What is the film you have viewed most recently in a theater?

Yep, nothing like public access television for a good laugh right?

Monsters Inc. My favorite kids movie!!!

i don't remember

Monsters Inc.- just yesterday.

HARRY POTTER!!!!! That was today - I went to see LotR a couple of weeks ago. LotR was better!

in response to your comment to Kristal_Rose about all songs having a meaning, I give you this:

Introduction to Poetry

I ask them to take a poem
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide

or press an ear against its hive.

I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,

or walk inside the poem's room
and feel the walls for a light switch.

I want them to waterski
across the surface of a poem
waving at the author's name on the shore.

But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.

They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means.

Billy Collins
The Apple that Astonished Paris
University of Arkansas Press

Exactly. Not everything means something.

You're hopeless.

Why, because I don't believe what you do?

Because you say you are hopeless to seek that which you seek that is right before your face, even with people trying to shove you face into it, and yet continue to complain. My efforts to show you are wasted, and I see no reason to waste further effort on you. Why should I argue.
Oh yes, and because you took a 180 on Phi's meaning.

You are the one trying to beat meaning out of everything.

"But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.

They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means."

That's YOU, not me. You are the one who tries to find meaning in EVERYTHING, even in things that are random. Read the poem again. You're taking the 180. Again you're reading things into a simple poem because you are trying to find meaning for you.

You're angry at me because you think I will be happy if I become you. I don't want to be a flake who is totally unrealistic. I don't believe any of what you believe. I'm sorry everyone on Earth doesn't change to who you want them to be, but I am me. I have said countless times that I have tried the spiritual side and it has not worked for me. I don't think what you are in to can even be considered spiritual since so much of it is clearly manufactured by a sick mind trying to explain why things have happened to you with supernatural garbage. You have to transcend your belief in things that are not there if you want to move on. I think it's really sad that you consider your ways so fantastic and get angry when others reject them. Clearly your beliefs have failed you since you are unable to accept the fact that what is right for you is not right for other people, particularly those who don't believe in things that cannot be proven or even seen. I think you need help Kristal. You must have gone through such trauma in your life.

I do accept. It's like having the table to myself at a thansgiving dinner. A few people I've met will drop by to snack on things but mot don't know about the table. Yes, I knew too that there were things in that poem for me. I'm having quite the lovely time with my poem.
You said something curiously quite substantive "not spiritual since supernatural". Explain. You're not the first to see a distinction there. As far as get help, isn't that rather severe for someone who has already adapted to life in a way which makes me and most of those I interact with happy? There is the depression and production capabilities for which I do see a doctor already.

Spiritual, although I am yet to experience it, I consider to be divine. What I call supernatural is all the new age stuff that quite frankly I consider to be far from divine, although it is supernatural. These terms are just the way I divide the sacred spirituality which some people say the experience, and the less than sacred fixation with things supernatural which may not be from a righteous source. I think much of what you spend your time investigating and pursuing comes from the dark. Higher life forms don't need to delve into such things.

Things like vampire realities and such are rather dark studies. (I died a few nights ago. My family would walk by me and comment on the matter, I didn't think they'd notice, since i was still going through motions of life). I consider all life divine, and supernatural spirituality (often dark) something intriguing that keeps it from melting into blissful amorphous oblivion. I think you share the same views as my mom. She's after some sort of meditative calm bliss, where I figure let's see what his ship wiil do when we push the pedal to the metal. I do like to visit pockets of heaven from time to time though.

What do you mean you died? I'm not going to ignore statements like that from you anymore.

For starters, it wasn't really me. I was on vacation with my family, and this time more than ever before, I was former self, Thor. Kristal vanished within the first couple days there. I am going to be a bit uncomfortable talking about this. It involves a lot of heavy stories intertwined at once that have been steeping for 28 years. Me or Thor is going away forever, I'm pretty sure. Since kristal was the one that had all the fun and loved being with people, besides being me (not bothering to think about or feel any of what I'm talking about at the moment, trying to stay objective and postpone passion as long as possible).
Thor had much awful karma, a deeply haunted spiritual reality which forced me to download a new being in the first place. You know how my world is somewhat defined by all the words that surround me, well they were all about 'We demand the acrifice of an Angel (give amy-rose to blackie)', with my daughter assuming the role of queen of the underworld, denying her former state of heaven. Instead, as Thor, I attempted to sacrifice my spirt. My body temperature probably dropped 40 (but I raised the tempurature of Alaska 70 like I usually do on my visits), things went in slow motion and felt black and white. I had lost all will and desire, basically becoming an empty shell of consciousness and living death was what the tv video screen and music were about. My son looked at me and simply said 'Dead'. I didn't stay that way for long, but nearly every hour of the vacation was about that intense in one way or another. I probably shed a liter of tears on the trip (mostly about my daughters renunciation of heaven). On the bright side, I taught her some new tricks, like turning an entire bonfire purple by thought and the vulcan mind meld. It was about defining heaven, hell, hades, temperance, sacrifice, the cost of allowing freewill. ¥"The more red, the more to wipe your tears with." Basically, I went to a plane where I learned god's sorrowful love of allowing satan freewill. ¥"Operation enduring freedom"
A bit of beauty and the beast, Titanic, Romeo & Juliet, Don Quixote, & such thrown in.
You should have ignored this one. It was a real challenge to determine the highest ethics in situations that no spiritual texts (that I know of) have ever covered. It's one thing to have policies for divine non-intervention for people you don't know, but another when it's the one you care about most.

I just got home. I was going to take the bus home from the airport, but a gal driving a cab picked me up, and brought me home for free (said she wanted to build herself good karma) and she asked me for advice on the spiritual aspects of longstanding desires.

I don't know what to say. I'm not going to challenge you on any of it, even the turning a fire purple through thought. You already know how skeptical I am. I'm not going to say you and I are on two different levels because I don't believe either of us is better than the other. I think we are two different plains (not planes) and that we can't ever connect.

The majority of the planet wouldn't be on your plane if they weren't meant to be, and as you see, the tribulations, joys, and despairs are felt no more or less on my plane, hmm maybe not, I was on your plane once, and all the emotional peaks have gotten far more intense come to think of it. I wasn't quite the right person to handle the plane I'm now, which is yet another reason I became someone else. My inner despair was being amplified around me, I couldn't handle the mix of being social while being one with it all, etc. I think your palette of shortcomings is fairly similar to what I had, what I still have when I pull my former self out of the closet for my family to visit. Thor didn't quite make it to the angelic plane like I did, but even that decision was because I'd rather step out of the picture and let a certain someone make their own decision than keep them in heaven without a choice in the matter. Now that someone is settling on a choice, kill the angel and get what you want. However, I, Kristal, remain to interefere with their choice, and I'm not terribly fond of sacrificing me, the person I love most, with a great assignment of talking others into finding what I've achieved, just so my former self can live a selfish love-life. Ok, even that self would probably become an angel. I know we share memories and a lot of values like compassion. All the sweetness and fun is Kristal, Thor looks for it in others instead. ¥"Lola. He blew his mind out in a car, it's a living thing, what a terrible thing to lose".
It's weird what little I've been Thor, since I got home yesterday. For instance I lust every good looking female I see, something I always felt guilty about. I thought I'd integrated all the Thor I had use for, and maybe I had. There are all sorts of emotions like rage that I'd forgotten about, which make me think it's too much painful work to resurrect myself, and not in the interest of humanity. ¥"... Oooh ooh ooh, I'm on fire."
If there were only Kristal here, I'd probably have been glad to share a plain.
Ahh, The old buddha adage, may you always live in interesting times. Well, I surely guaranteed myself that one at least. Thanks for listening.

I know about the inner fight more than you could imagine. I have no answers. Every day I survive I beat the odds. I don't know me. How can anyone else hope to?

Your're cool dude.

No you are

Thanks, but Thor's going back on the shelf till family resurrects me again. I respect where we went though.

Why do you feel you have to shelve some of your personality? Isn't it all you?

Well, for one, how would you like to roam the streets in a dress. There's the loneliness and many other issues. We somewhat share memories, but we have differrent attitudes about everything. Thor is hard to keep happy. Flowers and birds, art, etc, really any perceptual intake, won't do it, just creating art and physics, and even then it's pretty much a dry joy. Specifically it's like Spock with a bit of Gomez Addams and Alan Alda. The behavior is much different too, for instance Thor tends to torture himself with things like work-aholism. I tend to avoid using some of the skills i have through thor because they bring out that consciousness which creeps up on me without my noticing till I end up not enjoying anything. Thor is too serious play unless there's a valid excuse like entertaining children. Kristal appeared out of nowhere back in 1993 and kept me from living with a doomed outlook on life. When I was time sharing both personalities, if you were to ask me what I last ate, the first thing that would come to mind was whatever that personality had last eaten, then with deeper thought, I'd see into the memories of whoever actually had eaten last.
So to answer your question, not really. But it's not like I've really entirely shelved one side or another either since I've been working the last couple years on integrating. On my vacation, Kristal was shelved the majority of the time.

Have you always felt you were supposed to be a woman? What about taking the best of Thor and integrating his good points? Male competetiveness, bursts of work attention and the ability to designate time for nothing but relaxation are good male attributes are they not?

Actually, I never had any of those traits. I was raised by a baptist minister gone buddhist monk that convinced me by age 8 that competition was a sin, and taught me how to make all sorts of energy & communication devices like phonographs and jacobs laders instead. I read the libraries engineering section by age 8. I was obsessed with recording time, but never had a sense for it. I was always contemplating or inventing something. I couldn't even go on a nature hike with beautiful woman without bringing design journals. I always brought work home. My competitiveness was limited to how hard I could work myself, I almost hated sports, but went out for cross-country and track. I was very ackward socially, though i spent most of my marriage looking to have an affair. Disney, Dali, Einstein, and Ghandi were my heros. I already have salvaged the virtuous parts of that personality. When i became a spiritual person, i became quite disenchanted with the mundane world and tried wishing it away. In senses, I'm a much more worldly person than I was. I enjoy appearances, where before interest in my appearance was rare. I was definitely not a window shopper. I relaxed when I was drunk at a party. Look at how much fun Spock has. Not much. If it wasn't for my Salvador Dali desire to have everyone consider me a bizarre artist or my war/fantasy gaming & Pythonitism as a teen, I might not have had any fun. Ah, another defecit I recall, I was entirely absorbed with what people thought about me, now it's not an issue at all, as long as I'm not roaming the streets with facial hair, though for my own sake, I enjoy looking nice and do get many compliments. By changing personalities I learned a lot about karma. I was able to learn just how much what world you witness depends on who you are. My neighbors parrot sings my name when i shower and birds sing when I'm happy. Thor wouldn't have even noticed even if it were happening. Thor was self-absorbed in a different way then me. Romantic fantasies of women were the only real that kept me going. I never did anything for myself, and there wasn't much point, after all why decorate the walls if you don't look at them or attach any personal meaning to the decor.
¥"Oh my life is changing every day, every possible way, Oh my dreams, never quite as it seems, now I'm feeling it even more because it came from me, the person falling here is me, a different way to be. I want more, impossible to ignore." 'I hear my voice' and 'Carnival' were theme songs of mine (KR) too.

Oh, I always felt I should have been born a woman, but it hadn't even occured to me as an option till shortly before I did it. The personality I have didn't exist till then either. I imagine it resembles what my dream women must have been like. Now that i think of it, fantasies aren't part of the memories I share. I'd have to go back to Thor to know what those were.

I guess it was Moulin Rouge, in November.

competition is not a sin. Feminists teach this, and try to beat this quality out of their sons. Altruism and competition are both traits that humans should balance. Individually we can balance these things, but as a species, we have male and female qualities. I'm not saying all men behave in one way and all women behave differently, but there are qualities that are considered feminine and masculine. Competition by itself IS bad. A species that is entirely competitive or altruistic will die out. A mother that competes completely for food with offspring will starve the child, however a mother that feeds only the child will starve herself before the child is capable of looking after itself. My point is, there is a balance. Although I am male, I would probably be in jail or dead if I had no feminine traits. If a woman had NO competitiveness at all, or any other "male" qualities, she would probably die too - literally. While each individual needs some of the qualities of the "opposite" sex, it is wrong to try to make everyone act and think the same way. Feminists see male qualities as things to squash in boys. Imagine punishing a girl for finding a doll and cradling it and pretending to comfort it. Imagine if girls were commanded to not share their feelings verbally with each other, and punished if they did. Making boys act like girls to be more acceptable to female (feminist) teachers is bad. You should take those things Thor did well and embrace them. Don't be afraid of his logic or focus.

My mom was mad at my step-dad for teaching me that a fight was never necessary. I disagree though. I never did need to fight and never got in one. The closest too it was when my friend in high school wanted to punch me and I restrained him for 45 minutes, or the time my housemate had his hands around my throat for 45 minutes because he couldn't understand me not getting pissed at my wife having an affair with our other housemate. It was my idea for us to have an open marriage (so she did it the very next morning.) I therefore had no right to complain. I would go to the bar and curse in my diary though. Thor had logic, I haven't lost that. My focus was always poor, especially by the timei lived in multiple spirit realms. They thought I was retarded back in grade school because I was so slow and scattered until they found I'd read the engineering library and that I had a genius IQ. After that they put me in gifted classes instead. Ah, I see what you mean by focus; no, that was daydreamy obsession. I could let the world pass while spending 20 hours on some drafting, but someone else would have finished it in 4 hours. Being Kristal was also a way of sparing myself the torture. I find that my current attitude of stopping every half hour to play a song feels much healthier than working 52 hours straight on a sculpture. The main difference is a feeling. Thor feels like octaves lower coming from a stone chest and a water back of the head, Kristal feels octaves higher coming from an air/fire forehead and the same water back of the head. One of the ways that manifests is my eyes are bright wide open, Thor's eyes were generally sunken like a cave.
Just heard Pythons 'cheese shop'. It was weird how many things from long long ago remanifested themself over my vacation.
I think I can generally do without the obsession and frustration that were my trademarks. and I never let go entirely of the scientific/inventive mind (as kristal, my compromise). If I head across the spectrum to pure Amy, even that get's lost though.
I'm happier this way. Why try to change me (at least you got an excuse now to turn the tables on our rapport). Also, I'm happy with myself instead of having to look (obsess/cherish) for someone else to be all the traits I admired. I wouldn't recommend you go my route, but I think you and my former self were close enough for you to understand the happiness deficits that sort of life entailed. A lot of people rewrite themselves within their existing gender though after an awakening upon finding how much a costume the personality was.

Harry Potter

Tonight I'm going to see Amelie!

I was thinking about the differences in male and female faces yesterday. Male eyes seem to be set deeper and they aren't as wide. They actually look more focussed and intense. Do you only feel your eyes are different or do you believe they now look different? What you describe where you work a little then play a song etc is typical of female work practices. Females work longer while males work intensely. Males assign time for work and time for relaxation which is why men get annoyed when asked to work during their relaxation time. When men do work that's all they do. I am paraphrasing several books of research I have read on male and femal traits. If you consider that women were traditionally responsible for children, they have to be 'on' all the time, just in case a child wakes or needs help in the middle of the night. Men were traditionally hunters who focussed for hours on a single goal until it was achieved. Once it was achieved it was time to rest.

I'm starting to think that people are who they are. There is no fundamental change to be made. I'm sure your personality is different, but you are still the same person Thor was. Some of him must survive. If people aren't happy they soon learn to deal with this reality and simply survive with it. You and I just are. We aren't alike, but who should change? The answer is neither.

I could quote all I would have just said over the radio again, but I just woke up and can't type that fast. The eyes definitely changed, it shows in the photos. 'Always on' was one of the changes that occurred. Linked to kids whethar I wanted to be or not was another, but perhaps that was manifest before too, but as an irritation I could not ignore, not as something to send energy to. Eyes smile. It's an indicator of two things: more happiness and my mind thinking in tandem with the world, not away from it.
I was beginning to wonder if you'd disappeared. I've currently got the complication that thor and kristal want to move to different places, a ghost town and the coast.
I got quite a gift yesterday. It's been my intent to move into a career of writing/illustrating childrens books. I awoke from a dream of a book that had me in hysterics in a Gorey/Sendak/McCauly style, then proceeded to sketch down ideas for another fourteen books with most of their pages. They were pretty wacko, and teach young minds to think creatively outside of the box. I'm thinking I'll be spending at least another semester at my same community college while I finish my car, then move and pick another college. My AA is out of date, and includes little specifically towards an education career.

Harry Potter!!!!!!!
It was swell!

If I was unemployed I think I would move out of the city to a small town and I would be the mysterious person who would keep to myself. Do you get paid at the college?

No pay, when I was officially a tutor in the programming lab, i refused it because it would complicate matters. I do consider it work though, since I serve the role of tutor or extend the curriculum in all my classes. I don't want to keep to myself, and yet I've just woken at sunset again. I don't have any excuse to leave the house, but I'll be glad when I do. I think I'll go hiking in the morning to get on a day schedule again. If I move to the ghost town, I'd want to be mayor or at least be intimately involved in everyones life. The romance of the location to build a home attracts me; leaving all the college, cultural window shopping, media, and other appeals of the big city would be a loss, even if I taste it only once or twice a month. I got my old girlfriend on the phone (the one who called me evil and never wanted to talk to me again) a couple nights ago, and that livened me up substantially. Other-worldly with guests is fine, mysterious and lonely sucks enough already.
I was beginning to think you had a new years resolution to spend less time here. The gaps between visits are longer.

With the internet you wouldn't really be out of touch in a small town.

Not more than now, but even now I'm getting cabin fever waiting for school to resume. A small town is a gamble on whethar I would have a greater or lessor social life. Some organization is occurring to me, like get a car running and afford insurance first. I'm thinking to wean off SC for awhile to get stuff done. I'm spending like 5-10 hrs a day here.

5-10 hours! Try just doing your replies for a while and don't make any new comments to people. I think people is big cities are lonlier. You don't see many people in a small town walking around the street talking to themselves because no one else wants to listen.

It often takes me about an hour to spew out a paragraph. On the other hand, at times, I knocked off a dozen digital paintings per hour. Generally though, I'm slow. They thought I was backwards back in grade school (putting me in all the slowest groups) until the end of the 4th grade when they discovered I'd read the local engineering library and designed engines as a hobby. They found I was a genius. I'm much slower now.

Today I had an inspirational day. I walked to the hiking park, saw stores and sights I'd never seen, like a used furniture outlet with an antique celebrity photo collection (we live near the movie studios), and at the park I found a totally new set of trails, different flowers, trees, etc.. I enjoyed talking to the landscapers about the species there. As far as folks talking to themselves, there's often more going on than meets the eye there. I've seen more than one which might just seem to ramble, but if you pay attention, you'll find that some change their manner of speech and subject matter to match people passing by, even those walking behind them out of sight. It's like a supernatural disease, the result of losing ones ego and becoming sensitive, without having found God to fill that gap. There are other scary variants too. Have you heard the ones arguing with such passion that you can make out by context almost exactly what the person they are arguing with must be saying? I expect only in the big city though do you find the ones with the grouchy judgemental dialogue, probably the result of talking behind peoples backs for years of street begging until it sloppily becomes one's primary mode.
I can find someone on any streetcorner to talk to. I fear in a smalltown I'd burn through everyone too quick. I've noticed each of my girlfriends is like a chapter on a new way of being. Each one is as far off the map from the priors as possible in attitude, consciousness, behavior, life-style, circumstance, etc. The next one could be COO of Mattel, or some wood-witch living in a tree. They seem to leave my life when I've finally adopted their wordview (to the point of understanding it, thinking in it, and briefly allowing it to affect my behaviors) and they've adopted some of mine as well. The last one went from rush-rush, straight, buy-new-new-new, to slow down and savor, lesbian, buy vintage, while I developed a taste for rave energy, tried sex without commitment, got a taste for the desert, etc.
This passage took about an hour and a half, but there was a mediocre tv show (smallville - about superman as a teen) going in the background. I lose my thoughts, and searching memory for the right word sometimes takes a couple of minutes.

Smallville is crap isn't it? I feel better today too, although occasionally I will experience a wave of dread as if something really bad is going to happen soon. I've decided to plant another garden. I have to cut down some casuarina trees (which are slowly dying from borer bettle infestation) and create a border with the trunks. I then plant Australian native shrubs within, planted way too close to each other, then fill the thing with grass clippings and horse crap. Then I water and stand back. It's fantasic to visit one of these patches after six lonths of growth and find a densely packed mini ecosystem full of insects, lizards, frogs and birds. I think you needed to "go bush" for the day, even if it is to a city park. There's something about nature that calms and regenerates the soul. Only answer this if you want to. As a woman, have you tried sex with a man?

The TV wouldn't be on tuesdays nights if not for my favorite, Gilmore Girls, on just before smallville. It takes the place of the sort of mother-daughter relationship I wish I had.
Wow, I dig hearing about the garden specifics.
I even hiked barefoot through thistle patches. I was off trail most of my time which I like. One either has to methodically chart a course, or get into that state where one foot after another just knows the rught place to head.
As a woman, I had oral sex with four or so guys one week when travelling, and each had been straight. I was verifying what I could get away with. I'm not anal, but with the first one, a shaman, I would have gone all the way if equipped to do so. As a woman, my attraction is really wired much different. I'm extremely choosy, and a whole lot of sentiment and character (integrity, charm) has to shine through (fondness inspiring) from someone whom also happens to be ruggedly softly handsome for them to even make the list. For women, the criteria are much different: they have to be cute and playmateish, someone you have a tickle fight with. As a man, my attractions are rather the opposite, appearance (young 20's) hits the hormones, then sense kicks in and I filter out someone who doesn't have flowing warmth and/or brilliant creative mind. Usually I get stuck with just the looks and mind though, or warmth & mind. I'm pretty sure that the only thing that's held me back as a woman is the anatomy. Even fantasy falls through the moment there's recall about my actual physical state, and so I compromise by going lesbo. My masculune side can emerge without freaking, and my feminine side can make do. It would be so much easier if I had two bodies, as far as my sex life goes. The time sharing plan doesn't work as well there. Also it's a bit of a trick to find someone that accepts the range of your being. My last was really dating thor, the prior was dating kristal, and neither was interested in the side of me they weren't after. My predicament forces me to learn a bit more about psychology than most face I suspect, though I still fell inadequately wise in this department. I don't think either side of me has conventional contemporory dating psychology down. But then looking around, it often seems no one else does either.

Oh, you watch Smallville too? I like that show. By far the best Superman related TV show I've ever seen.

Were the guys all aware that you were born a man? This is really weird, I mean it's as if they will accept head off a man if they are dressed and acting like a woman. Have you ever been scared of a bad reaction from a man?

Kaleb, if I don't like what someone is doing, I rewrite them. If they aim a gun at me, I send them away. If a dog charges at me, teeth bared, I freeze them, and send them away. If someone follows me shouting insults, I look them in the eyes, and they fall prostrate saying 'bless you'. I have had deities visit, making their grand entrance with an earthquake or local power outage. I laugh and find it empowering, because in proportion to the risk, I dig out my connection with the lord that writes the whole play. I only worry about trivial crap, petty situations in which I just let things happen anyway they want. My fearful concerns are about how people feel, because when my goal is their happiness and karma, or when I want a truly mutual relationship, I can't respectfully go rewriting them. I have to use the same rules of psychology as everyone else, and take the same sort of guesses on how they really feel about something (well, ok, i do often cheat in that regard). I've given my life to God already. There's nothing I need to worry about on this plane. Last easter god told me i can have 'whatever' i want. all i asked for was instant guitar virtuosity, and did a few tricks like lighting my kettle by thought. Basically, i declined the offer. It had me in tears. I doubt you take the question seriously enough to even contemplate it on a what if basis, but i'll tell you what i concluded, omnipotence is death. You think you're jaded; imagine instantly knowing or doing anything that suits the fancy of your imagination. There would be no cause for emotion. All experiences would be equal. The risk, awe, surprise, effort.. of all of them would be equal. Perhaps I should have opted for a bit less than the loser i remain with all my life support needs met, but the guitar thing was a good humble choice. I'd spent a year and a half earlier as young adult without getting much of anywhere on the guitar.
You know, I give you an immense amount of credit for even talking with me with a straight face. So often the intersection of our realities is but a thread. I may be dealing with the same trivial stuff, but on occasion you'll hear that where i'm coming from to deal with it is hardly the same planet. What kind of emotional reaction happens over there when you hear this stuff? Do you grit your teeth and patiently circumvent the loopiness, do you roll your eyes and say 'whatever lord'? All the behavior/psychology details of my life spring from an understanding of a different reality package. I can afford to recommend idealism to others beacuse i know why it's actually possible.
There's stuff on gay/lesbian safety on the radio at the moment, but my mind's not really there to bother quoting. Believing the lord will protect you from physical harm would be a nice place to start practicing divine intervention. Oh, and yes, I'm fairly sure the guys knew. I'm a bit of a mesmer. If not, i'm living in unplanned grace, or at least asking to filter the sorts of people that appear in my life. Either way, it's all God in my life. That comes with a cost. I can't believe in people as people. I can still love them, I just can't trust that that which happens in my interactions.. ¥"Everones on their best behavior. This not true cinema verité, They know the camera is on them. What do they get out of it? Well, they want to see their president. It may be as close as they get to seeing this guy in his true venue." .. is the honest psychology or behavior I could expect from them if I were anyone else.

I'll give the show that. It's a bit like X-files and one of those small-town people shows like Ed. I'm glad it's not another shallow bionic man.
Batman was always a favorite of mine. That should be made remade as a series with wit of the show (oh, those deductions he'd make), and the mood and practicality of the original comic, where he got by by swinging on curtains, using common science, and other realistic capacities within the means of any endowed young mortal.

Well, the next Batman movie is supposed to be like that. It's based on Frank Miller's Batman: Year One (one of the best batman comics ever behind Dark Knight), and is being directed by Daren Requiem For A Dream Aronofsky.

Cool. The last time I felt something true to detective comics #3 should arise, the first movie was born.

I'm sorry, I don't know what "mesmer" means. Your question about the reaction here is referring to my reaction? If so, when reading you talk about meeting deities I don't really know what to think. You may be using those words to describe something I would call something else. You may really believe in what you say although what is actually occurring is something quite different, or of course you may be in fact experiencing what you say you do. I will never know. People perceive things differently, then there is the problem of using language to convey experiences and feelings. If the reaction to things you speak of refers to Australian society, I can't see any real difference in the type of people you would find in the US. My workplace has a cross section you would not believe, and Brisbane is more conservative than southern states or cities. I think Sydney people have just about seen and heard it all. Do you think your belief in Gods' protection makes your body language tell others not to fudge with you because you're not at all scared? Even if you didn't have Gods protection this may save you in certain situations.

See the movie Mesmer about a doctor who healed with animal magnetism. It's that rasputin sort of energy, though not necessarily so dark, in which people are compelled to adopt your world view.
I meant you, not australia. I expect the proportions of mystics, staunch fundamentalist attitudes, aetheism, etc. are no different in australia, though the objective framworks and fancies may stem from different histories.
You reserve judgement. That's excellent. When I meet a deity, unless it's partially happening through a dream, it happens through the confluence of media (radio, photos, tv, nearby conversations), events (earthquakes, military demos), and forms manifest in textures, and an intuitive awareness that the quality of matter has changed in it's animation, geometry, light, temperature, time flow, etc. For instance a warm kaleidoscopic light/electron fractalling flow is much different than black sucking windows frozen in time. One's understanding about the design motives of matters local architect changes. the influence of deities is not unlike the passing of weathar, changing the flavor of events, and the perception of the viewer.
My body language probably does change, but people who rely on that are missing much in my opinion. When I was a kid I started doing my first telepathy experiments. I would hang out in a skyscraper penthouse, several stories above the beach walk, windows closed, and focus on dogs below; they would freeze in their tracks, look around to their sides, then look right up at the window I was behind and comfortably resume their walk. Also I noted back then that my friend could be mad at their dog for something, and the dog seemed to have a guilty body language before we even let it in to see us. Have you ever realised that amongst a couple hundred people that someone nearly a block away is looking at you. I suppose this could be explainedby vast periphery vision processing, but I don't buy that. I think a lot of conversations take place on a level that is neither audible nor body language. Do you ever talk to wacko homeless people? Often they are on a plane that deals directly with your inner process. I was shining a prayer beam at someone last night with someone who was to gone to converse intelligbly, but I was angry at things like the hopelessness of his situation (after trying to give him street directions and such), and the perverse attraction i felt he had for me, though I thought i'd had a cheerful compassionate enough veneer on his behalf. He called me on it instantly, saying something like 'you shouldn't be mean when shining that light.' I don't think body language is enough to possibly explain these sorts of situations, and certainly not the ones in which people are aware of everything a person is about to say word for word. I've even had that happen (seeing all the words to come) when the person was speaking to a friend in a foreign language I did not know.

Dogs are psychic. I will be lying in bed and think of stuff I need to do and immediately one of my dogs will come to my bed as if to say "well come on then!" There are a lot of things I can't explain, yet. We think using pulses of electricity. Perhaps other humans and animals are able to tap into some of these electrical signals.

My cats know when I'm thinking to take them on a walk, or when I'll supplement their food with the canned stuff. They also lick my face if I'm feeling really depressed.
I think my pschic interactions with dogs have probably saved my skin a few times.

Gone in 60 seconds. Don't go to movies or rent them much.

Where do you take your cats? I have a cat that follows me around the garden even though I don't really pay her much attention. I always get the feeling she wants something, but the dogs just want to be with me.

Up the street and down two alleys. It's usually 3 in the morning. We watch stars, smell roses, seek abandoned furniture material (I just bought a 1907 sewing machine and need to buy or make a treadle/trundle), sing with crickets, and play hide & seek tag games (I chase them, they chase me).

Is it safe to be walking around alleys at 3am?

When I said I had little fear of events, I meant it. If I parchuted into a desert, I would expect to find abandoned water drums waiting for me. I intentionally go into situations where I am told that I will be disdained for being TG, to show my doubters that I will be appreciated there. 'Where angels fear to tread' is one of my mottos. I affect weathar and traffic safety and such. All I have to fear is my own entropy.
My needs are met (maybe not all my desires). I see that everyday. someday I will plan some dramatic death, like being torn apart by wild animals, but not yet. (If I don't learn to teleport by then)

There are some things you wouldn't do because of the danger aren't there?

I don't try to subvert the laws of physics by jumping from planes without a parachute. On the other hand I do do a lot of things even in thatrealm that many would not attempt, like replacing old industrial voltage circuit breakers live or reconfiguring plumbing that has no shut-off from the water tower. I like to freak people out by doing things like walking on wire mesh bridge siderails while looking instead at the ground several stories below. I stick to the realm of possibility, and don't hunger for danger, though I like the occasional practical challenge to keep me on my toes. I often opt for the most difficult route. When there is an earthquake I was not expecting, I step out of the house quickly.
My brother seems to have a deathwish and does things I would never consider, like mountain biking down vast 45º inclines with hairpin turns or flooring it on a snowmobile down small dark trails. I feel safe when events are concerned, but not when quick physical dexterity is involved. I survive by being one with things, not opposing them, though both are defying the status quo.

I have never felt the need to seek situations where I am in danger, in fact I actively avoid them. I avoid most situation that are outside my 'comfort zone', although when I was heavily into drugs i took some stuff that I would never try now.

Do you have any delight in doing that which hasn't been done before, like creating urban plans or new math applications. New concepts are one of the most adrenalin instigating vices I have.
I don't exactly seek dangerous situations, I seek situations that I can prove otherwise.

Sometimes I lie in bed unable to sleep because I'm thinking about how a freeway interchange I use could have been designed better. I get delight from the plants I envision filling a space slowly growing to fill that space. I used to write to the paper all the time arguaing against the 'do-gooders' who's ideas actually take freedom away from people. I think the more rules there are the more people rebel. If people can govern themselves they will find a place where most people are happy. That's why I oppose moves from the left wing to regulate everything, including what we can say. I argued against a plan by environmentalists to ban all tree felling on private land, even if the trees were planted by the owner. I said I would set the lot on fire rather than have some suit from George Street (where Queensland State government is housed in Brisbane) dictate what I can do with my land. People with ideas like that fail to see they can actually have an effect that goes against what they are trying to achieve. If people find they can't cut down trees that they plant if they need the land in the future, why would you ever plant a tree? I love arguing against such ludicrous legislation, but haven't had the will lately. I have been keeping a low profile everywhere. I once defended workmates who I felt were being treated unfairly. Lately I don't seem to have the energy. That is a sort of dangerous situation I guess.

My family sold off much land that was part of their sheep ranch a couple/few decades ago. It's all been clear-cut now. People need to pay high property taxes in Oregon, US. I haven't heard that anyone intends to replant it. It was once gorgeous property. I still see the general sense you intend, but i also see what they tried to prevent. If they couldn't expand harvesting territory, they would be forced to reforest.
'What' is a dangerous situation?

Sticking my neck out for someone else. You get a reptation for being a troublemaker. People tend to notice any little mistake a trouble maker does.

That's what I thought. I too have noticed that seems to attract more attention at times than those being harrassed.

Lord of the Rings (FINALLY!). Great movie! Definately one of my favorite films of 2001 (I saw it a few weeks ago but it was released last year so it counts as one of last year's movies). Up there with Final Fanatsy and Harry Potter.

Lord Of The Rings ****

I haven't been to the theater in several years. I use Netflix.