisclosed]
Monique?, well I spotted that as a warning against going out with my iraqian girlfriend this morning (which i totally ignored), or renewing my courship interest in her (often surrounded by warnings). I've been about six months ahead of the news, though rather scattered. I don't want to risk false accusations, but everything falls into place just as I imagine. All I can do is pray against that sort of event.
*returns from trip for cigarettes* wish i knew what this 'monique' things means seems serious. radio says 'one eye burning in the middle of the night' Later. *contemplates what biggles would be like in a relationship - thinks probably pretty darn sweet*

hmm.. this looks more dismal than what my own kids go through. Pompeii was fabulous. The air was golden back then. People danced to the stars and seasons without worrying about it's passage. Iseult doesn't know what's she missisg. maybe she has a boring instructor. wonder what.. So what do you find intersting? My son isbored with video games. Thank goodness, he was a natural at guitar. I was beginning to worry he'd have nothing in life. He has no plans, no goals, no dreams, no college major or career interests. What about you? How do they go on like this? How dreary Well, maybe at least it's less superficial if they can get into some sort of buddhist satori, tripping out on whatever comes there way. nah, they're bored. They don't plan on things coming their way. course i'm generalizing. castles, cool. I might be heir to a castle, it's a fairly remote chance that it's availbale since the nazi rise and fall, though. I tried out for a job drawing the Simpsons. One of my neighbors worked there (the comic book). and I also met a writer for the show that first week. I was good, but way way too slow at drawing. i have so little connection with her.

oh sweetness, LL's coaching Jemmy. Poor thing sweetly worrying about how to respond of all things. This conversation between kate and zang is hilarious.
That sounds like a diet that would actually work. i'm getting tired, i should start that video. oh cool, a metaphysical radio show's starting. that probably means as much to her as her exercise program means to me.

oh, heres a boat i know all too well, at least i have no problems communicating what's on my mind (as you can probably tell ) A ton of people have all those thoughts. That's sort of the point about this survey. Express deeper (radio is quoting my thought's at the moment). We all think this stuff, yet so many people think they are alone with their garbage. No need to censor here. I have the sleep thing at times. I find it takes discipline to 1) treat yourself right and get out of the house, so you get on a roll and escape the atrophy of your life. 2) Get rid of your obstacles quickly with a light heart instead of immersing yourself in them as a burden. I have the 'funds to visit my kids' issue to. That can be a real bummer. So what's up with your ex? Maybe he's trying to make everything ok by acting ok. Were you hoping he'd say he's unhappy being apart?