How do you feel about "queer" people (gay, bi, transsexual)?

Biggles wrote:
> Is it just me, or did SC go down for a bit? It seemed to
> be down for about half and hour just now (about 15:30 here
> in the UK)
   Here's the best way to find that out, and you can use it as often as you wish.
   Now that you have your connection to CS, go to the menu "Start -> Run" on your computer and type "command".
   Type in "tracert surveycentral.org".
   You should get something like "Tracing route to surveycentral.org [192.48.232.250] over a maximum of 30 hops" and then a list of computers which transmit your signal to and from SC each time you use it. Numbers on the left (three numbers for each computer on the list) are times, in milliseconds, how long it takes for your signal to reach each of those computers. Write the list of computers down, without the times (they are not important until you get pretty advanced).
   Next time you think you have a connection problem, do the same thing again. Tracert will show you where exactly your signal is lost on its way. If it is closer to your end of the list, then it's a problem with your own ISP. If it is closer to Survey Central's end, then the problem is with SC's ISP. And if the SC is the only computer that doesn't reply to the request, while all other computers on the list do, then the Survey Central itself is down.
   

the MS-DOS icon on your menu does the same as run|'command'.
If you just want the total times use 'ping' instead of 'tracert'.
and if you use a weird keyboard (I use Dvorak instead of Querty) then cut and paste using notepad into the command window.

Ah, thanks

*gives you the most beautiful white flower she can find*

*thinks maybe you need it more than I do right now*

*thinks maybe you didn't mean to say you were refusing the flower?..*
*thinks maybe you wanted to accept it and give one of your own in return?..*

   What do you think about this? Though I didn't try to be too nice there, sorry

   And I have been tickling you again. Thought I'd let you know about it

   Do you know anything about the graph theory?

No, I don't think I've heard of that.

   Ok
   If you take a sheet of paper, draw several dots and connect them with arrows, you will get a graph. It's a convenient visual means for representing any relationships between objects. For example, your dots could represent all people in a large family with several generations, and arrows will show who is whose parent. And graph theory is the part of mathematics that studies various properties of graphs. And why I asked about it was because it is the base of most of computer science - *all* programs have to deal with graphs I believe the finite automata theory itself is based on the graph theory. Which means you're using graphs every time you draw diagrams how ribosomes generate proteins

Um, what's the finite automata theory?

   It's the part of mathematics that studies all objects that have states. A finite number of states For example, your light switch can be "on" or "off". And your car can be "new", "used", "needing repair" and "hopelessly broken". And you can draw a graph (a state transition diagram) that will show what transitions between states are allowed and in what directions - from "new" to any other state, from "used" to "needing repair" and back, and from any state to "hopelessly broken". And you can imagine how that can be applied to biology

Ah, I see

   

   You know, I've told you that I was writing music in my dreams? It looks like I could write novels in my dreams too... Today I had a Hemingway-style dream... It was a bit like Forrest Gump (a long story of a usual person), but with much more psychological details, and without anything like "handshaking with President" or "investing in a fruit company", the main character was a usual person, unlike Forrest Gump (that's why I'm saying Hemingway style)... And I liked it much more, though maybe because it was my own creation Pity that I almost forgot it.
   Sometimes I have dreams in text or with an accompanying voice reading something like text... Like when you read books. I almost live in the story world, and the text is just a voice in the background And I can almost see everything that the book tells about. Do you have that too?

I often think in words, but my dreams are usually images, feelings, smells, tastes, that kind of thing.

*huggles you*
   Wish me luck. Tomorrow I'm going to see a psychoanalyst and say, "Hello, I'm Helen"...

Good luck!

What do you hope to achieve by that? (Sorry, that sounds like a strangely phrased question - a bit brusquer than I meant!)

And why Helen?

I read books in dreams at times. Ancient mystical texts or ideas for creating illustrated childrens books.

   I wish I knew. Just going out live (I mean not online) and asserting myself... I didn't have any other plans.
   Anyway, it already happened... I went there and said that I was Helen. The psychoanalyst didn't understand me at first He said, "What do you mean?" *laughs* He probably hadn't met anything like that. I don't know exactly how backwards Russia is in that respect, but when I followed the advice from a GLBT site and called helpline to ask them about any queer clubs, they said that they'd heard about *one* (I live in a city with more than a million people), but didn't know how to contact them or anything else, and - maybe I should try "it" with girls? (They decided I was gay.) Now imagine that you're gay, you call *helpline*, and instead of help you get "try straight sex first", without your ever asking for that. Anyway... It was just the third time when I met an unprofessional psychologist. In that sense the psychoanalyst I went to today was quite good. Aside from his initial reaction of not understanding, he made only one lapse - asked me if I'm attracted to guys in such a way as though it was just a formality and he knew the answer in advance. As though after saying I was female I would have hesitated to say something like that
   Anyway... I didn't do very good. I had to sit with my legs crossed, eyes closed and closing my face with my hands to be able to talk. Maybe next time it'll be better

I have a comment about this list of options first: Your list of choices was way to vast, try to narrow it down for f*ck sake. But anyway...Gay/straight/bi/transexual, i really don't care what you do behind close doors, i actually don't care at all. I have a gay friend, and I have straight friends, whats it matter, we're all people and we all should get along and be secure enough with our selves, that what others prefer and find happiness in doesn't matter. Whatever the hell floats your boat.

*stomping foot* LESBIANS ARE NOT ANGRY ALL THE TIME! STOP SAYING THAT!

simma down now

MAKE me!

And BTW!!! transexuals are not always gay, infact many are not. Just so you know.

I don't know why they seem so angry. All I do is keep telling them they're angry and they get angry. Sheesh!

Hey, that mind-manifestation link is working!

Sorry, the what?

Well, it ain't easy bein' a lesbian.

They get angry when that's what you expect of them.

   You didn't understand me. There's no such word as "queer" in Russian, so I had to ask for a "gay" club. So they decided I was gay (which I am, but in a sense opposite to what they thought). That was first. And second, I don't understand what you mean by "gay" in regard to transsexuality... I'm trans *and* gay, which means I have a male body, think of myself as a girl and love girls. Someone trans and *straight* would have a male body, think of herself as a girl and love guys. Maybe you meant to say "not all transsexuals are straight"? Anyway... Don't you think that I would have tried to learn about transsexuality as much as possible...

   Yeah... Getting too much of unneeded attention from men and too little of the needed attention from women...

why do religious people spend so much time thinking about other peoples sexuality, I just don't understand. Sexuality is one aspect of a person, fairly separate from, work, parenting, etc.

I don't care what they do..It's their thing not mine

I consider anal intercourse to be unnatural. I do not understand why this a political or religious issue. If everyone was so, we as a species would die out. Still, human beings do lots of unnatural things. If christians were up on what they believed, they would understand that according to the bible, the Most High God, has no scale for sin. Many homosexuals struggle with their own faith thinking that their sin is worse than the sin of others. There is societal guilt related to homosexuality. Still I no doubt will take some criticism for stating these things. It is not my intention to offend anyone.
I am a christian and I do not see homosexuality as a sin above all sins. If you are not a christian, well then it is harder to understand and you will immediately take offense. If you call yourself a christian and still don't understand you may be thinking I am a blasphemer because you do not know what you believe in.
I do not agree with a homosexual political agenda. This nation was not founded on sex.
I do not with a religious political agenda. This nation was founded on God.
I have seen an illusion of tolerance and acceptance. All this fades quickly when you do not agree.
I hear "freedom of speech! freedom of speech!.....

.. Unless you don't agree than SHUT UP. I don't think that is fair.

Anyway. Like I said before, If you are a christian "struggling" with homosexuality, you might understand what I am saying. f you are not, well you will feel attacked. Well, I'm not attacking anyone. I feel the way I feel. It's who I am. I'm sure we can all agree that we a human race full of diverse people.

I probably should have hidden this one. I don't know. I love humanity. I love gays, saints, politicians, humanitarians, those people on death row. I love them all. I really do. That doesn't mean I like everything they believe or do. That's me.

P.S. Did I mention I have a close friend who is very gay? No? Well I do, I don't hate him and he doesn't hate me. We are just very different people. Go in peace.

   You may congratulate me - I'm having my first series of hormonal mood swings...

Wow, fun stuff?

Are you having hormonl treatment?

   Yes, I haven't told you? That's why my picture looks as it does More feminine than allowed for a guy. *shyly* My breasts are growing too - slowly...

I'd love to see your picture.
mandy@apocalypse.org

   Sent

So are you living full time as a woman now?

That's amazing! So you managed to persuade the doctors then? I hope this isn't some backstreet blackmarket affair!

   Um. I guess you could call it "backstreet" and "blackmarket". Officially it takes about two years here in Russia to get doctors' assessment and a certificate saying that you are "really transsexual". And the later you start your medication, the worse results you get. So most transsexuals here learn their medicines from folklore, and that's what I did too.
   I'm going to start "persuading doctors" next spring, when I will look genuinely female...

   Not yet. I haven't crossed the 50% boundary yet - when you look at your reflection in the mirror and can't decide whether it's a girl or a guy. Though I'm close And my psychologist says that even when I do, most people will for a while still see me as male out of inertia.

My mom calls me Kristal; my kids, ex, & bro still call me by old name. I get mixed he's and she's in public and a few rare folks who ask, especially kids. I even have some alert people who call me he or she depending on what side of my gender consciousness I'm coming from at that particular moment. I don't let it concern me, although I once did. I let them know my preference on how to be addressed and leave the choice to them. I got asked out on a date my first time in public by a sweet guy at the copy shop. I still get a few folk who automatically presume I'm a prostitute or at least have a wild sex life. I've learned that it's the inner-being that counts. I can dress like a guy and still be addressed ma'am in a conversation with a stranger, or I can be all done up and still be called a guy if I'm conversing with the mindset of material from my life years ago. One thing I learned quickly is not to try to 'emulate' anything. The singy dance of your words, the way you roll your eyes or any other body language should be an expression of the way you feel, not an attempt at fabricating an appearance of some dream vision of how you'd like to feel. On a day I'm feeling hot, I'll get whistles all day long. Attraction to women will still conjure up some of my masculine mindset. I never thought I would, but i've grown a touch fond of having no gender restriction, being whoever i want to be at the moment. A reaction to one thing one moment might be very feminine and a moment later i'll have a masculine reaction to something else, and i won't bother to notice anymore, i just live in a broader spectrum now. It's been six years to the week since I went full time now.
So what's the percentage in public? Do you work or shop for groceries as a woman? or just go clubbing? How are your interactions with folks changing?

So you're doing the herb thing? It didn't work for me, although a couple years earlier I had breasts appearing from nowhere and that was my inspiration that my hopeless dream was a possibility. Besides, I'd reached a point in my life where I felt I could do anything. I wished them away though so the doctors wouldn't attempt biopsies for cancer or anything, and have had to use hormones since after then. I had those silicone falsies, but I found stuffing with ones carved (scissors) from automotive wash sponges worked quite well. I can even pin them into a swimsuit to go surfing. no weight, comfy. It took four years of hormones to reach a point where I was comfortable in public without them. {and i was really embarrassed at their existing}. I can dig if you have fragility issues. Confidence and sincereity will pull you through. and if you ever do get insulted by macho paranoids, laugh to yourself; they don't have a fraction of the courage you do.

   "Transsexual" = "trannie", a prostitute. Yes, I've seen that too - though thankfully it wasn't applied to me. Then again, it hasn't been publicly known that I'm transsexual, so maybe that's why I have avoided that. *sigh* And I know why. If you're male-to-female transsexual and are on HRT, for two years it means you have a female appearance and a male passport. And it's nearly impossible to get a job because of prejudice. And HRT costs a lot - twice more than you would pay for your food. So how could one earn that money? By becoming a prostitute... *crosses her fingers*
   You can call it "I go clubbing as a girl". When I go clubbing at all - I don't have much time for it.

Check out airport oaks pharmacy in new zealand. they offer all the basic hrt even if they don't advertise it. ie
Estinyl Estradiol "Estrace" -
(.5mg)/Qty 100 #00087-0021-41(Bristol Meyers
Squibb)
Conjugated Estrogens "Premarin" - (2.5mg)/Qty 100
#00046-0865-81(Ayerest)
Medroxy Progesterone "Provera"
"Amen" "Curretab" - (10mg)/Qty 100
#NDC009-0050-02(Upjohn)
generic was under $100.00
Personally I found a methadone clinic / general practition office that accepts a state medical insurance. Injections cut the taxation on your liver in half. It's still a bad mix with tobacco for cancer risk.
I was told at one office job I had where my contract had expired that my coworkers would have been happy to have had me make the change there. I found very little discrimination (or at least couldn't detect any). the biggest objection I faced was from my brother. The only work i've done (other than volunteer work) since was independent contracting, but that was for other reasons.

   Um. Thank you, but how can I check out something in New Zealand if I live in Russia? My medicines cost about $70 a month, and that's exactly as much as one needs for a living here, and as much as one can earn at most jobs. I mean, so you can either eat or have HRT, or think up something else.

   What a weird urge it is, if you look at it from outside - longing for being a member of the opposite sex... And it grows with every small change that brings me closer to it... So that, lo and behold, I'm weeping as though my heart is breaking, just because I found out I won't be able to buy as much hormones as necessary...

They do mail order on the web. Depends on how tight customs are there.

I hope that you're sure that this is safe? You're getting the hormones from a reputable source who isn't going to let you OD on them? Or suddenly start charging immense prices for them?

   What is OD? And yes, it's a reputable source - the organization that supplies all city drug stores with medicines. I hope

OD=overdose.

Good, because we don't want you having a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde experience!

   Oh!
   No, no one is going to watch me. And I need several times more hormones than a natural girl. So... And well, I wouldn't like someone "not letting" me do something anyway

   Ok, I have a little news... My HRT is probably going to cost me twice less than it usually does (and to be several times safer) - because it turned out that hormonally I was never fully male anyway
   Today I was walking along a path and met three guys. One of them asked another, "Is that a he or a she?" The other answered, "Ha! That's an it!" And strangely enough, I was flattered...

It shows that you're on the cusp Getting there

What dosage of what are you on? I'm doing 10 mg of estradiol every 2 weeks.

   Now it's 4 mg of cyproterone acetate, 70 mcg of ethinylestradiol, 2 mg of estradiol, 10 mg of dydrogesterone - all that daily. But don't forget that my estradiol is tablets, as is everything else.

   
   I really should take a new photo

Sounds rather high to me. Have you researched any second opinions?

   Well, my dosage of estradiol is three times higher than yours, but as I said, don't forget that I use tablets - they're less effective than injections. And as for the other two components, I think you just miss out on them. Their effects are not the same as the effect of estradiol, but they complement it perfectly.
   And as for second opinions - it's three tablets of usual medicines for women daily, I don't think it's high, considering that in usual women it augments their natural hormones, and here they augment each other

I'd like to see one

Ok, just making sure you're being careful.

   
   And what do you think about it?
   How did your holidays go?

You look good

*hugs you*

   Today I was told I won't be allowed to continue studying unless a psychiatrist tells I'm harmless...
   And the psychiatrist said that such a request was against the law.
   Well, it's my first prejudice report. I'm sure there will be more...

Where and why is this?

   At the university where I study. And why - they somehow heard rumours that I'm going to change my sex...

That's what I was afraid of. not based on any other behavior, not even based on transgendered behavior, but on a rumour of such. What's it like there? Are people allowed to have green hair on campus? How do they treat gays or any other minority group for that matter. Is that a posted policy of theirs? You haven't been posting or reading radical dissident manifestos or something have you?

That's awful! Will they let you continue studying if you tell them it's illegal to ask or are they going to make a fuss about it? Doesn't it just make you want to take them in your hands and shake them?! *scowls*

For some reason trans-sexuals turn me on (as in female dress, make-up, etc, but still have male genitals)

*hugs you*

   You're talking about transvestites. Transsexuals are different.

and you're sure it's not illegal there? There are rumours that there are places here in the US where someone wouldn't want to have the law pull out the books. But then I suppose just about anyone is breaking some law at times that no would press charges for.

around here they call them trans-sexuals because they have started the transition to female, as in hormones to give them bewbs. But they still have cocks. Transvestites just play at being females. TS's live it every day.

   Yes. Funny, I never considered bewbs a swearword...

I feel sorry for all of them. I respect them, and what they do don't bother me. i just don't like the kissing part of homos. i feel sorry for them, i think they sohuld be respected more

Also, more commonly they are called shemales.

   And now you are wrong. That's the term used by porn sites and by prostitutes. Anyway, to me the words "shemale" and "trannie" mean a transsexual prostitute. And I would be offended if I was called that.

Don't agree. A shemale doesn't have to be a prostitute. And definitely not here in San Francisco area where there are many.

*considers moving to SF*
*grins*

I don't care. But I don't like transexuals. Few days ago, in the subway, a drag queen was staring at me. I got so scared.

You realise I used to be a guy?
So what exactly scared you? Was it like a fear of violence, or unnatural creepiness. Do any transgendered persons affect you so, or just certain flavors (there are quite a few).

No, but this exact guy was staring at me. And he had a creepy eyes. His face was white from all the power, his lips red and his eyes were in black crayon.

Ah, exactly what I roughly imagined you saw. I don't blame you. flame,coal,ghost. ..the underworld of consuming passion.

   It's *soo* slow...

Fine sponges sculpted with scissors make far more convenient stuffing than gel accessories. $1 at an auto supply. There's some psych advantage to the 'slow'. It allows you to deeply acclimatise to an inner change rather than get stuck with initial surface habits. Kids still ask what my gender is. I occasionally see people suddenly break into a reaction when they figure me out. Some presume I'm a prostitute though I'm a celibate minister. People I converse with generally have no reaction except compliments. One drawback though is the paranoia; I almost always presume that if people laugh in my presence, they are laughing at me. It's a life decision that demands eternal strength. You will always have to stay on your feminen inner-being, not slide into you masculine, yet not draw self-conscious insecurity attention to yourself either. If you slip on either, you will face ridicule. You are forced into psychically broadcasting a valiant harmony that permeates your environment, or fighting public sentiment.

*rolls her eyes*
   Though I'll try out your idea with sponges. Thanks

They even work swimming at the beach. I could get by without them now, after 4 years hormones, butI don't. Some fine foam sponges aren't scratchy; others are.

I wasn't able to check off many of these boxes. I don't have anything against gay people but I've never found myself interested in any homosexual activity. Unless maybe it's watching lesbians get it on but in my experience real life lesbians never seem to look quite like late-night cable TV lesbians.

though, i am gay I Despise stereotypes of the "limp wristed fairy". I liked the survey for the fact that you had many opions. I know it most be hard fr those to except something that wasn't common when one was a child, one shouldn't condone it.

Nothing against gays or lesbians.

   By the way, about HBIGDA and their standards. Did you know that here in Russia you will have a lot of trouble changing your documents before SRS, and in another Russian-speaking country, Ukraine, you *have* to do it only after SRS? That is, you've had your HRT, you look female, and yet you have to find money for SRS - and perform it - even if all you want is to change your passport. And I'll have this problem too - I don't want SRS...

Can't anyone change their name to whatever there? In case you haven't been following me these last three months, I've gone back to being male after nine years, though some people still address me as ma'am when I'm thinking from that mindset regardless of the masculine appearance.

is any one out there queer

   I see...
   No. All names here are either masculine or feminine, so you can change your name, of course, but only within your approved sex. Approved by authorities, I mean.

There is no approval of names here. I had friends (a co-worker at my french car garage) whe opted to stay longer in the US rather than get free maternity care in France, so they could name their daughter Candy instead of one of 400 Catholic saint type names. Apparently those french had several middle names to distinguish themselves because the selection wasn't vast. Recall Prince. The rules are quite loose here. My mother has had 14 names in her life.