Do you think it would be better if it was acceptable to talk to yourself (think out loud) in public?

You mean it isn't? No wonder people give me funny looks!

No

Do people really give you funny looks? That's what the question was about. Would it be better if everyone could go around talking to themselves and no one would care. I have a feeling a lot of people will misunderstand my intentions in the question.

Why not?

My imaginary friend and I have some great talks in public. If more people talked to themselves, we wouldn't be able to hear each other as well.

How is a person talking to themselves any worse to the observer than 2 people having a conversation. Why should anyone care?

Oh,yes! Oh,yes! Oh,yes!

I don't care if it's acceptable or not. I notice people talking to themselves in public from time to time. I don't think these people are crazy. I've been known to think out loud. I don't think I do it in public, though.

No. It's weird.

I talk to myself at home - mainly if I'm doing revision because it helps to lock things in my mind. My family do give me funny looks about that sometimes, but I think they understand. My older brother doesn't like to hear me do it when he's at home because he's living with a schizophrenic guy who really does talk to himself. It makes him uneasy I suppose.

I think I'd find it irritating more than weird if people did talk out loud to themselves. I have a friend who is just constantly talking - I'll be in a lesson and she'll just be going on in my ear the entire time while I'm trying to take in new chemistry! That she does it doesn't make her seem mad, but it does really annoy a lot of people.

i dont neccecarily think its unacceptable, people just think its wierd.

This might seem strange, but I think it would be a better society if people who were in their own head could walk around and not be outcast or bothered. There's too much emphasis on everyone being a part of what's going on around them. People would be able to walk around like robots if they want. Deep in thought, talking to themselves, unaware of people and whatever. Other people should just consider them part of the atmosphere, not get distracted or notice them like they stand out. I wish people could completely be themselves without standing out.

Well, true. I was just stating my opinion that talking to one's self is a little weird. I didn't expect you to make such a big deal out of it.

Yes. I love to talk to myself.

OK. I didn't mean to make a big deal out of it. It's one of those individuality topics I like a lot. I think people think it's weird because they assume the person has an 'imaginary friend' or some other kind of delusion they are talking to. Thinking outloud is different. Sometimes I imagine how I would word things if I should decide to say them to another person. It's a whole lot easier and feels more 'natural' if I do that outloud. It feels natural and almost instinctual to do it. I thought more people had that in their nature. If a whole lot of people have it, it seems reasonable for society to accept it. It's called 'prototalk' or something like that. I call it 'rehearsing articulation.' Even if you never end up saying it to another person, it feels good to get it out- out loud.

OK, sorry I misunderstood you. I do that, too. I often think out loud, and if I want to remember something, I will say things like "I am turning off the oven." That way, I don't spend my time on the way to the mall or wherever wondering whether I turned off the oven. But, walking down the street actually conversing with yourself is quite another thing.

I think there's a difference between conversing with yourself and talking to yourself in the thinking outloud sense. If you see a person who sounds like they are responding to another person ("Yes" "I disagree" etc) as though they are one part of a two way conversation, that would be enough to wonder about the person. If they are walking around mumbling matter of fact statements ("I think I like the red rug better"), or putting together an argument or monologue, it's an entirely different thing.

you mean it's not?

I do this all the time. No one seems to mind.

Absolutely! I totally agree with you.

No. I think I would punch people after a while.

I think it's already OK to talk to yourself quietly. It might be nice if it were a little more normal, just because people tend to do it a bit anyway.

I think that this is going to become more acceptable due to the use of those remote cell phone ear plug thingys. The first few times I saw someone using one of those things, I assumed that they were off their meds.

Cell phone earpieces insure that the voices in your head are your friends!

Yes. I do this at times and have to keep telling myself to quit it.

We all talk to ourselves out loud where I work....

Which ones? The loudest ones?

The closest one to me when the breakdown hit!

Why would there be a breakdown? You don't like ambvient voices?

*covers her ears*

Jabber jabber jabber. mumble mumble whisper whisper mumble jabber.

sorry.

I wouldn't be able to think straight with all that going on, (unless I was in a well connected state), but it sure would be interesting. Personally, I don't think much in words, so it wouldn't make a difference if you could hear me or not.

Excellent survey. For me, it's additional work to put feelings about two visions of rugs into words. Mandy and I might end up back to back taking on the crowd when we cracked. Can people intentionally shut down your thought processes by singing, whistling, humming or whatever? I have a couple relatives that do that to me for kicks on occasion. Oh, the first targets would be ones with negative thoughts, or thoughts that were almost like mine 'hmm, I think I prefer the red rug, no let's take the one with the flouresent squid.' Runs screaming AAhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Get them out of my head.
{in the well connected state I mentioned, if I preferred the red rug, they'd say just that, and nothing about squid.}

NO. I respect peace and its automatic to look at a person if they start speaking.

It would be noisier. But really, people in Boston seem to have no problem with keeping a running monologue...

How are people more annoyed and distracted by someone talking solo than 2 or more people having a conversation? I have a few theories. 1) People conversing in public is already distacting, that many more people talking would be that much more destracting 2) You don't really know what they are talking about, because people aren't detail specific when they think out loud. 3) It's so bizarre that it grabs your attention.

I am more inclined to the third theory, which is why it would be cool if it wasn't bizarre.

I don't like the fact that I can think totally clearly when no one is around, but when I am around people, I can't put the same kinds of words together to explain something. If I could say it to myself while people are around, it might make it easier when I actually want to explain it to another person.

Even if they are talking to another person, you look at them? Or just when they are alone?

Anytime. If you sitting quiet and someone speaks then you look to see if they are talking to you. I don't stare. Just checking. If they are talking to someone then you look away as its private and not for you. If they are talking to themselves then you look away so as not to attract their attention incase they are a crazy!

More revealing is how annoying it is to be in the same carriage (bus, train, etc) with someone who is talking in a foreign language. Its disturbing.

I think this is more to do with the inability to eavesdrop. Its just unfamiliar noise. With recognisable speech you can just tune out. I don't know why that is. But I find it difficult to tune out of foreign speech.

No, it's like people talking on their mobile phones out loud in public. It's inconsiderate, distracting and annoying. Doubly so if you're talking to yourself. I can read without saying the words out loud, and I can think to myself without saying the words out loud (ok.. well without saying them out *loud*). I'll admit I mutter to myself sometimes, but it's quiet and unintelligible.

A man sitting next to me on the bus today was whistling!!! It was *so* annoying!

Seems kind of neurotic to me. People talk to themselves. Everyone does it. You may not realize you do it but think about it for a day or so and you'll realize it. Still though, it's not a public activity.

I don't really have any interest in what people are talking about, so it's easier for me to tune out foreign speech than English.

I do it at home, but I *wish* it was a public activity. It's not neurotic.

Why is inconsiderate to talk on a cell phone in public?

It's not acceptable? I do it all the time though!:( Now I'll be sad...

I had some of your issues years ago. I did have a verbal dialogue going on in my head. I was either rehearsing for a conversation, like explaining to my boss what state my work was in and why, or even if something strange happened in my life, I'd be rehearsing explaining it to whoever itseemed I'd be most likely to talk about it with. Unless I'm gathering thoughts for a lecture, I hardly do such thinking at all anymore. Those few eloquent zingers I do come up with still disappear when the opportunity to vocalize them comes up anyhow. I have a lot more time to think now that I'm not silently explaining myself to reality all the time. Better than being plugged into a prewritten speech, be plugged into the original experience and the state of the person you are talking to at the moment. I can get into ancient subject matter with a person and find myself using quotes I had rehearsed so often back then, like when talking about the citroëns I worked on.. "you can go over speed-bumps or railroad tracks at any speed and just get a feeling like bobbing in an elevator" (I just threw in 'bobbing'), but the point is that it's an embarrassment between my guest and I to rely on such a quote. It's a moment of broken tape-recorder in which I am not living, off in some construction of my own rather than sharing anew reliving of the experience with them. Look at it from a viewer perspective.. sales people are boring. Their words live in a cul-de-sac that does not include you. Even if you mastered recall of those rehearsals when the opportunity to use them arrived, you'd be seen as a robot. Be yourself, in the moment, with others.. not some fabrication of yourself targeted at your fabrications of others. (gee, that one would could justify a psychotherapists couch-session fee.) *devolves into rehearsing new quote*.
Stop 'trying', stressing, and being concerned with how the other is interpreting you, and love what you're talking about at the moment, then the words will flow much much more eloquently. Another thing to keep in mind, the world is full of zillions of events like someone falling into the basket of easter eggs. What's usually important to a freind is not the story itself, but the time shared telling it. If you're living in personal memory instead of sharing with a freind you've blown that. That old quote about it not being important is usually true. You or I might think it paramount that we not forget to tell our freind how an incident we had at a waterfall was so much like the one they mentioned, but think about it, they've already had something similar, it's "I can provide what intrigues you or fits/expands your memory.", or worse "please acknowledge I am different than you". Let that go. Stop making your ego an issue and appreciate them instead. That will get you much further than any fabricated attempt at having them appreciate you. They'll figure out you by how you figure out them.
We'll get that cocoon off you someday.

I agree with icurock on the cellphones. Again, it's like 'I'm trying to decide which brand of fruit juice to buy right now, not think about whethar your aunt's will get along at the brunch tomorrow.' 'Do I need to know this? If not, couldn't you have discussed it in your car instead?'

Why are you even listening to someone on their cell phone talking about their aunts? Don't you hear people talking about their aunts or whatever when they are both there? I don't see how a cell phone is any different. Let's say you are in a food court. Over at one table there are two people discussing the most disgusting juicy gossip about their acquaintences. At another table there's someone on a cell phone talking about his brother's gambling addiction. Who do you hear? How is the cell phone talker any different than the two gossippers? Why do you notice the phone conversation more than the face to face conversation?
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When I rehearse what to say, it's usually not stuff so simple as someone falling into a basket of eggs. It's usually things that are harder to explain, or theories and ideas I've just come up with.

I don't hear the cell phone more than a face to face conversation. When people are face to face, i think of it as their time together to be respected as a sweet thing, but I have difficulty extending that acceptance to peoples work or home management which could have happened elsewhere. I wouldn't want a cell phone myself. I got one once and made 2 calls from home just to test it out. When I'm shopping, I want to be shopping. When I'm talking with a freind or relative, I want to be picturing what's going on there, or in their or my mind, not a bunch of grocery advertisements. When I go to a fast-food restauraunt, I eat out on the lawn so I don't have to listen to everyone else. Only when I wish to turn my mind off and float through everyone else's instead, do I sit in common areas, and that's rather rare. I don't have much control over selective listening; unless I'm deeply engrossed in what I'm saying, doing, or thinking, I'll hear anyone talking about their aunts. When I was a programmer working in a common area with other programmers, I was the help person; If someone leaned over to mention to their neighbor that there wasn't an easy way to some alpha-sort, I'd speak up and tell them a method. I was part of everyone's conversation, but not able to concentrate much on my own work. Most of my actual personal assignments happened during overtime when no one was around.

Uh, it's not? That might explain a lot.

I hate to cut straight to the chase BUT most cell phone users are wankers!
Seriously.

If my hated thing goes off I go and stand in a corner to talk I do not walk down the street brandishing the damn thing barking loudly to the person on the other end. It is anti-social joalis, on public transport certainly!

YES it is rude to bark into it loudly. But those are the cell phone users you notice. What about the ones who use a cell phone on public transit, but not loudly? And how is it "anti-social"? I think it's *more* social because you spend more time talking to your friends, instead of sitting there blankly staring at strangers.

So, what could a person be talking about on a cell phone that would make it seem worth accepting? Some people think everyone on a cell phone should be talking about something important. Don't ask me why. They say "What could be so important that it can't wait?" I say it doesn't have to be important. I could talk about stained glass sailboats or having a fun weekend. You seem the opposite of the other folks. You like hearing people have pleasant conversation, and would rather not hear someone talking about which contractor to hire, or who picks up the dry cleaning.
What could a cell phone user do to gain people's respect and acceptance?

Yes. I'm always talking to myself or to other things that "aren't really there" Haha.

The thinking was business could be done at work, and society doesn't give enough time to personal affairs. If I heard someone talking about stained glass sailboats, it would be a cue that I should do more work on the website for the sailing charter.
The way I see it, people with cell phones are infringing upon my right to think in public. If they're going to do that, they should at least fill my head with cheerful things. When people used payphones, they were located somewhere where you generally weren't. When you're talking about stained glass sailboats are you giving your friend full attention (personally I think people talking with each other should be devoted to the conversation, not having their attention wander), and if so, then how do you give your attention to what you're doing at the moment. It seems very inefficient to me.

The schizophrenics could be wandering around with cell phones now, and we'd never know who they were.

There's a sailing charter on your website? Cool. I love sailboats. I used stained glass sailboats as an example because I want one.
They are infringing on your right to think? I don't understand that. When you are out in public, theres constant chatter going on all around you. A cell phone user makes that much of a difference?
I can do both. I talk on the phone at home while on survey central, holding a baby and waiting for water to boil, and answering a question someone is asking right next to me. I find it highly efficient. I think talking to someone while doing nothing else feels too slow. When I eat at the mall, I'd rather walk around and scarf down the food than to sit down in the food court, if I'm by myself. If I happen to be by myself, and stuck in the food court for whatever reason, I'd rather be talking on a cell phone also, than to just be eating.

re: your comment to Zang. ...unless their phone rang.

I meant talking to yourself in public is something I perceive as kind of neurotic.

About rehearsing conversations... that seems so familiar. Kind of comforting in a way. I've actually had some of those same thoughts. Sounds like you are where I'll be some day.

I have thought that I wish I could live more in the moment and be wordy when I need to be wordy but it's hard. It's a skill I've never developed. I realize I'll have to work to develop it and that I am neglecting work in that direction.

Though, in the same regard I realize that sometimes I am eloquent when I need to be.

Reminds me of a poem I wrote a few days ago.

"Hello Other Minds"

(That's it). I don't know how I can call it a poem but I do.

I do it all the time.Always have.I really don't care who's listening while I'm doing that........besides wouldn't they be eaves dropping on a private conversation with myself???

I hope you didn't misunderstand anything. Eloquence comes from a mood. Define yourself as natural, confident, plugged-in, on a mission, admired, whatever it takes, with a basic outline and goal of your material in mind, then let it flow. Word-smithing in advance can get ackward; the surrounding context might not exist at the time, and certainly tenses and such will be different (more especially when in dialogue than a speech). Your 'Hello Other Minds' was the substance I hoped you'd get. ..and the way to get there is not to create an analytical construction of your own substance. You commented elsewhere on 'rehearsal', and although what you said had some truth in a segment, it didn't pertain everywhere. Specifically, if you are intentionally mirroring mannerisms to fit in, then you may be coming from insecurity. Letting a persons manneressms rub off on you unconsciously is something different more akin to trust, a willingness to share minds. You could make an anacronym: Hello Other Minds Everywhere!

I had housemate that surprised me until I gave it a moments thought and realised I was no different; When he was going to sleep he didn't mind my vacuuming, but didn't want the stereo on at a much lessor volume. As he explained, the vacumm was non-informational noise. I can tune out consistent traffic noises, but not words or music. If I'm talking to freind and a dog starts barking or a siren is wailing, I have to put the conversation on hold until it passes. I'm not a person who could talk and look for something in my dresser at the same time. When I'm talking/listening my other senses have basically turned off; I see, smell, feel, taste nothing. Perhaps it's partially because I only think in pictures. When I'm in conversation, there's a silent movie running depicting all that's being said. I can look back at this comment and remember an image for every word I said - occasions eating, memories of futilely searching through dressers or trying to fold a box while conversing, dreams of silent movies even. Likewise, I visualise all that you describe. It seems strange that you would be asking advice on how to retain trains of thought, yet you multi-task. Perhaps that has something to do with it. Oh, if by constant chatter, you mean constant conversation, fortunately that's not my experience. At the supermarket people talk at the register. I suppose at the shopping mall there is constant chatter, and then I think actually do tune it all out, as if it were traffic noise or something. You do know some people avoid shopping malls because it takes too much energy to take on all that information in chatter and window displays? Information overload. Think of attending a physics lecture with super-sonic words, notes, and diagrahms being scrawled (and you're responsible for learning it all) going on for hours, and you've had two hours sleep and a hangover. Shopping malls are like that for some people. Especially way older people. Their culture taught you to pay attention to every detail. If you did that now, it would take weeks to travel the aisles of a supermarket, and you'd have to instant replay several times to catch all that went on in a TV commercial. You've lived in a different culture since birth. 95% of all you hear and see probably is irrelevant. It's not 'don't waste your time listening to the snake oil salesman on his soapbox', but ignore most of your mail, most of your calls, most of the tv, your brothers video game, all the bus benches and store windows. I'm still adapting to the times. There was a time I'd stop love making, and I still jump out of the bath to rush to the phone when it rings (though yes, I have an answering machine now), just because I'm used to the phone indicating someone needs help with a flat tire, or some relatives making an expensive long distance call. In recent months though I've been getting telemarketers calling, and stopped jumping out of bed, listening to the message being recorded instead. I think you've been trained from the onset not to bother paying constant attention to everything that exists around you.

I guess people are petrified of silence.

ok.

I think you are right about your last sentence, but also, when I was a kid, I spent a large amount of time 'in my own head' totally oblivious to what was going on around me. (I'm convinced it was Asperger's syndrome.)

That's cool. It takes guts. I wish it was more common.

Who? Not me. I love absolute and total silence when I am at home. I don't expect it when in public.
How do you feel about someone who quietly, (in a reasonable tone) talks on a cell phone while walking down the street or while on public transit? Is it worse than talking with a buddy while walking down the street or riding the bus?
"Anti-social" people do horribly mean things to other people on purpose, with no remorse. I'm sure that's not what you meant.

Ha, your turn. (sorry)

When you get to be my age,you become more uninhibited.My teenage daughter hates,when I do that.Sometimes,when we're shopping,she often thinks that I'm talking to her,when in fact I'm not.I'm usually trying to talk myself out of spending more,on a similar(higher priced)item.& I do a pretty good job too.I often scold myself in public too.& then sometimes,I even tell myself what a good job I've done.

Oh my gosh,I am strange!! I talk to myself any where & all the time.Is that neurotic??? Or a sign of senility or worse yet......old age??? Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Sometimes people will look at me strange & say,"As long as you don't answer yourself." I say, "Too late,I'm already there."

When I was a teenager,I always wondered why the little old ladies, said things that made even ME,blush. Now I know why,they just don't give a care,what they say or who's listening.

Oh my gosh!!! I've become one of those little old ladies.**runs off screaming**

Depends on the situation. As you're walking down the street then yeah but if you're in class or a library or something then no.

One of my exes thought I was nuts because not only did I talk to my cats, but I answered myself back in their "voices." He seriously thought I was unhinged. Then he caught himself doing it one day and he was mortified, but he shut up about it after that.

Anyway, you're not one of those little old ladies! All the best people talk to themselves! And occasionally mortify their teenage daughters.

I don't think it's strange or neurotic at all. It feels better than thinking to yourself silently. I think it's more natural.

Does one person's right to peace and quiet in public take priority over another person's right to speak freely? If it feels more comfortable for George to talk out loud, slam himself into a seat and sing and dance, and he feels restrained and uncomfortable being quiet and still, why is Sally's right to quiet serenity more important? Either way, someone is uncomfortable.

I say the people who want to move around, make noise and stuff should have priority, because it's a whole lot worse to feel restrained than to have to be around an unrestrained person. Society would feel more free and we would be better off.

Here is how I view it:
Reality: People are restrained and overly controlled in actions and speech, so as not to disturb people who are highly sensitive to that sort of stuff.
Ideally: Anyone can feel free to talk to themselves, bump into walls, dance at the bus stop etc, and it doesn't bother anyone.

I think for a couple reasons: 1) the majority preference (ever hear of 'disturing the peace'?), & 2) the noise is active, restraint is passive. noise is doing something to others whethar they want it or not. The norm for things is to go somewhere where it is acceptable, like skateboarding, rock guitar practice, strip-tease acts, etc. Sharing space is a lowest common denominator arrangement or everyone would go crazy being bombarded with every variety of activity. How would you like it if the majority of the public were just learning the bagpipes, violin, or the accordian? Fortunately such folk generally havee the common sense not to play in public until at least they are good at it. I hope you're not one of those people who talks during movies at the theater. I frown at them and relocate. If I could still hear them, I'd report it to management. They don't let people sing during algebra classes, so others can focus on their work. The same applies in public to some extent.
You might appreciate a fellow I saw while bicycling yesterday. He was tanning in a lounge chair, listening to a walkman, in the middle of a traffic lane just short of a cross walk at a large boulevard intersection. (He appeared when I was thinking of you, i think). Now what is wrong with his doing whatever he desires wherever he desires, even if people have to go around him just as people thinking have to steer clear of noisy people or stop what they are doing to allow others unrestrained public behavior?

I very rarely attend theaters. I don't talk in the theater, because there's a reasonable and obvious reason to be quiet.
The law here states that if just 1 person complains about your noise or activity, and you keep doing it, it can be considered disturbing the peace. That puts a whole lot of power on one person, don't you think? I wouldn't mind hearing bagpipe, violin or accordian practice, if it wasn't in a place that demanded quiet, like a theater or a library... or algebra class. I don't think the same thing should apply on a street or in a mall.
If the guy was in the street, where cars had to drive around him, he was creating a problem and putting people in danger. If he was on the sidewalk or something... more power to him.
I don't think anyone should be able to do anything they want, anywhere they want. I just think the norms we have now are too restrictive. I think there is a line, but I draw it in a different place than most people.
When I'm waiting for an elevator that goes "Ding!" I should be able to yell "Ding!" in imitation, and then laugh in hysterics as I get in and see all these serious looking people inside, without anyone thinking I'm disturbing them or being rude.
An energetic person should be able to sing and dance and act goofy, and get up on a bench to be silly and amuse their friends, without someone getting annoyed and telling them to stop or the police will be called. If you are in a hallway with a slippery floor, you should be able to run and slide on it without people telling you to mellow out. on your point #2: Restraint is strained and un-natural feeling. It takes more effort than just doing what you feel like doing. Noise is fun and comfortable. Restraint is controlled, oppressive, restriction. If I can't find something in my bag, so I decide to dump it out and dig, and then shove everything back in my bag haphazardly, that shouldn't disturb anyone. If I can't do that, due to social norms, rude glares etc, then I am the one who is inconvenieced and annoyed having to calmly and quietly dig through my bag. If someone is about to leave the building, and I see their keys, I should be able to yell across the lobby "You forgot your keys!!!" just as well as I should be able to yell "Hey, Frank! Go long!"
People shouldn't have to be reserved because others are unreasonably easily annoyed.

The guy was blocking one of three lanes, and flipping off people who were honking at him. Had I had to drive around him, I would have been no more annoyed than I would be at someone yelling in the supermarket. Either way, physically or mentally, they force me to go around them, and really, I'm more concerned about what I have to do in my head than what I have to do physically. Do you think, focus, concentrate less less at a mall than a library, movie, or algebra class? Personally, the mall involves decision making which requires far greater concentration than researching physics does for me (the latter is almost a meditation I can do in my sleep), so really, I'd be happy if the mall was quiet and libraries were noisy (but not movies). I can tune out visuals though, and they never disturb me anyhow (well maybe some real horror-show stuff would, or really anything negative i suppose).
The other truth of it is that I've been making the arguement because it seemed you weren't seeing the other side. The truth is I do leap in elevators, slide down public stair bannisters screaming 'whee', strike up conversations with anyone on the bus, and dance in public at times. I'd even appreciate people practicing instruments in public much of the time. But I do have to find some quiet nook somewhere to decide if I should head straight home or stop for groceries, or whethar to buy all three lipsticks or just my favorite. Another annoyance are those register clerks tapping their fingers while waiting for me to write a check. I'm too polite to say anything, but I wish they'd realise that the entire time they tap is time I'm distracted by the sight or sound of their fingers instead of concentrating on writing the check.

I guess I've always been able to tune stuff out. It seems like it would be easy for anyone. I never understood people who are annoyed by noise. I barely notice it. I could be sitting on a mall bench, and there's teenagers laughing and jumping and flying around, and it's no more attention grabbing for me than a sign hanging on a door. It doesn't seem like an inconvenience when someone is being loud, the way it does when someone is physically in the way.
I don't like bars, rock concerts, loud sterios, the kind of constant loud noise that disables any kind of conversation. I don't mind moderately loud intermittent loud noises like big trucks, low flying airplanes, people yelling, fireworks, etc. It's not the least bit annoying or distracting. Just part of the ambience.
I'm not the kind of person who goes out to public places and deliberately does things just to be annoying or loud. I act just like everyone else, but on the rare occasions I feel like doing something spontaneous, I hate having to be hyper aware of everyone around me and what they might think before I do it.

When grocery shopping with friends, I'd even pick up harlequin romance novels and read them at top volume in a very lewd suggestive interpretation of each word. Loud rock concert dins that one can't talk over are a hurdle like having to climb stairs, something I accept. (I take it you mean disabling because its too loud to hear the other person, not because it interupts your train of thought¿) It's the intermittant sounds, or content and texturus that are incongruous with my thoughts or the surroundings (which are generally congruous). I might enjoy techno at a rave but not at an arboretum, though people doing some flutes and nature chants might be fine. Basically, I'm going to hear (even be) whatever it is in earshot, so I'd rather it was synchronous with my thoughts rather than create adversity of thoughts.
I think the best policy is to be aware of what would be good for the whole and do it with love. If dancing around cheerfully in an elevator stands a good chance of lightening others moods or having no affect then fine. turning down your ghetto blaster as you pass a wincing old lady might be in order too, but done with sweetness and a smile, not resentment at the imposition upon you. You might find that public behavior motivated by compassion is a lot more rewarding than the mere freedom of doing whatever you want amongst others. For the most part on that bike ride through ghetto areas, I could have lived in fear; instead I glowed, smiling at everyone, and found I had a sensitivity to even spot people a block a way behind a bush. Most of the people were neutral, but some glowingly smiled back. That's a lot more pleasant than if I had averted my eyes from everyone. Most people don't smile until you smile first, so really, I'm not waiting to figure out what they think before I act, I'm deciding for them what they will think with mixed, but generally positive success. btw, I think we are on opposite ends of the sound distracted spectrum, and most people lie somewhere between.

I try to keep conversations with myself inside my head but sometimes something slips out. I don't look at people strange if they do it.

In the past I have just done what I want, feeling free with a cheery attitude. I wasn't thinking about how people would react negatively, but actually imagining people reacting positively, maybe even joining in, or at least feeling happy for me. Someone would still object, much to my surprise and dismay. They would usually cite some safety issue or annoyance. So that's probably the reason I'm so set against having to be reserved all the time to please other people, and why I am inclined to picture negative reactions when I set out to do something loud, carefree and fun.

aww, fudge them.

OK, so where is the line where I shouldn't care what they think, and when I should? You can't pretend no one else is around, but you can't let them oppress your well intentioned freedom either. I'm confused. It's a blurry line.

First of all, there are no fixed rules for anything. It always depends on circumstance. If you're going to be more flamboyant than the crowd in that area, check for little old ladies studying algebra books. In the back of your mind, you're afraid they will care, and so you manifest a disproportionate quantity of those who complain, like in the back of your head you're asking them to be as oppressive as you've made them out to be. The tough part for you is that less stuff bothers you, so you can't simply go by do unto others as you'd have done unto you. Just keep in mind that some stuff you do might make you the center of attention (well, i guess you have noticed that). You might try again with the disapproving types, like when you dance, and they frown, smile at them, connect wih them as to spread your joy. They could be grouchy because they're jealous you're having fun and they were told they can't. (ya know, it might not actually bother them except they'd been trained to think it's not ok, and now think they are protecting society by frowning upon it.)

It's hard for me to put a lot of things in the context of circumstance (except where it is obvious, such as movie theaters and such) I've always felt like if something was OK where I had just been, it should be OK where I am now. My mood didn't change, so it's hard to change the behavior that accompanied it.
I've been aware for a long time (years) that the golden rule doesn't apply to me. There's the Platinum rule "Do unto others as they would have done unto them" It's trickier, but not impossible. And I know about the possibility that people who are trained to think something isn't ok, so they frown on it to protect society, and also the folks who are jealous. I try to consider people's reasoning when they disapprove of things that don't seem so bad.

stop that dancing!!!!

, did I ditch you?

No, I wasn't thinking the conversation had been abandoned, I just did that to be silly. Trying to be like those folks who get jealous when they see someone having fun. It's funny that it can be taken that way, though.

I saw the reference to that jealousy, although in this survey, until I saw your latest comment, I had indeed ditched you.

I had an afterthought. What do you think is worse: A person who carries on talking loud, totally unaware that they are drawing attention and annoying people, or someone who is talking loud, fully aware that they are annoying others, but doesn't care?

http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/04/29/suspicious.passengers/index.html

Fidgety!! Fidgeting is suspicious? Dang. No wonder I get looked at funny sometimes. Sometimes In food courts or fast food places, I sit down at 3 different tables before deciding on one. When I'm excited, I am up and down the steps, too and from different stores and the bathroom at the mall, unable to decide where I want to be. It's sad but amusing in a way that being upset, anxious, excited or nervous makes a person 'suspicious'

As if the only reason to feel that way is because you are doing something wrong! >

ignorant vs intentional? we usually prosecute the intentional more. i still find it slightly bizarre that you devote attention to this flavor of thing.

Not intentionally drawing attention, just not caring that you draw attention. Some people don't see it, but there is a difference.

I find it fascinating. It's psychology. People who care what other people look like and talk about are interesting. People who get annoyed over people who aren't trying to be annoying are fascinating. People who have disdain for people who are just trying to be happy and be themselves are intriguing.

It also seems like people are unreasonably hard on the oblivious. It's as if these people are oblivious themselves. (Don't they realise the person they are bossing around/yelling at/calling names doesn't realise he or she is bothering them?)

mommy, what if pokemon was a grizzly bear?

*tugs skirt* but mommy, what if pokemon was an alligator.

mommy, if pokemon was flying while in an airplane would he just float there or have to move around?

what if pokemon was a snail, and someone stepped on him?